Couple having sex in front of window

[doremifaso]

My children’s bedrooms looks out toward a house in the distance that has a bedroom in which looks like a converted loft. They have big floor to ceiling windows and NO curtains.
We were told by my neighbour once that he saw the occupiers there having sex in full view in front of the window - this was during an afternoon.
My husband also witnessed their act just last night when settling the kids to bed. It’s not hard to miss because their light is on and they’re BIG windows. My husband said he saw a lot of detail.
Not to sound prude but I’m really concerned about my children one day seeing them doing it. I have both sons and a daughter and don’t really want to expose them to sex in this way.

I’ve been told I don’t really have much right to complain because it’s within their own home but I am thinking of writing a letter to politely ask if they would be able to get some blinds or curtains installed.
If they ignore it, is there anything else I could do?
What would you do?

So you would close your curtains all day in order to avoid the risk of being exposed to?

It's exhibitionism. I had a guy opposite my flat in London who, every Sunday afternoon without fail, would take his dressing gown off, sit on his recliner, by the window, project porn on to a massive wall mounted TV, and have a long leisurely wank with the blinds open. Around 30 flats in my building could see either him, or the porn. The concierge of his building was notified, and after the concierge of my building clocked him for the third time, they both phoned the police who had a word.

Sex doesn't just happen at night and I don't want to close my blinds in the middle of the day. They should move away from the window or install blinds.

Some of the replies on this 🤯
Phone 101 and report them. End of!

I would take a photo blurring faces and any personal parts then report to the police (and immediately delete the uncensored photo including from recycle bin so you can't be accused of voyeurism!). Though maybe better to ask the police first about required evidence before resorting to photography.

I would write a letter to them first though before resorting to that, as I imagine the police will expect you to do that first. And it's just polite. Maybe they're unaware. They xould get some of that glass that goes darker at night so people can't see in if they don't want curtains or something.

OP's husband is 'creepy' but not the exhibitionists putting on a live sex show every night? Sure.

They are the "cool" mumsnetters.

To have sex in front of a large window with the lights on is exhibitionist behaviour IMO.

It wouldn't bother me, but maybe you should close the curtains of your DC's bedrooms before they go in there.

This reminds me of when we had a street party many many years ago. There was a couple that we called spiderman and his wife (because he was apparently obssessed with spiders). Everyone in the street was invited but they declined.

As it was getting dark the light went on in what I presume was their bedroom window. The curtains were open and Spiderman was wandering round with nothing on. The entire street was fascinated by this and it did cause quite an amusing stir.

😆😆😆

Polite note

If that makes them worse, they have an exhibitionism kink. If they don’t stop after knowing children are involved, police. If that doesn’t work, I’d show them what real exposure looks like 🤷‍♀️

The OP said a converted loft. I'd be curious to see the physics of "passing by".

We had a neighbour that did this a number of years ago now. Not quite such big windows, but it was obvious what was going on. It wasn't infrequent and it was by the big door where my kids had to go in and out during the day. I went over, knocked on the door, and asked them to close their curtains when they were busy. Very civil and brief conversation. They never did it again and always closed the curtains.

There’s a very interesting effect on these threads. The serious-minded posters seem to have the more lurid imaginations: full on Amsterdam porn show right in your face in the suburbs, that sort of thing.

We have no idea what the details of distance and likelihood of being seen are!

Make me laugh if the OP sends the police round and the couple turn out to be the local Inspector and his/her partner.

and if a neighbour is playing loud music at 3 in the moring or has an incessantly barking dog, then you should just get earplugs, and if a neighbour has a bonfire every evening in their garden you should dry your clothes indoors and keep your windows shut at all times, and if a neighbour likes to have a wank while watching passers by from their living room window, you should cross the road and look the other way, all problems solved without troubling the neighbour.

The responses on this thread are a bit shocking! I’m all for doing what you want in your own home, but they need to get some curtains! Drop them a note, anonymously if you want. They might not realise. Then if it continues the. You might need some of the advice on this thread.

I would put a note through the door, having sex in front of a large floor to ceiling window with the light on is indecent exposure imo whether it's in their house or not!

I wouldn't have cared if it was the police inspector, I'd still have asked them to close their curtains (see post above). No need to send the police around when a simple conversation will do it. Just stay matter of fact. The distance between us and the neighbours was about two driveways, the windows on the same level - my living area facing their bedroom. We did know them well enough to say hi in passing and they were generally okay neighbours on the whole.

I am surprised most people would consider closing children’s curtains all day or frosting their own bedroom windows as the first resort!
Write them a letter. They may not realise quite how exposed they are and I think most people would not want to do a sex show for children!
Just be polite and act like you’re letting them know this as there are children’s bedroom windows face their house.
Hopefully that’ll sort it. If it doesn’t sort it, then film it and show police - but do not upload anywhere or share on social media as that would be illegal. But to my knowledge the advice is to record a neighbours antisocial behaviour - which this is at the very least but I think it falls under public indecency - so to do so to provide evidence to police is not illegal.

How far ‘in the distance’ is their house, OP? Any chance they don’t realise they’re being seen?

Quite. People on here are batshit crazy..

Don’t bother with the letter just contact the police. These people know they are being seen by everyone and don’t care if a child sees them so are committing an offence. Police will go and speak to them and sort them out

"It’s not hard to miss because their light is on and they’re BIG windows."

That makes no sense. You mean it is hard to miss.

There are rules - the was a court case - www.gazettelive.co.uk/news/local-news/billingham-man-naked-window-3698250.amp

They don't want curtains, they do it on purpose for an audience!

Absolutely. They could not be unaware.

Surely there is a legal remedy? Is it possible for OP to contact the local councillors?

I'd be very upset if my children ran the risk of witnessing live sex acts as they are putting on their pyjamas at night and I am quite forthright about sex education with my children. It doesn't sound like it missionary position sex, right? I think they are putting on a show and it is part of their sex life.

I just think there are sex clubs and other perfectly fine places to get involved in this kind of exhibitionism that isn't imposing on others.

What a lot of people are clearly finding "shocking" is the failure of some posters (raises hand 👋) to organise virtual lynch mob based on some suspiciously vague (made more so by any subsequent clarifications). Thankfully it seems groupthink isn't quite here yet.

Also a lot of posters suggesting there needs to be more information aren't necessarily condoning the behaviour.

As a previous posted noted, this is AIBU which can be a rather boisterous playground for the delicate. I'm surprised someone hasn't said fuck off yet 😀

They may be mortified to discover they can be seen so clearly. So is tell them. My parents can see into their neighbour across the roads bathroom. Despite frosted glass. But they won’t mention it. I’d want to know!