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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Couple having sex in front of window

462 replies

doremifaso · 31/08/2025 10:05

My children’s bedrooms looks out toward a house in the distance that has a bedroom in which looks like a converted loft. They have big floor to ceiling windows and NO curtains.
We were told by my neighbour once that he saw the occupiers there having sex in full view in front of the window - this was during an afternoon.
My husband also witnessed their act just last night when settling the kids to bed. It’s not hard to miss because their light is on and they’re BIG windows. My husband said he saw a lot of detail.
Not to sound prude but I’m really concerned about my children one day seeing them doing it. I have both sons and a daughter and don’t really want to expose them to sex in this way.

I’ve been told I don’t really have much right to complain because it’s within their own home but I am thinking of writing a letter to politely ask if they would be able to get some blinds or curtains installed.
If they ignore it, is there anything else I could do?
What would you do?

OP posts:
Notmyreality · 31/08/2025 12:27

SunnyDolly · 31/08/2025 12:21

How far ‘in the distance’ is their house, OP? Any chance they don’t realise they’re being seen?

Quite - this is still the fundamental question that has gone unanswered.
Imagine the police went around:
”Which house is it Ma’am?”
”That one over there”
”I’m sorry where?”
That one, in the distance”
“The one half a mile away?”
”Yes”
”Just let me get my binoculars…”

SerendipityJane · 31/08/2025 12:27

SunnyDolly · 31/08/2025 12:21

How far ‘in the distance’ is their house, OP? Any chance they don’t realise they’re being seen?

we await the reply.

Don't forget it's a converted loft, too. So at least on the upper storey, if not above that.

Daygloboo · 31/08/2025 12:28

Femtherapist · 31/08/2025 12:26

Absolutely. They could not be unaware.

Surely there is a legal remedy? Is it possible for OP to contact the local councillors?

I'd be very upset if my children ran the risk of witnessing live sex acts as they are putting on their pyjamas at night and I am quite forthright about sex education with my children. It doesn't sound like it missionary position sex, right? I think they are putting on a show and it is part of their sex life.

I just think there are sex clubs and other perfectly fine places to get involved in this kind of exhibitionism that isn't imposing on others.

Show quote history

Yeah and I'd be a bit worried meeting them on the street if they think its ok to do that with kids looking. What else are they up to. They sound like a couple of creeps.

amber763 · 31/08/2025 12:28

I'd knock their door and tell then your kids saw them.

Happyher · 31/08/2025 12:29

heldinadream · 31/08/2025 10:24

Light on and big windows?
It's deliberate. It's exhibitionism.
I'd be tempted to get the police to have a word.

And possibly indecent exposure

SerendipityJane · 31/08/2025 12:29

They may be mortified to discover they can be seen so clearly.

Somehow that seems unlikely ...

I wonder how many people have read this and thought to themselves there is no way they'd ever have sex with the lights on ? If at all.

250mlmax · 31/08/2025 12:30

I think rather than OP restricting the view from inside her own home, the onus really is on the couple to make sure they’re not having sex in plain view of their neighbours and their neighbours’ children.

I live in quite a built up area in close quarters with neighbouring houses and I have never seen my neighbours having sex. I can guarantee they have never seen me have sex either. It’s really not that difficult.

valentinka31 · 31/08/2025 12:30

DenizenOfAisleOfShame · 31/08/2025 10:48

Why not take advantage? You could charge voyeuristic men to sit in your house and wait for the action. £50 a head (!) would net a decent profit and still allow for you to offer a few cups of tea and a ginger snap while they’re waiting. No binoculars or other viewing aids allowed to be brought in: you rent those out for extra.

perfect haha

pretty good side hustle potential there

HereForTheFreeLunch · 31/08/2025 12:30

Lights on and big windows - of course they know what they doing. It is indecent exposure. Call 101 and have a chat.

MN is nuts sometimes! Couple having sex - fine keep the curtains open. But everyone else - shut your curtains, shut your eyes, look away, you may see the sexy couple. How do you know to shut your curtains unless you see them? Or OP should preemptively keep her curtains closed in case they are at it!. Hmm

Absentmindedsmile · 31/08/2025 12:30

I hope for their sake they have strong windows.

FluffySnugglyBlankets · 31/08/2025 12:31

It doesn't have to be a big drama. My conversation with the neighbours went like, "This is a bit awkward to raise but I was wondering if when you get busy with your GF during the day if you could shut the curtains? We can see everything right from the living room and there are young kids." Nod. Curtains drawn thereafter. No big deal in the end. Normal neighbourly relations resumed.

GlomOfNit · 31/08/2025 12:33

Personperson · 31/08/2025 10:17

Just close your curtains?

They can do what they want in their house. Your responsibility to make sure your children don't see.

No, they can't, not if it's classed as deliberate indecent exposure. I'm fairly sure some flashers have been charged with indecent exposure because they were flashing through their own windows. Intent is all.

Of course, it's going to be almost impossible to prove that this charming couple are doing it deliberately for the thrill/because they're exhibitionists/kink, but I'd put money on it being deliberate. And by doing so, they're making unwilling bystanders complicit in their kink and part of their fantasy, and not discriminating between adults and children who might see. Sex acts are private. It's not on to inflict them on others. We all have a reasonable expectation to look out of our windows and not be involved in someone else's sex life.

OP, I'd keep a diary. Don't make a thing of looking out for it, just note it if you catch sight. Talk to the police, try a community support officer. They may be able to have a friendly word. You'll learn a lot about the intent of this couple by whatever happens next.

Daygloboo · 31/08/2025 12:34

SerendipityJane · 31/08/2025 12:26

What a lot of people are clearly finding "shocking" is the failure of some posters (raises hand 👋) to organise virtual lynch mob based on some suspiciously vague (made more so by any subsequent clarifications). Thankfully it seems groupthink isn't quite here yet.

Also a lot of posters suggesting there needs to be more information aren't necessarily condoning the behaviour.

As a previous posted noted, this is AIBU which can be a rather boisterous playground for the delicate. I'm surprised someone hasn't said fuck off yet 😀

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Need more info ? . What part of two bollock naked dog humpers with floodlights and no curtains dont they get

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 31/08/2025 12:47

@doremifaso pretty sure I have read about men being charged by police for masturbating in front of their windows in view of people! surely that law would apply in this instance too? it is classed as a sex act in public view

BigDeepBreaths · 31/08/2025 12:52

A note advising that your birdwatch camera has picked up them having sex…but that you managed to intervene on this occasion before oblivious DC posted it to Tiktok…

Notmyreality · 31/08/2025 12:55

Daygloboo · 31/08/2025 12:34

Need more info ? . What part of two bollock naked dog humpers with floodlights and no curtains dont they get

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The distance involved is critical to make a proper evaluation. People (not least the police) would take a different view of events if it turn out the offending house was indeed a mile away.

MaidOfSteel · 31/08/2025 12:57

LoveItaly · 31/08/2025 10:25

Just because they are physically in their own home doesn’t make it acceptable to show the public what they are doing, and it sounds as though they are getting a thrill out of it. Huge windows, no curtains and leaving the lights on? Honestly, why are people’s standards so low these days that they think this is ok? It’s horrible for others to see, and especially children.
I would write to them first and tell them to get some bloody curtains!

I absolutely agree. It’s not in the privacy of their own home if it’s in front of a full height window with the lights on. I’m surprised people think this is acceptable.

ViolaChomp · 31/08/2025 12:59

Moveoverdarlin · 31/08/2025 10:23

My husband said he saw a lot of detail.

*LOL! Whilst clutching his binoculars and furiously wanking.

🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭

ACynicalDad · 31/08/2025 13:00

I wouldn’t want my kids to see that. I suspect if you drop them a note saying both us and the neighbours have seen you at it and my husband was in our young children’s bedroom and would really rather they didn’t see it could go both ways but the chances are very high that they would sort it out.

Frenzi · 31/08/2025 13:02

I would have thought this was indecent exposure and is a criminal offence. To have sex in a big window with the lights on is not accidental! I am no prude but I wouldn't want to see it and definitely not want my young children to either. I would have a word with the police.

For all those saying that they can do what they want in their own home and the OP should look away - would you feel the same if it was a man stood naked in the window masturbating in full view of your children?

SweetcornFritter · 31/08/2025 13:05

Notmyreality · 31/08/2025 12:55

The distance involved is critical to make a proper evaluation. People (not least the police) would take a different view of events if it turn out the offending house was indeed a mile away.

Edited
Show quote history

Obviously it’s not a mile away.

ForestStamp · 31/08/2025 13:07

I would not write a note or contact them directly in any way - if they're exhibitionists they might get off even more on being able to picture the exact people or children who might be seeing them having sex.

I'd either make any contact anonymous (and I'd focus on how they are soon going to be reported to the police, not on asking them to think about who might be seeing them - they don't care and they might even like that), or I'd go straight for the non-urgent police enquiry.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 31/08/2025 13:08

How old are your kids? If they are maybe 5 or 6 I would walk past the neighbours' house on your way everywhere and tell your kids to point and say really loudly, "Mummy, I saw that man's willy through the window!" really loudly the next time you pass them on the street.

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 31/08/2025 13:12

They need to turn the light off firstly