Currently in Turkey, met a guy…

[theoneortwo]

And I know they say ‘people come along when you least expect it’ but I never ever thought this would happen to me.

im 29, British, recently I came out of a long term relationship and I am currently on holiday with my family.

I’ve met a lovely Turkish man whilst here. Completely unexpectedly, he was working on one of the tours we went on 4 days ago.

I know it sounds silly and cliche, but as soon as I saw him it’s like I just knew I needed to get to know him. We didn’t speak much on the trip itself since he was obviously busy working - but after when he was showing us the photos he’d taken, we swapped numbers and have been chatting ever since.

He has asked to take me for dinner tomorrow evening (locally in the resort town we are staying in) my mum is saying go for it, but my dad seems to have reservations and is telling me not to be so stupid and naive..

This man hasn’t shown me any red flags or given me reason to distrust him.

Im kind of in the mindset that I’m here on holiday, it’s probably not going to progress.. so let’s see what happens?

has anybody else ever been in this situation, meeting a guy abroad / getting to know somebody from a different country?

I know there are huge complex loopholes and issues IF we did get to know each other more and develop a relationship - due to distance etc.

would love to know thoughts please, as I’m really in two minds.

Thank you ☺️

I agree.

Yes, he can travel for holidays and visits. But he must live in the UK. He won't be able to renew if he has spent 6 months of each year in turkey.

You were only with your ex husband for 6 years.

Now you're with your second husband with 2 kids after just 3 years.

I guess everyone's different but I'd say you have a tendency to move very fast

I knew a girl who met a barman in Turkey. We thought what an idiot, like most of the posters here! However many years later they're happily married with 2 kids, so yes it can happen!

My Timing makes perfect sense as it’s the truth.

As said upthread, he was studying in Turkey alongside his part time tourism job. If funds are what’s important here, his education was funded by his aunt. He was enrolled and already studying when we met, hence we did long distance for a period of time whilst he finished and completed.

He works in a hybrid remote role in a Turkish firm.

Yes. Pretty sure this is against the guidelines here.

What was the point of this post? So it worked out for you, whoopdiedoo, but you of all people should know why the stereotype exists and the behaviour that goes on in the resorts.

My god, why would a person who is happy and has such an amazing life would need to get validation on MN?

Yes.

Right. So, after meeting you, he went to university in Turkey?
Did he do this using his savings?

I appear to be in the minority from a quick scan of the thread.

I think O.P you should go for dinner if you want to. Life is too short. You are not an idiot who is going to get taken for a ride I am sure.
And God forbid, imagine if some Kurdish people are normal people without an agenda. Believe me, I am the first to roll my eyes at the classic older woman being taken for a ride and losing her life savings for young Stavros fifty years younger who said how beautiful she was but this is not that situation. Sounds like two young people who have an attraction. He asked her out for dinner. No big deal. Asking her parents permission may seem a bit cringey but her parents were there and perhaps he was just being polite etc. I'm sure he wouldn't have phoned up her parents to ask! Do what you want O.P! And best of luck x

Turkey is not in the EU.

yeah......either its a charm offensive or he genuinely believes that women have no agency. either was a red flag.

I find it quite deceitful actually.

Obviously posters would be reticent given the number of failed holiday romances.

OP you would have been better off with an AMA than this smug gotcha

Well I really enjoyed your post and yes it is a good example of how things can work out, I don’t know why people seem angry about it.
It was good to read of a happy ending!

Please see previous replies. He was studying alongside his job. He was studying way before he met me.

Right. You've answered my question. So his aunt paid for university, he works as an accountant remotely and you split your time between the UK and Turkey?
Is that right?

Yeah, that's not accurate. Your spouse visa comes up for renewal every 2 and a half years-ish and you would not be able to renew if you had spent half that time abroad.

He asked your mum and dad.....oh he's good at this, he really is.

Clearly he was 🤣🤣🤣

To be fair, there are a lot of romance scammers, we've all read about them.
The OP did seem a bit naive, it was just people mostly urging caution.

That's a good point. An AMA might have been quite interesting!

I don't think they've reached renewal yet. They might be in for a nasty shock when their residency and finances don't stack up. And now there's 2 kids... this is how women get stuck abroad. Very foolish.

Was about to say go for dinner, then read your update!

Pleased it worked out for you. We have a number of Kurdish friends in the UK.

But IMHO not a good idea to be deceptive in posts. MN should be a trusting place.

Have only read your posts, but seems lots of people are prejudiced and closed-minded. IMHO it’s their loss. I wonder how they’d feel to hear people making assumptions about them due to misplaced tropes about their nationality or culture.

I would also say that three years is nothing - wait until is more like 10 and until he gets his British Passport.

So you basically married someone you known for a few months and immediately had kids with him. Risky.