Couple having sex in front of window

[doremifaso]

My children’s bedrooms looks out toward a house in the distance that has a bedroom in which looks like a converted loft. They have big floor to ceiling windows and NO curtains.
We were told by my neighbour once that he saw the occupiers there having sex in full view in front of the window - this was during an afternoon.
My husband also witnessed their act just last night when settling the kids to bed. It’s not hard to miss because their light is on and they’re BIG windows. My husband said he saw a lot of detail.
Not to sound prude but I’m really concerned about my children one day seeing them doing it. I have both sons and a daughter and don’t really want to expose them to sex in this way.

I’ve been told I don’t really have much right to complain because it’s within their own home but I am thinking of writing a letter to politely ask if they would be able to get some blinds or curtains installed.
If they ignore it, is there anything else I could do?
What would you do?

Have a word with them about indecent exposure, flashing etc- they must be aware they have neighbours and dont like in a detached house in the middle of a forest.

Had the same thing with neighbours of ours. I was so shocked I nearly dropped my binoculars

Best comment 🤣

seriously though op, it’s not the end of the world. Your kids are likely to be more focussed on their own activities. Even if they did see, you could explain in a child friendly manner. these people are in their own home, although they do seem a bit exhibitionist to be doing this with gigantic visible windows there.

they are very unlikely to install curtains/blinds imo. It would be very expensive for a large/awkward window.

Posters are being deliberately disingenuous to try to appear "cool". It's a very weird aspect of this forum.

Agree. It was the same on the thread about the DH wanking in bed beside his wife.

If it’s a mile away, how would OP and her family be able to see clearly ? 🤦‍♀️Don’t be silly.
It’s clearly within eyeline and noticeable.
Some husbands/fathers would be round at that house like a flash sorting that particular issue out.

Of course, the benny hill type responses are all par for the course.

This is what I would do. x

I'd write a note saying they've been seen on more than one occasion by neighbours and that if my DC see them I will be reporting them to police. In fact scrap that, I think I'd just go straight to a police report. What's the point in turning it into a game for them. There's no way they aren't aware people can see them through a massive window.

A quick google suggests that people can be charged with indecent exposure even if they are in their own home, so I would suggest contacting the police on the non emergency number to see if they would send an officer round to have a quick word. The threat of prosecution if it happens again might be enough to stop them.

Just giving two extremes to make the point. I personally wouldn't call the house at the bottom of my garden 'a distance away' either. We don't know what the OP means

So next time you see it nip round and lean on their doorbell until they are interrupted

I had an elderly uncle that like to walk around with no clothes on. He got a warning letter (I think from the police - maybe the council). This was within his own home so anyone who reported him must’ve seen him through the window.

I really think this IS OP’s problem to solve, and window film is a quick, cheap, easy way to do it.

I'd be contacting the police for assistance. They know what they're doing.

Oh do write a letter but maybe go the opposite way saying you really enjoy watching them but maybe they need to lose a bit of weight as it's putting you off a bit.
If you can include something about his manhood being a bit small so needing to invest in some binoculars all the better

They are in a loft conversion, so at roof height, are they having sex standing up against the window or lying on a bed back from the window? If just lying on a bed in the room and this roof room is 'in the distance' I would imagine very few neighbours could see anything much at all.

I knew the cool posters would be along to state how it's absolutely fine for people to shag 'in the privacy of their own home!' 🙄

But it's not is it, because it's in a wide open window for all to see. Why do they think other people want to see them shagging? It's attention seeking and pathetic behaviour. And no-one should have to 'close their curtains' to avoid seeing it. What if you're in the garden. What if the children are in the garden?

It IS an offence what they are doing, and they CAN be reported for it. Drop them a letter @doremifaso asking them to stop it - written with ink and popped in an envelope, and make a copy of it, and if it carries on report them to the police. They are no better than people who indecently expose themselves to people in public. That is basically what they are doing.

A quick Google search brings up this...

Yes, you can report someone having sex in a public or visible open window in the UK as it could be considered a criminal offense such as public indecency or outraging public decency, and you should contact the police on 101 or Crimestoppers on 0800 555 111 to report it. If you or someone else is in immediate danger or needs help right away, call 999.

Why You Can Report It

Having sex in a public or visible location is a criminal offense in the UK, and could be classified as indecent exposure or outraging public decency. These offenses involve actions that are lewd, obscene, or disgusting in the presence of others. Even if the act is occurring in what seems like a private residence, if the window is open and the act is visible to the public, it could be considered a public act.

How to Report It

Call 101: for non-emergency incidents, or visit a police station.

Call 999: if there is an immediate danger or if the incident is happening now and you or someone else needs urgent help.

Contact Crimestoppers: on 0800 555 111 to report it anonymously.

Report online: to the police via their website, or through Crimestoppers.

What to Do at the Scene

Look away and move away: if you can.
Do not engage directly: with the person you see.
Consider taking a photo: from a safe distance if it is safe to do so.

There are a lot worse things kids could - and do - see.

It's hard to imagine that the couple don't know they are visible, but you could try to catch them in the street or drop a note through their door saying neutrally 'Just in case you don't realise, there is a really clear view into your bedroom from our children's bedroom window.' Then leave it to them. You can't make them put up curtains or use another room, but they might especially when the know that children are being affected.

Dear Neighbour,
Everyone in the area can see you shagging.
Including my young children.
Please get some blinds or curtains before i am forced to go to the police about this.
Thanks
All your neighbours xx

It's funny, but the first thing that sprang to mind on reading your post was that I'd rather children see something natural and normal like that, than get hold of Pornhub or something darker - although I think laws are tightening up on that. I've known people whose parents used to walk around naked in front of them. If you don't make something out of nothing, nothing will come out of something. Let them crack on.

That's your opinion, yes. It isn't mine. You do understand that there are different opinions?

A friend of mine was on the jury of a case where a man had been masturbating at home in his lounge. The main curtains were closed but a tiny side curtain had been left open (who knows if this was on purpose or not) and someone walking past saw and reported him. He got found guilty od indecent exposure even though he protested that he hadn't intended to be seen.

So, I am thinking that no, you just can't do what you want in your own home. I would suggest writing to them and if that doesn't work contact the police.

Passers by don't have curtains, OP does. She ( and her dh who enjoyed the floor show) need to close them.

It really isn't.
OP is not the one committing a potential indecent exposure offence. As soon as the exhibitionists are made aware that their activities are causing distress then action can be taken against them. The usual way of dealing with this is for the local police to have a quiet word. The OP could inform the exhibitionists if they want to but it's usually best left to the police for obvious reasons.