To send DD to year 7 in Mary Janes

[JulyBlue]

Are these shoes (below) acceptable for starting secondary school year 7?
DD has literally only just turned 11 years old a few weeks ago. She's so young still. And she loves these shoes for their comfort and she likes the style.
But will she get comments about them being babyish??
She has tried on 10 different pairs of school shoes - flat brogues, chunky brogues, chunky T bars, patent chunky T bars, DMs, boys smart trainer style school shoes and loafers.....and there has been something wrong with all of them - too stiff, too hard leather, too heavy, too narrow at the toes, rubbing at heels or rubbing below ankles, too uncomfortable....every pair, all 10 pairs. And these are all from retailers such as Clarks, Startrite, Next, M&S, DM, Schuh.
Then she put these on and they fit like a glove. They are soft, supportive, instantly ultra comfortable......she said "Ah mummy, these are perfect!".
BUT, she's also desperate to fit in with the other girls at her new secondary school and also doesn't want to be seen to be babyish in her style.
Who knew buying secondary school shoes was such a minefield!
Are these OK, or too young for year 7?
I hate even asking this question! If she'd been born a few weeks later she'd have been starting year 6 next week, not year 7, and I wouldn't even be questioning shoe style!

https://www.startriteshoes.com/products/samba-black-leather-girls-riptape-school-shoes?gl=165qkkhupMQ.._gs*MQ..&gclid=Cj0KCQjwn8XFBhCxARIsAMyH8Bun2_uMW-dpGRWcr6jSt1IwQz7QKgeD2N8Lxcg1R33vkzXVnID9qzIaAoVLEALw_wcB&gbraid=0AAAAAD7OCwCjV8g5116EIZCB6-hd1b2sF

Bizarrely it seems worse in more deprived areas, the kids care more about fashion labels.
None of the kids in my dc private school care what shoes/bag/coat you have.

Yes, quite right. I am living in the past! I got my first pair of grown up shoes about 13 years old. From Ravel they were.

Yes, I agree with this. When mine were in state school in a fairly deprived area it was far more of an issue than it is now we’ve moved them to an independent school.

Ah, the trauma of finding shoes that are comfortable, hard wearing and stylish all at once! I empathise - dd tries on literally every pair of shoes in every shop, often in two sizes, until she has the eureka moment!

I like them op and think they're fine for Y7. Dd opted for zip up boots in the end (which creates its own hazards with her preference for trainer socks 😫) And don't get me started on what will happen if we have another heat wave in the early autumn!

Mary Jane’s and ballerinas are super trendy so I can’t see it as a problem! xox

Dds school rules are similar to yours OP. I don't know why lots are replying they would be unheard of in their school and everyone wears trainers when you have clearly said trainers are not allowed. Dd is not allowed any sort of trainer, sports shoe or boot. They are also not allowed to wear any designer logo shoes such as the vivienne westwood slip ons that were popular a couple of years ago. Your dds shoes are pretty much what everyone wears so please don't stress. Dd alternates between geox casey and the DM mary janes which are similar but slightly chunkier. Don't worry at all. Year 7 a black backpack is fine as well. As they get a bit older the trends for bags get more noticeable. Dd is going into year 11 and they all seem to have goyard or longchamp pliage

I'm 36 and wear shoes like this.

Thank you!
I really like Geox Casey and bought them, but DD personally found them not soft enough or flexible enough for her. They looked good though, it was a shame to return them, but no point if she didn't get on with how they fit her.

I am not being rude.
I am saying that, for a 51 year old woman who works in a secondary school, to say:
"If I saw a Year 7 wear these at my school, my heart would sink for her" is a ridiculous thing to say.
Really?
You're actually saying that - as a grown woman - your heart would sink to see a just turned 11 year old wearing a pair of shoes like this at a school that bans any form of trainers? And when I've explained my DD had tried on all sorts of other styles but didn't get on with how any of them fit or felt?
And then you've called me clueless for considering purchasing them for her because she likes them and she wants to wear them?
It's not good that someone with your level of negative judgement about kids' appearances is working at a secondary school with kids.

I’m surprised that someone who works in a secondary school, with the workload and stress that entails, even has the headspace or energy to notice a year 7’s shows and form a judgement on them, other than whether they comply with the uniform policy.

They don't have a t-bar...

JMSA obviously hasn't RTFT and works in a school that does not have a strict uniform policy. And yes, she is the rude one not the OP. Im sure most kids would rather rock up to school in a pair of AF1s but for those with strict uniform policy most are wearing shoes like the OPs dd. The uniform policy means that there are no on trend shoes that kids can wear to school so no one cares whether someone else is wearing mary janes, brogues or loafers. They're all just school shoes that none of them would be seen dead in outside school.

Not only do they not have a Tbar but most schools have a uniform policy which means you cant choose the colour of your socks. Unsure what sort of school that poster works in

I'm a woman in my late forties who worked in a Secondary School and I'd be asking if they're comfy (because I've been considering buying them 😂). Seriously, having seen a thread involving Kickers and AF1s both banned where I worked, they are absolutely fine.

Agreed! DD's school don't allow the students to choose which sock colour would work best with their shoes.
For what it's worth, DD has to wear plain black ankle socks. White socks are not allowed, nor any other colour of socks. So the plain black shoes look pretty inconspicuous against the plain black socks. But I couldn't be bothered to say that to @JMSA.

I think it's also important to teach kids that people who judge them on their shoes don't make good friends. I'd teach your DD to just shrug and say they are comfy/do the job/are just shoes if anyone does bother to comment.

And regrettably, they'll be trashed in no time...

Wishing your DD all the best at her new school.

I think fine for year 7, I’m sure my dd wore similar at the start of year 7, then went in to kickers and DM shoes.

I love that style

currently at our school it’s low kickers

Agreed. TBH @JMSA ’s comments made me think that she works at a school where they don’t appear to do much to combat bullying, if her heart would sink at the sight of a girl wearing perfectly normal shoes.

My daughter (about to be year 10) learnt the hard way last year that fashion doesn't always = comfort. Wanted slip on (lazy - hates laces) , so got chunky brogues from a "fashionable" shoe shop. Terrible blisters from the 30min walk each way, 3 weeks in, back to "proper" shoe shop for fitted lace ups. The brogues are handy for weekend stuff. This year, she's gone for chunky mary janes - velcro (she's delighted), but disguised as a buckle. Those look totally acceptable and I've seen lots of year 7/8 wearing similar.

Just asked my 18yo, who reckoned "shoes don't matter" when it comes to standing out. Bag is more important, but less about bullying and more about your tribe.

Our school does. As long as plain black and leather, or leather look (i.e no suede or the mesh type trainers), trainers are fine. My boys have always had af1s for school which is great because they're comfy and last until outgrown.

i facetimed with my grand daughter today and asked her about shoes, she showed me some chunky solid black slip on loafer style shoes (not attractive at all imho) next i asked if her uniform fit, she laughed and said yes but could easily spot all the year 7's as the lengths were too long. my last question was what she liked about her new school; "no one judged, everyone was happy and kind".
no matter the shoes or school uniform fit! i hope everyone has a happy and kind student cohort.

I think it is something that parents worry about more than the kids tbh.

Sadly my daughters school requests leather sensible shoes and a blazer for the start of term and by day 3 they seem to forget all about it and they are all wearing skirts the size of postage stamps. I have given up this year and she is going in wearing trainer style ones from day one as its a waste of money and shoes! Thankfully the blazer still fits from year 8.