Currently in Turkey, met a guy…

[theoneortwo]

And I know they say ‘people come along when you least expect it’ but I never ever thought this would happen to me.

im 29, British, recently I came out of a long term relationship and I am currently on holiday with my family.

I’ve met a lovely Turkish man whilst here. Completely unexpectedly, he was working on one of the tours we went on 4 days ago.

I know it sounds silly and cliche, but as soon as I saw him it’s like I just knew I needed to get to know him. We didn’t speak much on the trip itself since he was obviously busy working - but after when he was showing us the photos he’d taken, we swapped numbers and have been chatting ever since.

He has asked to take me for dinner tomorrow evening (locally in the resort town we are staying in) my mum is saying go for it, but my dad seems to have reservations and is telling me not to be so stupid and naive..

This man hasn’t shown me any red flags or given me reason to distrust him.

Im kind of in the mindset that I’m here on holiday, it’s probably not going to progress.. so let’s see what happens?

has anybody else ever been in this situation, meeting a guy abroad / getting to know somebody from a different country?

I know there are huge complex loopholes and issues IF we did get to know each other more and develop a relationship - due to distance etc.

would love to know thoughts please, as I’m really in two minds.

Thank you ☺️

I’m sorry at this point you’re actually not making any sense..
What exactly have I accused you of? 🤣

if one person said it it could be bonkers yeah. But quite a few of us are saying same things. I think it’s you who’s bonkers for not listening to us or even bother to looking it up. Google is your friend 👍

I really think it’s quite likely he has a wife and kids.

Op, I think @Emmafuller79 has given a very realistic view. She came on here to help you but you accuse her of having a bee in her bonnet and today being ‘next level’. If you’re hell bent on not listening to sensible advice then just don’t post on here asking for advice. You’ve obviously made your own mind up about this guy regardless and just seem to be getting extremely defensive about him, to the point you’re arguing with posters who have come on here to give you the advice you asked for.
You do seem somewhat very blinkered and naive. I think this guy can sense this from a mile off. Predators are well known for seeking out gullible and naive people and I think he’s spotted you from a mile off.

“You think I want to make fuck with you, but I don’t want to make fuck with you, fuck is fuck, and boat is boat”

“absolutely bloody charming”

Go Dougie and Jeanette

It’s not that at all, it’s how the thread got derailed from my asking of advice to being told I’ll get my liver taken 😅

Shes not been particularly kind to lots of the people on this thread - not just me.

I married one from the ME in my early twenties while living there. He was a chivalrous gent up until the ring was on the finger.

Spent thousands on his spouse visa and once he came over here, the marriage only lasted a couple months. I later found out his previous girlfriends before me were mostly old English or American woman, it’s as clear as day he was only after the passport.

If you have a child with him, he can easily leg it to Turkey with the child and you most likely won’t see your child again if that were to happen. One of my friends is married to a man from a similar country and he travel banned the child. My friend and her child cant leave until the child is 18.

Now I used to work with many Turk men and men from ME countries. Mostly friendly and pleasant but I would never get into a relationship with one again. The religious differences are far too prominent.

My ex wasn't a strict one UNTIL we married. This has happened with all of my friends who also married men from these countries. Most have ended in divorce.

If you want a no strings attached holiday romance then go ahead (and use protection!). Every LDR I have been in I have been cheated on so I would think very carefully about starting one.

I know one. He moved to Yorkshire with his English wife, then left the marriage when the baby was a week old. Never saw him again.

Go to dinner but be smart and safe. Have a lovely time and make your own mind up. Beware of love bombing x

Of course you can have a holiday romance, just be careful where you go, ensure it’s local, that someone knows where you, watch your drink, take your phone etc.
No harm enjoying yourself, just take care and don’t drink too much. Have your wits around you, be careful.
He won’t be a strict Muslim if he’s taking you out, it’s simply not allowed. Only Halal dating is. Whether his mum and dad know he dates westerners is another story.

I wouldn’t think of it as anything more than a holiday romance though, if you are likely to get very attached I wouldn’t go as I’d question his motives. I also don’t like many aspects of the Muslim way of life, the way animals are killed -halal, views on homosexuality, not liking dogs. For any relationship to work your views need to align somewhat in my opinion.

I have Muslim friends who aren’t strict and not religious, married to friends, have dogs, also mum friends through DD I’m not racist before anyone clutches those bloody pearls!

He asked your parents’ permission so that they see him as a good bloke. Very likely stage act.

Turkish men want young girls for a shag or visa. They often have a young wife back in their village. They know that older women have money and will play the long game in order to get it.

When I lived there I saw lots of 60 year old women with 24 year old waiters and lost count of women who were scammed and ended up penniless. They'll tell you you're different from other English women and how beautiful you are. Go if you want to but please don't be fooled.

Emmafuller79 · Yesterday 23:16
Don’t think so sunshine. You’ve fallen for the cliche dinner invite in turkey, have no idea many Turkish men target white British lady’s for 🇬🇧passport, Won’t listen to your dad and act a bit like a lovesick teen.
i been on the planet a lot longer then you sunshine👍, have 3 kids, soon to be a nanna and have all
sorts of experiences in different parts of uk. The only thing I lack is education but so what as educated people don’t always have what I have - a big family and common sense. 👍.
............
What a horribly written, chavvy post. You shouldn't go around calling people 'Sunshine' in that manner, saying "I been...", and the like. The plural of 'lady' is 'ladies' for goodness sake, you don't have to be particularly well educated to know that.

You say you are soon to be a 'nanna'; if you speak like that in real life I wouldn't want you around small children.

The least you can do is proofread what you type before posting.

Different race? Turks are Caucasian same as the English.

@theoneortwo you sound like just the type of person to fall to these scammers .
You may be withering over a date . If he wants a visa to uk he will make it work .
Before you know it he will be giving you the “I love you” and all the sweet talk . You will be saying “oh he loves me” We are getting married .
These guys are experts at this .

Holiday fling possibly (although I’d not when I’d be questioning if he is really attracted to me or just in it for a visa)
Anything else no

Its only a dinner, go for it, have fun on your terms.
Enjoy 😉

Oh god people are getting crazy here - organ harvesting? Have these people been to Turkey? I'd be amazed if they've ever even left the country!

OP go for dinner, I'm sure it will be lovely and you will be treated with huge respect. Of course don't think this is someone to marry and have a family with, just go and have a nice time. There's every chance he does this sort of thing frequently but so do all the men on Tinder! Just go and have a nice night, I'm sure you'll learn loads of interesting things about his culture and will have some great food. It doesn't have to be so deep.

I've travelled solo all over the world and say just keep it public and only do things you're comfortable with. Don't be thinking this could be the love of your life, just have a fun night.

Op, no harm in going out to dinner. Just be careful. Yes some people do meet their life partners when on holiday abroad but tour guides and the like are famous for picking up vulnerable girls and woman; it's a perk of the job.

The internet is awash with stories of Kurdish men targeting British girls with the long term hope of getting a visa, please don't ignore warnings but do treat him as an individual. Kurds have historically had a terrible struggle and are not recognised as a nation; they are mostly Sunni Muslim.

He may be a decent chap, who knows. It doesn't matter where he comes from, it's his character that is important and you aren't going to know about that in five minutes.

Have fun but keep it light.

A lot of cynicism on here, feels a bit judgemental because he is Turkish. There's no harm in going for dinner as long as you are sensible and safe

Wow not sure which part of this js the most racist?

It's a fling. Enjoy it if you wish but it's no more than a fling, and for goodness sake use protection!

It more than likely won’t. Don’t be buying a wedding dress, just have a nice meal.

Summer lovin', had me a blast ... 🎶🎵

At best this'd be a summer fling.

You sound like a naive 18 year old 🙄

Well he isn’t going to fly the flags now is he?

Go for dinner, leave Turkey and lose
contact.

Don’t be swayed by the charm he’ll show every holiday maker - from someone who worked holiday resorts for years!