Currently in Turkey, met a guy…

[theoneortwo]

And I know they say ‘people come along when you least expect it’ but I never ever thought this would happen to me.

im 29, British, recently I came out of a long term relationship and I am currently on holiday with my family.

I’ve met a lovely Turkish man whilst here. Completely unexpectedly, he was working on one of the tours we went on 4 days ago.

I know it sounds silly and cliche, but as soon as I saw him it’s like I just knew I needed to get to know him. We didn’t speak much on the trip itself since he was obviously busy working - but after when he was showing us the photos he’d taken, we swapped numbers and have been chatting ever since.

He has asked to take me for dinner tomorrow evening (locally in the resort town we are staying in) my mum is saying go for it, but my dad seems to have reservations and is telling me not to be so stupid and naive..

This man hasn’t shown me any red flags or given me reason to distrust him.

Im kind of in the mindset that I’m here on holiday, it’s probably not going to progress.. so let’s see what happens?

has anybody else ever been in this situation, meeting a guy abroad / getting to know somebody from a different country?

I know there are huge complex loopholes and issues IF we did get to know each other more and develop a relationship - due to distance etc.

would love to know thoughts please, as I’m really in two minds.

Thank you ☺️

Don't get complacent OP, there's still time for him to whip your liver out!

Just seen your update! But if I'd married every guy who professed undying love for me in Thailand, Mexico, Turkey, Morocco, Algiers, etc I'd be on metropole as an international super bigamist!

I'm glad it worked out for you though. I still think women should view these romances with caution as there are plenty who are ripped off either emotionally, economically, or for the sake of gaining a passport.

Not all men (and women) are genuine.

I've been with mine for 30 years. He is from another country but we met in the UK when he was on a student visa. We married relatively quickly and people who didn't know us judged us. People who knew us though knew it was right for us.
I agree it was way too easy to get citizenship 23 years ago when my DH went for his, but I also feel it's prohibitively hard now.

Love a love story. So glad you are both happy and have your little family.

So. You met 3 years ago, were long distance for a year, then he came to the UK.
In the 2 years since he arrived, you got married, he got a degree,works for an accountancy firm and you have a one year old child and another on the way? He did well for a Kurdish Turkish man to get a degree in the UK and a good job so quickly.
Good work!

Ooh then can you confirm you WERE ovulating?

Also how do you manage schooling living across two countries?

I think you should do a AMA

Have you seen 90 day finance op? It may have worked for you but it doesn't for a LOT of people.

Not forgetting the six months of the year they now live in the sun. Excellent work!

Their wives and children are all in the EU, in France and Germany - I've gone around for tea and met them.
It was their parents who came over in the 90s when they were children / teenagers (I think there was political unrest then ? Not sure, maybe someone else will know).

Their children now were all born in the EU and go to local schools.
They go back fairly regularly to visit family in Turkey. I know they have some farming land (almond or pistachio trees mainly, I think).

Unemployment is high, and job opportunities are low over there. There was also the massive earthquake, but their region wasn't directly affected.

I should ask them more in fact, next time I see them.

interesting, my aunt was in europe just after ww2 and fell in love with someone from Germany, much to her father's fear.
they were married for many many years.

I wouldn't believe whatever you posted as 'proof'.

Ok so read the update.
I am glad it’s worked out for you he sounds lovely.
People will say see how it’s going 20 years later bet it’s all gone to shit but no one knows how any man or marriage will turn out whether he’s from the other side of the world or your next door neighbour.

Just to add to my post about the Kurds I know, one can't go back easily as he risks being drafted in for military service. He has been but his wife isn't happy about it.

😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

It saddens you about stereotypes?

You said you didnt even talk to the guy as he was working then he asked your dad's permission to take you out.

Sorry but regardless of country or nationality, that's creepy if some bloke pesters you despite hardly talking to you. The bloke could’ve been called Gary from Blackpool and people would have said mostly the same.

Glad it worked out.

OP, i haven’t read all the responses but most were telling you to view it as a holiday fling or to tread carefully.

What most were commenting on was about the fact that without having had a proper conversation with the guy, you were already thinking of the logistics of a long distance relationship and let’s be honest, could see yourself walking down the aisle with this guy.

Yes it’s worked out for you, but statistically this kind of relationship fizzles into nothing and has very little chance of success.

FGS OP you sound about 14 not 29.

Don't have dinner, don't start dreaming about how you can relocate to Turkey and have a life there.

Talk about letting you fantasies run away with you!

Have you been reading too many chick lit novels on holiday romances?

But… it DID work out for me.

See my recent update.

We'll see how that's going for you in another 3 years. What an odd thread you've made.

And 3 years together, 2 kids, splitting your time? Watch this space.

I've not read all your updates- are you now married to him and living in Turkey?
A lot has happened in less than 24 hours if you have.

There are always exceptions to the rule and you were lucky- but it doesn’t work out that way for many.

You took a risk and it worked out- it doesn’t for the majority.

I think this is called counting your chickens before they've hatched. Met, married, two children, all in just 3 years is not happy ever after, as a gazillion threads here on MN will testify. You've not had a long and happy life together yet. But congrats on the ruse and the smug. Why not just write an honest post sharing your experience of the racism people in intercultural relationships have to deal with every day?

OP I like a lot of people would have read your thread in good faith to offer advice. I didn't agree with a lot of it but it was offered in good faith.
I've now read your weird gotcha update and am left thinking wtf why did you bother making up this thread ?????

Are you seriously considering posting them on a public forum?

These people saying he is after a passport/visa. You do realise Turkey is in the EU? So they can go anywhere in the EU freely. An EU passport is more powerful than a UK one nowadays!