Currently in Turkey, met a guy…

[theoneortwo]

And I know they say ‘people come along when you least expect it’ but I never ever thought this would happen to me.

im 29, British, recently I came out of a long term relationship and I am currently on holiday with my family.

I’ve met a lovely Turkish man whilst here. Completely unexpectedly, he was working on one of the tours we went on 4 days ago.

I know it sounds silly and cliche, but as soon as I saw him it’s like I just knew I needed to get to know him. We didn’t speak much on the trip itself since he was obviously busy working - but after when he was showing us the photos he’d taken, we swapped numbers and have been chatting ever since.

He has asked to take me for dinner tomorrow evening (locally in the resort town we are staying in) my mum is saying go for it, but my dad seems to have reservations and is telling me not to be so stupid and naive..

This man hasn’t shown me any red flags or given me reason to distrust him.

Im kind of in the mindset that I’m here on holiday, it’s probably not going to progress.. so let’s see what happens?

has anybody else ever been in this situation, meeting a guy abroad / getting to know somebody from a different country?

I know there are huge complex loopholes and issues IF we did get to know each other more and develop a relationship - due to distance etc.

would love to know thoughts please, as I’m really in two minds.

Thank you ☺️

I know someone who married her tour guide in Cuba, still together and live there. So it’s possible but for every genuine story there are probably loads of people scammed. Proceed with extreme caution OP! Your dad sounds sensible.

Yes, going to dinner with him will make it seem like you're 'easy,' as in, available or willing without much effort. Never in a million years would he approach a fellow Kurdish female in this way. You are the easy English tourist. I am cringing so hard.

What's wrong with going on holiday with your parents?

Iran? Pakistan?

I lived and worked in Turkey and honestly there were many very honest and wonderful men.

one of my work colleagues met her husband whilst travelling at a bus stop. They hit it off, went long distance for a good few years then married and she moved to Turkey. 15 years or so later they’re still together with two adorable kids.

At this point I’m honestly starting to think you’ve just got a bee in your bonnet, Emma..

Who said there’s an age limit on what age you must immediately cease going on holiday with your parents?!

I have plenty of other trips with friends and other family members. God forbid I wanted to take a holiday with my parents!

Fantastic!

Love rats of marmaris on Facebook. It’ll tell you all you need to know.

Go out for dinner. Have some fun. Just keep your wits about you and don't expect a fairy tale. Watch Shirley Valentine before you go!

There was once an English man. He went to Thailand. He met a simply lovely thai lady.......

Go for it if you want to, but try not to take it too seriously. Flings are fun to look back on. Your parents' different responses are very predictable. I'm on team mum!

Agree. It's so cringeworthy. Similar to asking dad's permission for marriage.... What year is it???

In that case OP why exactly are you so interested in peoples views on here? You keep repeating this. What do you hope to gain by the replies you have received exactly?

Country of origin does play a role, though. If you meet a man from a country that is similar in wealth to your own, it's less likely he's using you to get a pass into a more desirable location. His job, working with tourists every day, also tickles my scam-o-meter, I'm afraid. It's not like you locked eyes in a cafe or something. He knew you were a tourist, probably could tell you were British. I'd listen to dear old Dad on this one.

i guess it depends on culture, roots and upbringing. In the UK of course it’s abnormal - but maybe in his culture it’s deemed as respectful.

I personally would still love for my to-be husband to ask for my parents permission for marriage. Maybe that’s just me 😅

I mean.... If he's a looker and you want some fun and accept it for what it is, use protection and have a good few nights.

Be prepared though that he'll get clingy because he'll think he's snared you good and proper.

(Controversial opinion alert) I never think woman can genuinely have a casual fling without developing the feels though. (As the younguns would say) So... Probably got disaster and heartbreak for you written all over it.

Take your dad with you! Alternatively, don't go. The men in the UK are bad enough but at least it's harder for them to do anything untoward after a first date (as long as you're in public, get a taxi home, meet friends, etc). Don't give him your address back home. A wise woman once told me to always protect my heart: probably avoid sex, but if you have sex with him, don't orgasm because that'll release hormones that make you feel love.

Us Turkish women know exactly how Turk men behave. Bless you 🤣🤣🤣

I met a Turkish guy on holiday when I was a teenager. He was a couple of years older (at uni). He was lovely. Very respectful and we had a few snogs. He never tried anything on. We wrote to each other for about a year after I came home. He never asked for money or a visa.
Go for dinner. Be sensible where you go as you would with a stranger on a date in the UK.

As long as you are aware of the risks and the possibility of a hidden agenda then there’s no harm going for dinner and seeing if your opinion changes after that. Not every turkish man is chasing a white western woman for a visa. They will be genuine men out there, but there is a risk- as we most popular holiday destinations that some men will be after you for a quick shag or ticket out of there! Enjoy a meal, you’re on hols

I'd have been mortified if my DH had asked my dad's permission to marry me.

Indeed.

Don’t think so sunshine. You’ve fallen for the cliche dinner invite in turkey, have no idea many Turkish men target white British lady’s for 🇬🇧passport, Won’t listen to your dad and act a bit like a lovesick teen.

i been on the planet a lot longer then you sunshine👍, have 3 kids, soon to be a nanna and have all
sorts of experiences in different parts of uk. The only thing I lack is education but so what as educated people don’t always have what I have - a big family and common sense. 👍.

So much xenophobia on this thread. As if all foreign men can’t be trusted, FFS.

But OP you’re getting very carried away. It’s just dinner, not a proposal! Chill!