Currently in Turkey, met a guy…

[theoneortwo]

And I know they say ‘people come along when you least expect it’ but I never ever thought this would happen to me.

im 29, British, recently I came out of a long term relationship and I am currently on holiday with my family.

I’ve met a lovely Turkish man whilst here. Completely unexpectedly, he was working on one of the tours we went on 4 days ago.

I know it sounds silly and cliche, but as soon as I saw him it’s like I just knew I needed to get to know him. We didn’t speak much on the trip itself since he was obviously busy working - but after when he was showing us the photos he’d taken, we swapped numbers and have been chatting ever since.

He has asked to take me for dinner tomorrow evening (locally in the resort town we are staying in) my mum is saying go for it, but my dad seems to have reservations and is telling me not to be so stupid and naive..

This man hasn’t shown me any red flags or given me reason to distrust him.

Im kind of in the mindset that I’m here on holiday, it’s probably not going to progress.. so let’s see what happens?

has anybody else ever been in this situation, meeting a guy abroad / getting to know somebody from a different country?

I know there are huge complex loopholes and issues IF we did get to know each other more and develop a relationship - due to distance etc.

would love to know thoughts please, as I’m really in two minds.

Thank you ☺️

Grow up. You can’t be in a relationship as you live in different countries. And you don’t know each other. Therefore he wants to have sex with you. If you don’t want to do that with him, why would you even bother wasting a night of your holiday to go to dinner with him?

🤦‍♀️

Ummmmmmm….

Us Turkish women know exactly how Turk men behave. Bless you 🤣🤣🤣

Well I sincerely hope you don’t holiday with your children and grandchildren then!

Asking your parents for permission to take you for dinner, like they own you?

It’s a no from me.

First google entry about Kurdish mens attitude to women

The Kurdish soci- ety is a patriarchal system in which customs, traditions, and even many written laws favor men. Women have relatively little power and freedom, gender roles are quite segregated, and women's sexual behavior is guarded jealously (e.g., Othman, 2011).

Pinching myself at the numerous "he wants a British passport" posts... Crikey, you really do think that all of us forrins are gagging for the magical British passport. No wonder Nigel will be your next PM.

Are you okay Emma? Seriously..

Plenty on Reddit, type in Kurdish husbands

🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

If you want to me up with him, do so but stay in public places like restaurant / bar / cafe at all times.

Don’t go anywhere you don’t feel safe.

I don’t suppose he’s after a British passport as much as a shag/ fling tbh!

“would you say this to someone going for dinner in the UK with a fellow Brit?”- the difference being that a good reason to go out for dinner in the UK with a fellow Brit is because it might lead to another date, then maybe another and eventually a relationship (because you both live in the same place) - not the same for a holiday romance!

You're 29 and he asked your parents if he could take you to dinner!?

Liberal left , wet behind the ears per chance?

It's not xenophobia.

It's reality.

If a uni grad Turk asked out a uni grad Brit. Equal playing field.

Tour guide in Turkey asks out British girl (customer )very quickly in a destination known for romance scam behaviour and a rat is smelled.

If you want to be naive all to not look "xenophobic" (surprised you haven't used the R word, I'll give you credit for that ) then crack on
But don't expect the rest of us to follow suit.

I get and take on board all of the comments - thank you all.

I do however find it really sad how many people are willing to categorise and tarnish people of certain nationalities with the same brush. 😔

Surely in a country of so many people, they aren’t ALL bad!

Again; please don’t read this as though I am standing up for this guy, that isn’t the case - I am speaking generally now.

Just seen he is in fact Kurdish hahaha! This just gets better 🤣🤣🙈

Circumstances isn't it ? Or are you hard of thinking?

Do you understand that romance scams are a 'thing' : Thai women / fat balding European men (they'll play the long game - kudos ) Turkish/Kurdish men and big dumpy rough white Brits ? It is a thing.

Luckily most of us have an ounce of common sense and can figure out the circumstances in which the romance has evolved in.

See this is the type of comment I don’t understand.. not trying to pick an argument I’m just genuinely trying to understand the thought process here.

surely there would be outrage and utter uproar if a thread was made by a different nationality speaking this way about Brits? British aren’t angels either - there’s cheating, misogyny etc in every culture and every religion. There’s good and there’s bad in every country.

Surely it’s bordering on racism to be speaking this way about a certain group of people?

OP already knows she’s going out for dinner with this guy but just wanted validation from everyone. So despite the majority of opinions and advice she will go, he will charm the pants off her, literally, and will fall for him.
My advice is run for the hills.

Use protection.

For real. I mean they are so ignorant they think marrying a man means he automatically gets a passport or even the ability to live here.

Personally I think you can go for dinner nothing wrong with this and religion/ culture can be barriers in relationships but many work and survive. Someone asked if he is muslim, why should that matter if anything of he is a true Muslim he will treat her like a queen. I wouldn't delve too much on this date just go and enjoy it and your holiday but keep safe.

Nothing wrong with a holiday fling, but your first line "I know they say ‘people come along when you least expect it’ but I never ever thought this would happen to me" & talk of friends marrying holiday romances, suggests that you are already thinking this could be more than a fling.

Which makes you vulnerable - because you are just out of a serious relationship, and these tour guides/waiters/barmen etc are highly practised in the art of seducing English women - whether it be for a quick shag, money, gifts or a British passport. He will be able to put on an act of being your dream man, your soulmate, of adoring the ground you walk on - you will not see the real him.

I am 100% with your Dad.