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AIBU?

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Original poster

Currently in Turkey, met a guy…

838 replies

theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 21:11

And I know they say ‘people come along when you least expect it’ but I never ever thought this would happen to me.

im 29, British, recently I came out of a long term relationship and I am currently on holiday with my family.

I’ve met a lovely Turkish man whilst here. Completely unexpectedly, he was working on one of the tours we went on 4 days ago.

I know it sounds silly and cliche, but as soon as I saw him it’s like I just knew I needed to get to know him. We didn’t speak much on the trip itself since he was obviously busy working - but after when he was showing us the photos he’d taken, we swapped numbers and have been chatting ever since.

He has asked to take me for dinner tomorrow evening (locally in the resort town we are staying in) my mum is saying go for it, but my dad seems to have reservations and is telling me not to be so stupid and naive..

This man hasn’t shown me any red flags or given me reason to distrust him.

Im kind of in the mindset that I’m here on holiday, it’s probably not going to progress.. so let’s see what happens?

has anybody else ever been in this situation, meeting a guy abroad / getting to know somebody from a different country?

I know there are huge complex loopholes and issues IF we did get to know each other more and develop a relationship - due to distance etc.

would love to know thoughts please, as I’m really in two minds.

Thank you ☺️

OP posts:
SleepWalkingtoSeville · 30/08/2025 08:05

I’d honestly be amazed if anyone was fishing for a passport for this bin fire of a country.

AmoozzBoosh · 30/08/2025 08:06

@theoneortwo have you ever seen Shirley valentine? Stream it.

You're just out of a marriage, stop fantasising about being swept off your feet. Have fun but keep a sensible head.

lemonraspberry · 30/08/2025 08:06

Enjoy the moment with him but what happens in Turkey stays in Turkey. Don't bring him home with you.

Bear in mind you are at what I call the 'job interview' stage. He will show you his best side, no flaws, all good. But I do expect he has seen you coming (bearing in mind his job), you have probably told him you have just left a long term relationship and right now it is a bit like a shark circling its prey, just waiting for the moment.

Ivy888 · 30/08/2025 08:08

theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 21:15

I am definitely not going to be sleeping with him, that’s NOT at all on my agenda! 🤣

I am just torn as to if I should give him the chance and go for dinner. He even asked my mum and dad for their permission to take me - which is when my dad said no and mum said yes..

Well him asking your parents for permission to take you on a date would be a massive red flag for me personally. I don’t want to be with a guy who’s into old-fashioned nonsense.

What exactly do you want if you’re not interested in shagging him? That is probably what he expects. You will not be the first tourist he’s asked out. I don’t think he’s going to the trouble of taking you out to a restaurant just to have a nice chat. He knows you’re there on holiday and will be gone in a few days. So of course he’s hoping for a shag (or looking for a relationship to be able to move abroad).

Blueberry911 · 30/08/2025 08:08

Girl, have you never read Take A Break or the Sun or Daily Mail? 🍿

Wellifyouresurebetterbegryffindor · 30/08/2025 08:09

The levels of meanness on this thread are astounding. Some people are coming across as jealous little girls. Just give the OP advice no need to insult her.

OP if it was me I would not do it. I do know two people who have been in a similar situation and got married. They both live in Turkey now and not the UK.

BadgesforBadgers · 30/08/2025 08:10

He's seen you from a mile off, just the kind of 'mark' these guys look for.

On holiday with parents = single and not too confident

He'll have seen you making eyes at him.

If you came accross to him as you have to us in this thread, he'll have you on toast.

Sounds like you still believe in fairytales and Prince charming, OP.

I'll see you in 'Take a Break' magazine in a year's time .

Winterwasp · 30/08/2025 08:10

"And I know they say ‘people come along when you least expect it’ but I never ever thought this would happen to me."

Id say your kidneys are safe. However, the opening sentence of your post shows someone who is a bit naïve to this kind of situation. The asking your parents permission comes across a bit smarmy as well. You should have realised this at 29! The other posters on here advising you to enjoy a bit of a holiday fling and take it for what it is are probably a bit more streetwise than you and wouldn't fall for the bullshit, whereas respectfully,you seem like a bit more of a mark.

Original poster
theoneortwo · 30/08/2025 08:13

Probably time to come clean here.. ‼️

Im currently sitting having breakfast with this very man -my husband - the love of my life who I did in fact meet in these exact circumstances.

Daughter number 1 is asleep upstairs and baby 2 cooking away nicely!🤰

After meeting 3 years ago (I was 29) we made it work. We went for the dinner my dad said no to, had the most gorgeous week together and I flew back out 2 weeks after to spend another fortnight. We did long distance for a year.

For us, it was love at first sight and he has made me the happiest woman in the world. He works hard, got a degree and is now working in an accountancy firm. He provides for us, and I couldn’t wish for more.

He purchased our villa in Turkey and we live 1/2 the year in the sunshine and the other half in the UK.

We were talking through our early days last night and wanted to get the general consensus as to the thoughts of other people - and clearly the majority are just as we thought - categorising people that aren’t British into stereotypes and words of racism left right and center.

PS. My dad literally adores him - he’s like the son my dad never had. 👏🏼

So. Yes, we made this work despite the judgement we got from almost all of the people in our lives.

And it saddens me to see that those judgements and stereotypes are still floating around today.

I guess this was just a little post to see if people really did view us and our situation the way we suspected they did.

I was called naive, stupid, a sl** even - all for falling in love with a man that calls a diferent country home.

He was accused of wanting a passport, my money..

A word of advice from me - go for the dinner, get to know them. You never know. It could be the most incredible journey you ever take 👍🏼

OP posts:
Empress13 · 30/08/2025 08:13

AmIHumanOrAmIAYeti · 29/08/2025 21:26

Have you never seen Shirley Valentine?

Lol was just going to say this ! OP even if you fell for him and came back to UK having a long distance relationship how on earth would you ever trust him with other women? Tour guides are masters in making people feel special and welcome. I’m sure you weren’t the first and won’t be the last! Nah throw this one back it won’t work.

legsekeven · 30/08/2025 08:14

CarterBeatsTheDevil · 29/08/2025 21:20

I don't want to derail this thread but there's nothing charming about a guy asking your parents for permission to take you out

This! Straight no from me if this happened

Clarabell77 · 30/08/2025 08:14

theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 21:15

I am definitely not going to be sleeping with him, that’s NOT at all on my agenda! 🤣

I am just torn as to if I should give him the chance and go for dinner. He even asked my mum and dad for their permission to take me - which is when my dad said no and mum said yes..

Well that would be enough to give me my answer - NO.

legsekeven · 30/08/2025 08:16

Ah so a “reverse” of sorts. Just so you can call people racist. Very odd.

Empress13 · 30/08/2025 08:17

LochKatrine · 29/08/2025 21:30

It's because he thinks you can't give consent.
Anyway, no harm in a meal, have fun if you want to. Just be wary.

Show quote history

No it’s because he’s trying to look good in front of your parents like look at me being a true gentleman asking your permission first! How old is he?

cryingandshaking · 30/08/2025 08:17

This thread is absolutely bonkers and highly entertaining on a boring Sunday morning 😁
OP go and enjoy a holiday romance if you want. Just don’t get carried away with thoughts of marriage and children! What I wouldn’t give to me in my 20’s again and embarking on a delicious holiday fling rather that than a 46 year old “nanna”

Original poster
theoneortwo · 30/08/2025 08:17

legsekeven · 30/08/2025 08:16

Ah so a “reverse” of sorts. Just so you can call people racist. Very odd.

Not at all. I just wanted to get the general consensus of what people’s thoughts are in this day and age.

Sadly the majority are exactly what we faced 3 years ago.

I feel for anybody going through the same kind distance / multi cultural love as it’s not for the faint of heart.

OP posts:
Appalonia · 30/08/2025 08:18

Haha very sneaky OP! Can't wait to see the reactions of all the naysayers on this thread! Good for you😁

Crucible · 30/08/2025 08:20

theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 21:17

I’ve got friends that have met the love of their lived abroad, married with children and lovely happy lives - so I know it CAN happen.. but I just never thought it would happen to me!

I guess there is the risk of him wanting a visa / passport etc but again having spoken to my friends about their journeys with their partners, I know the ins and outs of the process and it is NOT at all easy. And not something I’d be willing to do!

But he's only asked you to dinner?

applepieandapplepie · 30/08/2025 08:20

Didn’t this happen to Deidre on Coronation street in the 90s? 🫣

AmoozzBoosh · 30/08/2025 08:20

guess this was just a little post to see if people really did view us and our situation the way we suspected they did

I'm actually kind of offended tbh.
My post was about the realities of holidays romances and being careful about rushing into another relationship so soon after a divorce...Nothing at all about racism.

Totally unnecessary post. You only have to look around you to see the attitudes towards people who aren't white - especially those from the middle east - in the UK right now.

It's lovely your holiday romance turned into such a beautiful marriage and I'm happy for you, but kindly don't write the rest of us off as narrow minded racists.

Winterwasp · 30/08/2025 08:20

Good for you OP. And good for finding the time in your Disney/Mills&Boon life to come up with this little experiment!

Charlize43 · 30/08/2025 08:21

You don't sound very Worldly. I guess you've never travelled to Morocco where you can have a 'boyfriend' on every street corner and at every restaurant.

For some countries (Turkey included), western women (I'm French, so I've lived with this stereotype abroad all my life, thanks Brigitte!) are view upon as loose and promiscuous - and therefore a magnet to men looking for sex and they'll have no qualms telling you that for them, 'it was love on first sight' and they want to take care of you for the rest of your life... you are a princess, blah, blah, blah.'

Economic differences will also mean that you'll be picking up the tab most of the time that 'Yusuf' asks you out for dinner as he'll have a sick mother/sister/father at home and all his money goes on huge hospital bills.

If you can't see it for what it is, listen to your father, as you may get emotionally hurt.

TammyJones · 30/08/2025 08:22

Well that was completely pointless- and the total exception to the rule …. Glad it worked out for you… but it’s not everyone story

Original poster
theoneortwo · 30/08/2025 08:22

AmoozzBoosh · 30/08/2025 08:20

guess this was just a little post to see if people really did view us and our situation the way we suspected they did

I'm actually kind of offended tbh.
My post was about the realities of holidays romances and being careful about rushing into another relationship so soon after a divorce...Nothing at all about racism.

Totally unnecessary post. You only have to look around you to see the attitudes towards people who aren't white - especially those from the middle east - in the UK right now.

It's lovely your holiday romance turned into such a beautiful marriage and I'm happy for you, but kindly don't write the rest of us off as narrow minded racists.

Edited

I said the majority - not all.

OP posts:
DinaofCloud9 · 30/08/2025 08:23

That's a lovely story but it has only been 3 years. If it had been 30 then I'd agree with you.

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