The man I’m dating doesn’t wash his hands after using the toilet

[michaelsnores]

The man I've been seeing for the past few months has started staying at my house more often lately. My house isn't big, and the bathroom is right next to my bedroom, so you can hear the tap running. He was over this weekend, and I noticed a few times that he didn't wash his hands after using the toilet. I brought it up to him, thinking he just didn't realise, but he insisted he didn't need to and that it's different for men. I told him, "You're still touching the toilet seat etc," and even showed him a screenshot from Google.

He was pretty firm about not needing to wash his hands, so I just said, "Please do it while you're at my house since you're touching me and my stuff afterwards," and he agreed to that. I know he won’t be doing it whilst he’s at home or out and about though.

I’m not sure if it’s dump worthy, but it is a little grim, yes? He genuinely doesn’t think he needs to.

Absolutely not. Hideous.

Disgusting but normal. So don’t expect to easily find a cleaner man if you dump him
at least he has agreed to do it in your home -/ when touching you

The bar is so low it’s in hades

@michaelsnores

i got this off AI OP …..interesting

Men should wash their hands before sex to prevent the transfer of bacteria and other microorganisms, which can cause infections like urinary tract infections (UTIs), and to avoid irritating or causing allergic reactions in their partner's genitals. Washing hands also removes residual chemicals from lotions and promotes overall hygiene, contributing to a more comfortable and intimate experience for both partners.

Why it's important:

Prevents infections:
Hands can carry a significant number of bacteria from various surfaces and the body, which can be transferred to genitals during sexual activity, increasing the risk of infections for both partners.
Reduces irritation and allergies:
Residues from soaps, lotions, or other cosmetics on hands can contain fragrances or chemicals that might cause irritation, redness, or burning sensations in sensitive genital areas.
Minimizes the risk of UTIs:
Dirty hands can introduce bacteria into the urinary tract, raising the likelihood of developing a urinary tract infection.
Enhances intimacy:
Good hygiene practices foster comfort and cleanliness, which can improve the overall quality of the sexual experience and enhance intimacy.
Avoids cross-contamination:
Clean hands prevent the transfer of substances from other parts of the body or other surfaces that could be harmful to the genital area.
How to wash hands effectively:

Use soap and warm water.
Wash thoroughly, including under and around the fingernails.
Considerations:

If washing isn't an option, using latex or polyurethane gloves with lubricant can be a good alternative to protect against germ transfer.
If a partner is unwilling to wash their hands, it may be a good idea to hold off on sexual activity until you are both committed to safer sex practices.

Bin him off, it's stomach churningly foul.

Revolting. And in a new relationship, too - definitely the thin end of the wedge. I couldn't get past that.

No. That's horrible and he wouldn't be touching me or my things ever again.

Apparently at work many men don't wash their hands but I've seen women not do it either. Even after a global pandemic!

I wash my hands each time and each time I come home. I'm convinced it keeps most things at bay.

Although judging from the lack of hand wash during the pandemic a lot of people didn't buy it before.

Well he wouldn't be touching my vagina with those hands!

There's a whole book about that, I can't remember what it's called though. It changed maternal mortality overnight, doctors washing their hands.

Urgghh, you have reminded me of someone I once dated. He went for a no2, definitely didn't wash his hands, still using his phone. Then he plunged him hand into a shared bag of crisps. I haven't dated since 😂😂

Definately doesn't just apply to men - my female colleagues don't either.

Grim yes - but have you researched how many germs are on your taps, towels etc. There's a reason we have sensor taps and hand dryers in public loo's

And I think you’re making sweeping generalisations.

To many men just having a wee is different. If they wash themselves every day and are clean then what germs and diseases do you actually think they are going to catch from themselves and give to other people? And if your loo seat is that filthy then that’s a you problem.

Not all men are gross 😁. My DH is really clean and god do i appreciate it. I realize it’s one of the reasons I stayed with him having had a grubby boyfriend before him.

I'd probably be dumping him if he doesn't change and improve his personal hygiene. It's gross. At the very least, there'd be no way he'd be touching me until I'd seen him wash his hands, which he'd probably not take kindly to! I'd also regard his response as a warning sign as even though you've mentioned it, he doesn't seem to have taken it on board seriously as a genuine concern, which is a red flag.

Slightly similarly, a previous boyfriend had bad breath and I told him that he'd have to brush his teeth more often if he wanted to kiss me - he only needed telling once - never had the same problem with him again - they learn quickly when you make it clear they're not getting what they want if they don't!

He will give you cystitis with his filthy habits!

Sorry this would be an absolute dealbreaker. That really is gross - and even worse that he tried to dismiss it after you brought it up.

Nope not for me.

Eww i’d definitely be getting rid!

Grim. Show him the door....but don't let him touch the handle 😂

Reminds me of a Father Ted episode.

Ditto.
My husband once said he total judged colleagues who didn't wash their hands.
Its disgusting, but sadly lots of men are.

A friend told me a similar tale about restaurant/cafe menus. I never handle a menu without remembering that now. So out comes the hand sanitizer or a visit to the loo to wash hands. Urghh,!!!

WTF? Is this for real?

That's how nasty stomach bacterial infections like H.pylori are spread.. get rid. What a massive ick.