Currently in Turkey, met a guy…

[theoneortwo]

And I know they say ‘people come along when you least expect it’ but I never ever thought this would happen to me.

im 29, British, recently I came out of a long term relationship and I am currently on holiday with my family.

I’ve met a lovely Turkish man whilst here. Completely unexpectedly, he was working on one of the tours we went on 4 days ago.

I know it sounds silly and cliche, but as soon as I saw him it’s like I just knew I needed to get to know him. We didn’t speak much on the trip itself since he was obviously busy working - but after when he was showing us the photos he’d taken, we swapped numbers and have been chatting ever since.

He has asked to take me for dinner tomorrow evening (locally in the resort town we are staying in) my mum is saying go for it, but my dad seems to have reservations and is telling me not to be so stupid and naive..

This man hasn’t shown me any red flags or given me reason to distrust him.

Im kind of in the mindset that I’m here on holiday, it’s probably not going to progress.. so let’s see what happens?

has anybody else ever been in this situation, meeting a guy abroad / getting to know somebody from a different country?

I know there are huge complex loopholes and issues IF we did get to know each other more and develop a relationship - due to distance etc.

would love to know thoughts please, as I’m really in two minds.

Thank you ☺️

Er, this.

I'm not sure how you can proclaim its all worked out for you when you'v only been together 3 years!!

You were with your ex husband for double that length of time and still ended up divorced.

I dont this is quite the "gotcha" you thought it would be......

For what it's worth I am from an ethnic minority and I am not white but was born & raised here. I still stand by what I posted last night in response to your original disingenuous post. A lot of these men target foreign women because they can't have sex with their own women until they are married. Plus, the prospects in their own countries aren't always good so they want to move abroad. A white foreign woman will provide that passport out.

posters will not back down op

Weridest thread I’ve read for long time.

Yes and it would have been full of positivity and not this haha got you all!

I would have liked to have heard how his family felt, the hurdles the OP had to go through, what the future holds, but now I'm not interested because I've been duped

Yes, this the red flag of troubles lurking, to surface in the years ahead.

Jesus, haven’t you had your quota of attention yet?

Ah just read your update! Im v happy for you O.P!!!!!
I was one of your supporters!

This doesn't make any sense.

Again - the only bit of info you have is (gasp) his nationality and that he's asked her out to dinner. The hysteria is real in this thread. He could be anything from indeed a conman, to a normal person wanting a fling, to (cringe) her soul mate (if this was a movie). But the certainty with which you're all convinced he's a conman literally basing it solely on his nationality, is a bit vomit inducing.

Friend of a friend spent a couple of years doing long distance with a Turkish guy she met on holiday, eventually moving there and only coming home every 3 months when her visas ran out, then immediately travelling back again to re-enter. He wasn't after a UK visa and when they got married they both lived in Turkey. At which point he expected her to stop work because she was now a wife, and her role became cooking, cleaning and keeping his Mother (who couldn't speak English) company. They divorced and she stayed there. She's since been divorced again from another Turkish man after he wouldn't pay for medical treatment when she had an ectopic pregnancy, and is on her 3rd relationship with a Turk. How the penny hasn't dropped I have no idea.

However, if you're just happy to wined and dined a bit and are happy with a holiday romance then go for it!! But have realistic expectations and open eyes. X

What a pathetic 'reveal'

Quite frankly, you've proved the point a lot of people are making.

You did rush into the relationship, having a child (which I suspect was very high on your agenda ) , and are now smugly enjoying your new life.

The fact remains a huge percentage of relationships that start like yours end up being awful and devastating emotionally and financially for the woman involved, and it's highly disingenuous to accuse people of being racist for pointing this out.

I hope for your sakes that you defy the odds and you last the distance, but there is something quite unsettling over the need for you to start this 'gotcha' thread.

The OP sounds utterly, utterly insufferable and really rather smug
what a ghastly individual.

Are you seriously bored or something ?

How is it that I am smug - only because it worked for us and we proved so many people wrong?

Yes, definitely deceitful and OPs smugness is vomit inducing. Should we not give it anymore attention with the AMA?

OP for me it’s nothing to do with where he’s from or the cliche for marrying for a passport etc.

In fact most of these men are in relationships and just have sex with the tourists - that’s not a race or culture thing, it happens in every touristy place, even Cornwall.
My friend did the same with an Australian guy and would even fly out there regularly afterwards, until she found out there was at least 5 other women doing the same.

I have male friends who’ve gone to work abroad for the summer because one of the perks is shagging the women on holiday because they’re easier to get when they’re on holiday.
It sounds harsh but it’s true.

You are the perfect example and why posters are not giving you the answers you want to hear.

You acted very easy and sounded desperate for a relationship.
You’d met this man 4 days ago and instead of a holiday fling, you were already thinking about the future.
You even compared it to friends who’s got married and had kids - that’s not normal for someone you met 4 days ago.

You wouldn’t have done that in back at home with someone you met in tesco.

Women like you push the narrative of these men using women for passports etc because it is not normal to behave this way.
You acted desperate because like so many other women, you wanted to find love on holiday and you forced it to happen.

I agree.

Maybe have a bit of sympathy for all the people who hook up with someone from another country and it really doesn't work out.
You are beginning to sound a bit ridiculous now

You've not 'proved' anything.

Also agree.

But you havent proved people wrong - your first marriage lasted longer than 3 years and still ended in divorce didnt it?

Is that a very common Kurdish name? What's it short for?

I’ve not mentioned why it ended in divorce. That is not something I will disclose here.

Oh I see, you are basically either a liar or a fantasist.
You have serious mental health issues.

I agree. Just not interested now because of how the OP was on this thread