Currently in Turkey, met a guy…

[theoneortwo]

And I know they say ‘people come along when you least expect it’ but I never ever thought this would happen to me.

im 29, British, recently I came out of a long term relationship and I am currently on holiday with my family.

I’ve met a lovely Turkish man whilst here. Completely unexpectedly, he was working on one of the tours we went on 4 days ago.

I know it sounds silly and cliche, but as soon as I saw him it’s like I just knew I needed to get to know him. We didn’t speak much on the trip itself since he was obviously busy working - but after when he was showing us the photos he’d taken, we swapped numbers and have been chatting ever since.

He has asked to take me for dinner tomorrow evening (locally in the resort town we are staying in) my mum is saying go for it, but my dad seems to have reservations and is telling me not to be so stupid and naive..

This man hasn’t shown me any red flags or given me reason to distrust him.

Im kind of in the mindset that I’m here on holiday, it’s probably not going to progress.. so let’s see what happens?

has anybody else ever been in this situation, meeting a guy abroad / getting to know somebody from a different country?

I know there are huge complex loopholes and issues IF we did get to know each other more and develop a relationship - due to distance etc.

would love to know thoughts please, as I’m really in two minds.

Thank you ☺️

Sounds very weird.
It seems this fellow doesn't believe in your own authority over your own decisions.
Big red flag.

I know someone who did this about 12 years ago. Whirlwind romance. Perfect guy. She wasn’t looking, etc… She moved there and married him. He fucked off to Melbourne with all her money and “can’t afford to come back”. He’s been in Melbourne for more than a decade and she’s broke and in some nowhere town by herself, navigating a new language, medical system, etc and trying to fend for herself.

Same. The relationship became horrific once they me arrived and he treated her like a punch bag and was not allowed to do anything. Thankfully she managed to escape back to the UK.

I occasionally think of Carol, a middle aged divorced colleague who met a younger Turkish man on holiday and kept flying back. We lost touch when she took voluntary redundancy to fund an apartment new build in Turkey that was being built by his friends. Last I heard was the apartment had lots of building failures and she was selling her house here to go live there and keep an eye on the build 🙄

I’ve left the business now and don’t have Facebook, so I don’t know how it turned out. I do recall she wouldn’t listen to advice.

Probably picks up a different girl on every tour, if there's one he fancies. Go for dinner, but realise what you are getting into and it's almost certainly not a fairy tale romance. And be very careful where you go with him he may not be the gentleman you think.

What a lot of nasty cynics here.
Go, enjoy yourself, have a bit of fun and see what happens. Take care as you would on any first date

Occupational hazard for him im sure.

Now invested OP - please keep us updated!

My colleagues and I were worried sick, when a recently divorced colleague married a Turkish waiter (the second one that she had a relationship with). They are still happily married 2 decades later, with 2 young adult children.
However, I know several horror stories too. Turkey is famous for the men hitting on UK women.
Don't go.

I thought the point was he's a tour guide in a relatively poor foreign country, who meets women everyday and probably goes out with lots of them and may well have ulterior motives for being friendly. And the advice is be careful.

The man hasn't shown you any red flags so far, OP, because you don't know him from Adam. Just watch out for casual, innocent requests for money due to generally being down on luck, and pics of a close relative in hospital. If you just want a fling, take usual precautions and keep an eye on your drink. Good luck.

Boat is boat.

Based on his action of asking your parents permission……..quite old school in the traditional scheme of things…….why not follow his ethic, and take your mum along as chaperone? 😂

Morning everyone - trying to read through the new comments at the moment.

Thank you again for all of the advice. I appreciate it!

I hadn’t considered the fact he asked my parents for permission - and my dad playfully saying no - as a red flag. During that conversation I told him I’ll think about it and that I will let him know today.

I'm still thinking it all through. I know the stereotypes and am aware of the risks etc - but I don’t personally feel any more risk here than I would dating in the UK, in this day and age.

I’ll update when I decide.

Am I missing something here? You're asking whether you should go to dinner with someone, not commit the entirety of the rest of your days with him. It's not that deep. And the very fact that you've even asked the question suggests you are unsure, so why would you bother?

He after a visa listen to your dad and run a mile if you have any thing other then air in your head you should leave well alone

Well I'm in Turkey now too, and yesterday two British women in their 30s with 3 babies rocked up to our hotel. The women are wearing headscarves and have the same Turkish father to their kids.
But also someone I know met the love of her life in Turkey and 15 years later have 3 kids.
People are just telling you to be sensible. I went on a jeep safari in Antalya and the single woman was asked for her number by the guide. Go, and keep and open mind if you wish. But highest chance is he just wants a shag

This is why you shouldn't go on holiday during ovulation.

TBH, @theoneortwo it's the way you are putting so much romantic weight on this 'meeting a bloke on holiday scenario' - it's just way too intense and why people are questioning your maturity levels.

If you just wanted a bit of fun and could treat it like that, I think you would have very different answers on here.

The way you are coming across is a bit Disney princess - true love at the first meeting and all that bollocks.

I wouldn't recommend you going on a date as you don't seem to have the emotional intelligence to recognise this for what it is

And plenty of scam romance documentaries on Netflix.

That's so wierd op I'm sorry. That'd a red flag already surely, asking for parental permission when it's a 29 year old woman?? Reveals his opinions perhaps on the dynamics of women and parental role/permission needed rather than younhabe your own agency.

Two outcomes really:

Neither of you live in the same country, you don't know eachother beyond pleasantries so why pursue more when there's an end date to your acquaintance? I know you've got out of a relationship so a holiday fling may seem like an esteem boosting thing but really what's the point in spending time with someone you may never see again, and who asked your parents permission to take you out?

He asked your mum n dad as no doubt you’d have told them anyway that you were going to go. This way, he looks like a good decent chap for asking their permission. Please spend a day watching scam romance documentaries before you make a decision. Includes scams where people meet on holiday, wife moves over, buys home with proceeds of uk sale home, he’s already divorced, whole family in on everything, she can’t leave / locked indoors, passport taken away. Eventually returned to Glasgow penniless and job less. Thoroughly heart breaking.

😂😂😂 A potential holiday fling not only discussed with parents, but also introduced to them. My family would rightfully think I lost it and would come to pick me up if that happened.

In his culture, it’s probably just a normal thing to ask parents. I guess red flag in the sense that he is from a very different culture to you. I was in a multi faith relationship, though I am not particularly religious and my ex picked and choose what parts of his muslim faith to follow. But it definitely caused issues and he was raised in the UK. It can be hard coming from different cultures, and religions, very hard. That said, the muslim man my friend married after meeting him in Tunisia is a muslim, and they’ve not had many issues, but he is even less strict about his religion.

If you go for dinner, just be cautious. Of course everyone will say he is out for one thing and has a different woman every week. Same as what they said about friends Tunisian DH, especially when she supported his visa to come to the UK. It wasn’t an easy process. They’ve done over 20yr now and are genuinely a really happy couple. But afraid that the stereotypes will be what everyone thinks of. Just be careful.

Thank you 🥰 I reckon we’d be a dangerous pair of best friends together, and have a great time along the way 😇