To send DD to year 7 in Mary Janes

[JulyBlue]

Are these shoes (below) acceptable for starting secondary school year 7?
DD has literally only just turned 11 years old a few weeks ago. She's so young still. And she loves these shoes for their comfort and she likes the style.
But will she get comments about them being babyish??
She has tried on 10 different pairs of school shoes - flat brogues, chunky brogues, chunky T bars, patent chunky T bars, DMs, boys smart trainer style school shoes and loafers.....and there has been something wrong with all of them - too stiff, too hard leather, too heavy, too narrow at the toes, rubbing at heels or rubbing below ankles, too uncomfortable....every pair, all 10 pairs. And these are all from retailers such as Clarks, Startrite, Next, M&S, DM, Schuh.
Then she put these on and they fit like a glove. They are soft, supportive, instantly ultra comfortable......she said "Ah mummy, these are perfect!".
BUT, she's also desperate to fit in with the other girls at her new secondary school and also doesn't want to be seen to be babyish in her style.
Who knew buying secondary school shoes was such a minefield!
Are these OK, or too young for year 7?
I hate even asking this question! If she'd been born a few weeks later she'd have been starting year 6 next week, not year 7, and I wouldn't even be questioning shoe style!

https://www.startriteshoes.com/products/samba-black-leather-girls-riptape-school-shoes?gl=165qkkhupMQ.._gs*MQ..&gclid=Cj0KCQjwn8XFBhCxARIsAMyH8Bun2_uMW-dpGRWcr6jSt1IwQz7QKgeD2N8Lxcg1R33vkzXVnID9qzIaAoVLEALw_wcB&gbraid=0AAAAAD7OCwCjV8g5116EIZCB6-hd1b2sF

Honestly I think it demonstrates where some kids get their bullying ways from.

really? bit oversensitive!

nobody was directly critical OF your child - nobody insulted her and suggested she was stupid or immature. Your post was specifically concerned about being bullied for wearing the wrong thing - if you accept that is (unfortunately) a possibility, then why is the concept of being bullied for saying the wrong thing so insulting?

Where I live someone over 7 or so referring to their mummy would be cause for mockery, so it would be kinder to explain to an 11 year old not to say it in front of peers (as you've explained your child doesn't anyway). In other areas (e.g. my posher friends still say mummy in their 30s/Irish friends use 'mammy') it would be completely fine.

I see it along the lines of telling DC about father Christmas - I'm always amazed that there are kids that even needs to be explained before they start secondary but it's one of those things where it's better to be cruel to be kind - in that even if it upsets them it's better an adult tell them calmly when they have chance to process it than another child makes fun of them.

I'm a secondary teacher too and these are fine for Y7. I work in a really rough area and it's a tough school, but for Y7 they're fine.

I agree. It really does.

Idk op. Mine wouldn’t wear them but I think it’s very school dependent. They are pretty plain so she should get away with them. Dd is going into y7 and is determined to have loafers. Very difficult to get a good fit on them. I’m not convinced she’ll be comfortable. The other stress is bags. They all seem to be taking impractical tote/ handbags. Minefield

Thank you!

OMG bags!!! That's a whole other thread!😅
Re loafers, I like them and DD has tried a few pairs on but didn't get on with the fit of them. Too much heel slipping for her liking. And if we went down half a size to stop the heel slipping then she said her toes felt too boxed in. So we increased the width and then the whole shoe was too slippy underneath the ankle. So we went back to her original size/width and then we had the slipping heel again. The shop assistant said "Let's give up on loafers".😂

@JulyBlue yes we had same issues. We have loafers now but I will put money on the fact she will come home on day 1 saying they hurt. I would be very interested in a bag thread! I currently have 3 different ones in my virtual baskets

Shall we start a year 7 bag thread?!
Could be helpful or could be a minefield 😂
Don't know if I'm brave enough to start one by saying I've bought DD an Eastpack backpack, which she 100% needs as she is going to be carrying a laptop round with her all day long. Older DS has already stepped in to tell her all the girls at this school wear shoulder bags, none wear backpacks apparently. Cue panic stricken look from DD.🙄

Might as well. I’ll do one and put the link here

www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5401459-y7-starters-bags

Our school also sent out lists of banned shoes, and trainers are most definitely not allowed and they would put pupils in isolation until they had the right footwear. They were 100% strict on it.

DD is in college now, but a lot of girls wore the Clarks Scala version of those shoes when she was in Y7, including her. She was in Clarks until she left, although did graduate to shoes with laces at some point in Y8/Y9.

She had wide feet, and couldn't tie laces and needed straps to hold her shoes on. (Dyspraxic before people start rubbishing her for not tying laces in Y7).

It seems to be different times to the 80's when I was bullied for wearing Clarks when everyone else was in fashion shoes from Freeman Hardy & Willis etc.

Your uniform regulations sound identical to ours! (Right down to knee length kilt).

Last year, DD wore trainers (plain black) one day as there was an issue with her shoes and I couldn't replace her shoes at 7.30 in the morning, and she got given school spares to wear.

I've always worn mary janes from one brand or other, literally most of my life, nobody has ever cared. The chunky ones are always fashionable, I really wouldn't work. We should be working on building kids up to not care about what others think.

Definitely. I mean fair enough don’t allow high heels or wellies but some of the rules are just plain ridiculous with no actual reason than someone has made it up!

Clarks do a chunky Mary Jane with a buckle. They are in the teen/older child school range.

Obviously branded shoes are banned at DDs school to stop parents being pressured into buying ridiculously priced items like Air Force 1s which Google shows can be over £100.

It would be fine at the secondary here, but Smiggle bags are still pretty common with year 7s/8s but from what I understand this would be social suicide at some secondaries.
It’s so school dependent…. Nobody can give you a definitive answer really. Ones with butterflies / hearts I think would be a no at any secondary, this ones are definitely school dependent. Sorry, that’s not helpful.
edited to add: if you do get them, wear with skirts, it’s quite a primary look to wear with trousers

To be fair though they can also wear them outside school and they last for a full year. If you’re smaller than a size 6 they are also only around 60. So for some parents they are a fairly cost effective option if they can’t afford multiple pairs of shoes.

Year 7 deffo NO backpacks in my dds school! Social suicide on a scale you couldn't imagine!!
Seems to be the latest River Island offering in black. How they squash their pe kit in and books never fails to surprise me!

Its about 50:50 on totes vs backpacks gor first at DDs school. It really is area dependent.

But they also need PE shoes, which can get muddy. So then couldn't be worn the rest if the day.
Their PE trainers are allowed to be branded as they tend to be more suitable for sport.

We are allowed them but we’ve got the Nike court borough ones for £30! Looks exactly the same minus a tiny metal tag. Which none of them care about anyway but if you are that desperate you can order them on Etsy 🤣

Really? My girls are 11 and 15 and still always call me mummy. I love it.

My daughter wears the same ones.