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Original poster

Currently in Turkey, met a guy…

838 replies

theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 21:11

And I know they say ‘people come along when you least expect it’ but I never ever thought this would happen to me.

im 29, British, recently I came out of a long term relationship and I am currently on holiday with my family.

I’ve met a lovely Turkish man whilst here. Completely unexpectedly, he was working on one of the tours we went on 4 days ago.

I know it sounds silly and cliche, but as soon as I saw him it’s like I just knew I needed to get to know him. We didn’t speak much on the trip itself since he was obviously busy working - but after when he was showing us the photos he’d taken, we swapped numbers and have been chatting ever since.

He has asked to take me for dinner tomorrow evening (locally in the resort town we are staying in) my mum is saying go for it, but my dad seems to have reservations and is telling me not to be so stupid and naive..

This man hasn’t shown me any red flags or given me reason to distrust him.

Im kind of in the mindset that I’m here on holiday, it’s probably not going to progress.. so let’s see what happens?

has anybody else ever been in this situation, meeting a guy abroad / getting to know somebody from a different country?

I know there are huge complex loopholes and issues IF we did get to know each other more and develop a relationship - due to distance etc.

would love to know thoughts please, as I’m really in two minds.

Thank you ☺️

OP posts:
PiggingBastardPigs · 30/08/2025 08:23

@BadgesforBadgers “I'll see you in 'Take a Break' magazine in a year's time”.

😁 Looks like you were right there considering the ‘update’.

Digdongdoo · 30/08/2025 08:23

theoneortwo · 30/08/2025 08:13

Probably time to come clean here.. ‼️

Im currently sitting having breakfast with this very man -my husband - the love of my life who I did in fact meet in these exact circumstances.

Daughter number 1 is asleep upstairs and baby 2 cooking away nicely!🤰

After meeting 3 years ago (I was 29) we made it work. We went for the dinner my dad said no to, had the most gorgeous week together and I flew back out 2 weeks after to spend another fortnight. We did long distance for a year.

For us, it was love at first sight and he has made me the happiest woman in the world. He works hard, got a degree and is now working in an accountancy firm. He provides for us, and I couldn’t wish for more.

He purchased our villa in Turkey and we live 1/2 the year in the sunshine and the other half in the UK.

We were talking through our early days last night and wanted to get the general consensus as to the thoughts of other people - and clearly the majority are just as we thought - categorising people that aren’t British into stereotypes and words of racism left right and center.

PS. My dad literally adores him - he’s like the son my dad never had. 👏🏼

So. Yes, we made this work despite the judgement we got from almost all of the people in our lives.

And it saddens me to see that those judgements and stereotypes are still floating around today.

I guess this was just a little post to see if people really did view us and our situation the way we suspected they did.

I was called naive, stupid, a sl** even - all for falling in love with a man that calls a diferent country home.

He was accused of wanting a passport, my money..

A word of advice from me - go for the dinner, get to know them. You never know. It could be the most incredible journey you ever take 👍🏼

OP I still say tread carefully. That's an awful lot very quickly with a man from a very different culture. I'm not sure you're at the point of lecturing yet.
I do agree that this thread has been horrid though.

PigletSanders · 30/08/2025 08:23

OP, kindly, are you a bit vulnerable?

User372849 · 30/08/2025 08:23

OP- my husband is Persian, I am British. We still adore each other after 20 years, have three lovely children and live in the UK. Of course it can work. My husband is not British so I am not one to say it cant ever work out.

However, that does not mean that people's advice to be careful was wrong. Cultural differences are important in a marriage and can have a huge effect on how your marriage works out.

I am glad that you are both happy but there are equally as many marriages that have started as yours did and ended very, very badly so I dont think people advising caution were wrong and I think its a little naive to suggest otherwise.

Original poster
theoneortwo · 30/08/2025 08:23

PigletSanders · 30/08/2025 08:23

OP, kindly, are you a bit vulnerable?

See my recent update.

OP posts:
butterpuffed · 30/08/2025 08:23

Good for you, OP. There are so many bitter PPs in here who try to persuade women to leave/not go ahead with men. OPs who are vulnerable often take the bait unfortunately .

Clawdy · 30/08/2025 08:23

Interesting post! Obviously not everyone has read OP's update!

Pearl69 · 30/08/2025 08:24

Listen to your Dad …..

WeAreExperiencingHigherNumberOfCallsThanUsual · 30/08/2025 08:24

You made yourself sound like proper naive and vulnerable or dummy here so why would you be surprised people thought you were being romance scammed or something?

And it saddens me to see that those judgements and stereotypes are still floating around today.
It's been 3 yeara, not 30. Of course nothing has changed.... Stereotypes often have a base in true. Not mumsnetters fauly that romance holiday acams etc are so common.

PiggingBastardPigs · 30/08/2025 08:24

What a super intelligent, devious plot. Lol.

Crucible · 30/08/2025 08:25

Oh God. A 'gotcha' type thread. The post I quoted sounded odd -hence my own post.. That's as far as I got.

Give over OP. You sounded a bit unhinged in your early posts, like you thought marriage and babies were happening when you'd just met him. 🤯.

PigletSanders · 30/08/2025 08:27

theoneortwo · 30/08/2025 08:23

See my recent update.

Show quote history

Ah. And do you still have your liver?

Original poster
theoneortwo · 30/08/2025 08:27

PigletSanders · 30/08/2025 08:27

Ah. And do you still have your liver?

Show quote history

I am pleased to confirm I do!

OP posts:
legsekeven · 30/08/2025 08:28

And nothing to do with how you met or where you are from but! Marriage and two kids in three years. That’s a lot in a short time.

PiggingBastardPigs · 30/08/2025 08:28

Crucible · 30/08/2025 08:25

Oh God. A 'gotcha' type thread. The post I quoted sounded odd -hence my own post.. That's as far as I got.

Give over OP. You sounded a bit unhinged in your early posts, like you thought marriage and babies were happening when you'd just met him. 🤯.

Right. Attention seeking under the guise of catching people out. 0/10.

fknEndlessCycle · 30/08/2025 08:28

Lots of negativity here, but I’d say just go for it. Even if it ends up being nothing, you could have a lovely dinner, what do you have to lose? I had a brief thing with someone I met abroad, but I proved too realist to try and pursue it beyond that. We were a bit older than you which affected whether I wanted to take all the risks involved. I think he and I could have ended up together if we’d been in the same place / at least in two places that were easier to visit (he could barely even get a visa to visit the U.K. sadly)

cryingandshaking · 30/08/2025 08:29

Haha good for you OP 😂.

Glad it worked out for you, and hopefully some of the posters who were frothing at the mouth will calm down now. FWIW I have 3 clients who married men they met on holiday, all in Turkey. 2 have been married for over 10 years and are very happy. 1 also remains married but has had a lot of ups and downs with him cheating….. just like many who have married men from here funnily enough!

Original poster
theoneortwo · 30/08/2025 08:29

legsekeven · 30/08/2025 08:28

And nothing to do with how you met or where you are from but! Marriage and two kids in three years. That’s a lot in a short time.

I said in my comment that it was exactly as I’ve written this post.

I was holidaying with my parents, had come out of a nasty marriage and didn’t expect to meet anybody.

OP posts:
PiggingBastardPigs · 30/08/2025 08:29

WeAreExperiencingHigherNumberOfCallsThanUsual · 30/08/2025 08:24

You made yourself sound like proper naive and vulnerable or dummy here so why would you be surprised people thought you were being romance scammed or something?

And it saddens me to see that those judgements and stereotypes are still floating around today.
It's been 3 yeara, not 30. Of course nothing has changed.... Stereotypes often have a base in true. Not mumsnetters fauly that romance holiday acams etc are so common.

Edited

We’re all supposed to be impressed by the ingenuity.

TammyJones · 30/08/2025 08:31

DinaofCloud9 · 30/08/2025 08:23

That's a lovely story but it has only been 3 years. If it had been 30 then I'd agree with you.

I was thinking this.
Been with my dh 30 years.
The first 10 years were amazing.
I think it was a bit mean to post like this.
Were you trying to prove a point?
Get back at all the naysayer from back in the day?
You’re happy - great.
There has been some cracking advise from people on here, and you got very defensive, over an argument, that in affect had been won - silly and pointless.

Pearl69 · 30/08/2025 08:32

lol. Glad it worked out for you OP.

Tooshytoshine · 30/08/2025 08:32

My mate married a Turkish man she met on holiday. They have now been married 15 years and have 2 kids (11 and 13). He is a good dad and husband - handsome, hardworking, treats her like a princess and tells women who flirt with him to respect his wife.

There are good men everywhere.

VeryStressedMum · 30/08/2025 08:33

theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 21:28

To be honest I hadn’t perceived him asking my parents their permission in negative light - I didn’t think of it that way but I do understand what you are all saying. Perhaps it’s a sign of deeper rooted control?

I always think men who ask parents permission to take their daughter on a date do that because they think it makes them look chivalrous and respectful when they are anything but

GeorgeMichaelsCat · 30/08/2025 08:33

Yeah, right

Original poster
theoneortwo · 30/08/2025 08:34

GeorgeMichaelsCat · 30/08/2025 08:33

Yeah, right

Would you like photographs? Marriage certificate?

OP posts:
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