Currently in Turkey, met a guy…

[theoneortwo]

And I know they say ‘people come along when you least expect it’ but I never ever thought this would happen to me.

im 29, British, recently I came out of a long term relationship and I am currently on holiday with my family.

I’ve met a lovely Turkish man whilst here. Completely unexpectedly, he was working on one of the tours we went on 4 days ago.

I know it sounds silly and cliche, but as soon as I saw him it’s like I just knew I needed to get to know him. We didn’t speak much on the trip itself since he was obviously busy working - but after when he was showing us the photos he’d taken, we swapped numbers and have been chatting ever since.

He has asked to take me for dinner tomorrow evening (locally in the resort town we are staying in) my mum is saying go for it, but my dad seems to have reservations and is telling me not to be so stupid and naive..

This man hasn’t shown me any red flags or given me reason to distrust him.

Im kind of in the mindset that I’m here on holiday, it’s probably not going to progress.. so let’s see what happens?

has anybody else ever been in this situation, meeting a guy abroad / getting to know somebody from a different country?

I know there are huge complex loopholes and issues IF we did get to know each other more and develop a relationship - due to distance etc.

would love to know thoughts please, as I’m really in two minds.

Thank you ☺️

I don’t want to be horrible, but three years is way too soon to say “gotcha”. A lot of men get more extreme in their cultural views as they age (I’ve seen this happen to a close family member- her marriage lasted 15 years). I wouldn’t recommend a marriage of two very different cultures to anyone, even if the young man describes himself as modern and feminist (my former BIL drank, claimed to not believe in god and thought women were equal- in his 40’s he totally changed his tune).

My advice to you- don’t become financially dependant on this man or isolated in his country.

posters are not liking being proved wrong op, it just gets worse

It doesnt matter why or how it ended, the point remains that 3 years is not long enough to say "its all worked out great".

20-30 years- sure. But your relationship hasnt yet stood the test of time and that is the point.

TBH. I’m glad the majority of you got a kick from the thread. The behaviours shown here is exactly what we experienced throughout the early stages of our relationship - alas alluding to the fact that indeed viewpoints and racism haven’t changed.

Anyway - enjoy!

Im off! 👋🏽

Very well played OP.

So much advice on MN is just judgmental prejudice based on stereotypes (very frequently classist, racist or both) wrapped in a disguise of "concern" from "experienced wise women". You completely exposed them.

The first few pages are disgusting - poster after poster telling you that all Turkish men are untrustworthy scammers who just want a passport (and that you, as a young woman, are simply too stupid to realise that). Obviously all their experience in reading lurid tabloid stories about romance scammers makes them substantially wiser than you.

It's ironic because their narrow-mindedness just reveals their inexperience - they've obviously never interacted with Turkish people in any meaningful way. Oddly enough Turkish men can be educated, in no need of a British passport, and as kind and loving as British men.

Posters don’t like being deceived by a smug ‘fiction’ writer.

Why do this? There are plenty of women looking for advice and you just came here to wind people up. People who were concerned.

Just a holiday no strings attached romance = fine. Anything beyond that = red flags.

Before you flounce, please get some legal advice with those visas asap OP. You're on rocky ground

Because you specifically utilised the AIBU which is meant to help women going through a hard time to play a stupid practical joke on people who were trying to help you, many of them may actually be struggling in real life.
Your behaviour is despicable.

lol. The self-congratulatory attitude of you. Plot twist. 🤣

Howling!
Racist poster complains about being tricked to reveal they're racist KLAXON

Where you a smug time waster before you met him, or is that a recent addition?

You are so blissfully happy, you have nothing better to do than to make things up, to wind up a group of strangers?

You are also minimising the experience of many women who do get taken in, used, and ripped off, by men who deliberately target single British women. Your one-off story, is not typical of people experiences, and just because it’s worked out for you (for now), let’s hope this doesn’t influence other women into letting thier guard down.

In 3 years you have met, married, had 1 baby, second on the way (so you must have got preggers pretty quick), despite living apart for the first year, he’s got a degree, a visa, permission to work over here, and you live 6 months in each country (what an understanding workplace)

Either you own a Tardis, or there is something very odd about these dates.

I think this is fine as long as you treat it at face value, a holiday romance. You mention that you are recently out of a long term relationship so getting too involved would be a rebound and you are more than likely not in the right place for a new relationship . Also, just be very wary if he starts asking for money.

Don't bother. We wouldn't believe you anyway.
Man had a lucky escape anyway.

I have some friends who regularly travel to Turkey, and apparently it’s really common for the men who work there to have flings with tourists. I would be very surprised if you’re the first one he has shown an interest in

It sounds like your lots of patience is waring thin…

The fact he asked your dad when you are 29 is a red flag for me.

He can't be a decent guy if he asked your dad's permission, your dad said no and he cracks on anyway. That means the request of permission was just performative.

Yes :) it was a massive storyline! So much so that when I told my workmates I had met a Turkish man on holiday all those years ago they jokingly started calling me Deirdre. Funnily enough I bumped into one of them in town a year or so ago,
when I was with my 19 year old son and she shouted 'Deirdre!!! How's it going ?' He thought she'd just got my name wrong...took quite a lot of explaining 🙈

it wasnt the dad's permission to give

Beware the local tour guide/barman 😄

Thank goodness he doesn’t look like that 🤣

@theoneortwo I was about to say just go to dinner, presumably it'll be in a public place, have your wits about you and see for yourself what the deal is. You might have an amazing time, or you might get red flags, just go and decide for yourself.

Glad to see the plot twist!
The resulting toys out of pram of the racist posters is very amusing.

Are your organs all intact OP? Have you checked? What about your passport?

What happened to that PP who was all "hahahaha!!!" about him being Kurdish and used a bunch of laughing emojis as being Kurdish is apparently hilarious?