To send DD to year 7 in Mary Janes

[JulyBlue]

Are these shoes (below) acceptable for starting secondary school year 7?
DD has literally only just turned 11 years old a few weeks ago. She's so young still. And she loves these shoes for their comfort and she likes the style.
But will she get comments about them being babyish??
She has tried on 10 different pairs of school shoes - flat brogues, chunky brogues, chunky T bars, patent chunky T bars, DMs, boys smart trainer style school shoes and loafers.....and there has been something wrong with all of them - too stiff, too hard leather, too heavy, too narrow at the toes, rubbing at heels or rubbing below ankles, too uncomfortable....every pair, all 10 pairs. And these are all from retailers such as Clarks, Startrite, Next, M&S, DM, Schuh.
Then she put these on and they fit like a glove. They are soft, supportive, instantly ultra comfortable......she said "Ah mummy, these are perfect!".
BUT, she's also desperate to fit in with the other girls at her new secondary school and also doesn't want to be seen to be babyish in her style.
Who knew buying secondary school shoes was such a minefield!
Are these OK, or too young for year 7?
I hate even asking this question! If she'd been born a few weeks later she'd have been starting year 6 next week, not year 7, and I wouldn't even be questioning shoe style!

https://www.startriteshoes.com/products/samba-black-leather-girls-riptape-school-shoes?gl=165qkkhupMQ.._gs*MQ..&gclid=Cj0KCQjwn8XFBhCxARIsAMyH8Bun2_uMW-dpGRWcr6jSt1IwQz7QKgeD2N8Lxcg1R33vkzXVnID9qzIaAoVLEALw_wcB&gbraid=0AAAAAD7OCwCjV8g5116EIZCB6-hd1b2sF

Thank you for your helpful post.🙂

They can have bags, coats and PE trainers with any branding, any logos and any colour they like.
It's only the school shoes that are so strict.

I agree the chunkier styles look far more fashionable. If I was choosing I'd go for the chunky style. I ordered a few chunky styles and they look really good. But DD couldn't stand how stiff and unflexible they all were. Even though I'd bought them from decent (expensive) retailers.
That's how we ended up with the ones I've posted, after having gone through lots of different styles and versions and different retailers of chunky mary janes, chunky t bars and chunky loafers!
These are the ones that she put on and said they were instantly ultra comfortable, soft, flexible, and she likes the style.

These are from StartRite which are online only, I believe.
Next and M&S are both selling the same pair on their school shoes section online.
They are called Samba.
StartRite do have an online measuring tool on their website - if you go to their page showing this shoe, you'll see an orange box which links to measuring shoe size.
But I got DD's feet measured in store at Clarks, and ordered the same size in these. They fit the same as the Clarks shoes in the same size.
Good luck shoe hunting today!

Wow, rude as well as clueless.
I hope your daughter enjoys her new shoes.

Totally normal in my area. Not strange, just different surely.

My 15 year old calls me mummy and my friend was talking to her 22 year old son yesterday and referred to Daddy

This post has unlocked memories for me!!

I wore black Mary Jane Doc Martens in highschool (the one with a t-bar). I would have been about 15 years old. Another girl from my year wore a brown pair of Doc Marten Mary Janes (the traditional Mary Janes.

I also owned a pair of Doc Marten loafers at that time as well as multiple pairs of Doc Marten boots.

This was the 90’s in Australia and everyone wore Doc Marten boots (or the fake Doc Martens if their parents couldn’t afford them).

I worked throughout highschool so I had disposable income to buy multiple pairs of these shoes as they were expensive. Back then they were $189+ for a pair of the boots (which was a lot as there was a recession).

I also bought a high heel version of Mary Janes when I was 17.

Given that the 90’s are back it makes sense that girls are wearing these shoes again.

My kids wear trainers for school and just wear the same ones for PE as well.

Why is there so much appearance-based bullying apparently going on in many schools? 'Social suicide' for wearing some shoes?

Such a funny question to my ears as when I was at school (before the dinosaurs roamed the earth) we HAD to wear Mary Janes! (with knee high white socks).

Unfortunately it was the same when I was in secondary in the early 80s. It was never really dealt with back then, whereas in my school we take bullying very seriously. I'm not saying it doesn't happen because it absolutely does, but it's dealt with. I know not all schools are like that though.

@DiaryofaProvincialLady I still call my mother Mummy and I am 62.

I think they are too young looking and wouldn’t let my DD who is going into yr 7 wear them. I’m not even keen on my yr 10 wearing patent shoes now.

Start Rite is for lower primary apart from their brogues which can be suitable in high school.

So many panicky year 7 parents on Mumsnet recently. Every decision is a big problem and ALL of them are so anxious.

I can understand if the kids are Sen and perhaps their parents are also neuro divergent. Otherwise it all sounds like a huge, messy fuss and dramatic family behaviour.

Ugh. I hate schools that do this. It's especially galling when they say it's to 'level the field', so to speak, while at the same time requiring £50 logoedblazers and expensive logoed PE kit, shirts, ties, etc.

So glad we're out of uniforms finally this year as youngest starts Sixth Form!

DD is about to start year 7, she is going in similar shoes as she likes them. I think they're still young when they start secondary school. I think other girls in her year will be in similar.

My daughter is going into Year 7 and also has the same style of shoe as she feels more comfortable in them. She did look at some loafers but said they felt they were going to fall off when she tried them on. She is quite a young Year 7 having only just turned 11 a few weeks ago. Hopefully she won't have any issues with bullying from her peers.

If she isn't a fan of the chunky T-bar styles then I think these are fine. They are very plain.

I wanted to buy a pair of Mary Janes for myself and got the Clarks kids ones with the patent toe after realising they are a dupe of some luxury brand! I've seen Y11s wearing the same ones. I've seen Y7 and Y8 wearing these ones.

Those shoes would be social suicide in year 7 here. Velcro would be an absolutely no no and they style would be ridiculed. Clearly not all areas or schools are the same though. Fortunately, I've got a kid who marches to her own beat and couldn't care less what others think about her shoes but not every kid is like that.

My daughter has something very similar and she's going into Year 9. She's chosen the exact same shoe for the third year in a row. It's an all girls school and no-one really seems to care very much about footwear.

Good luck OP! As a child I had nightmares about school shoes as I had orthopedic issues and had to wear Kickers for ankle support. Ironically they were really unfashionable back then. DD, on the other hand, has never worn girls shoes - her school doesn't allow skirts, and she has always preferred boys lace-ups to the girls equivalent. Luckily she has a great group of friends who are not hung up on what they wear. If she did wear a skirt, I imagine she'd be happy with the ones you have.

Mary Jane’s popular here as well although chunkier ones generally.
I really can’t see a pair of school shoes like this in year 7 being cause for getting picked on however Trainers would be looked at for PE but can’t go wrong with a pair of Nikes really.
Wearing Skechers you might as well take up home schooling the ridiculing would be so bad.

Luckily in dc’s school it’s a school standard issue backpack no alternatives but coats is where they go insane. Canada gooses/Moncler aplenty although in this area they’re generally either fakes or bought with drug money. These kids don’t go ski-ing. I sound jaded I know I’ve just lived through 8 years of teens at this school and hear fellow parents with same struggles!

My 11yo (almost 12) starts high school this week too. She wanted these exact shoes OP - but they aren't available in her size. She's gone for Geox mary janes which are a bit chunkier. She did try slip on chunky loafers first as she reckoned lots of girls in y6 and high school wear these, but they didn't fit her well at all.

It's hard because we want to help ease them into high school without making them feel they have to follow all arbitrary "fashion" rules rather than their own preference...

I figure if there's a huge issue with the shoes we will deal with it but the most important thing is feeling comfortable and having some tricks up your sleeve to deal with negative comments and bullying.

seems a bit fussy. Surely kids and some parents from deprived areas would not care about labels!