Currently in Turkey, met a guy…

[theoneortwo]

And I know they say ‘people come along when you least expect it’ but I never ever thought this would happen to me.

im 29, British, recently I came out of a long term relationship and I am currently on holiday with my family.

I’ve met a lovely Turkish man whilst here. Completely unexpectedly, he was working on one of the tours we went on 4 days ago.

I know it sounds silly and cliche, but as soon as I saw him it’s like I just knew I needed to get to know him. We didn’t speak much on the trip itself since he was obviously busy working - but after when he was showing us the photos he’d taken, we swapped numbers and have been chatting ever since.

He has asked to take me for dinner tomorrow evening (locally in the resort town we are staying in) my mum is saying go for it, but my dad seems to have reservations and is telling me not to be so stupid and naive..

This man hasn’t shown me any red flags or given me reason to distrust him.

Im kind of in the mindset that I’m here on holiday, it’s probably not going to progress.. so let’s see what happens?

has anybody else ever been in this situation, meeting a guy abroad / getting to know somebody from a different country?

I know there are huge complex loopholes and issues IF we did get to know each other more and develop a relationship - due to distance etc.

would love to know thoughts please, as I’m really in two minds.

Thank you ☺️

Oh dear, here we go.
Step away from Turkish men!

Iv had holidays in Turkey and Tunisia and the men are all over the British Girls i hated it because their so slimey and you know what their doing i no longer holiday in these places for that reason.

100% this. Someone new next week...

'He was the great love of her life you know.'
'Oh, dulling,' said my mother, sadly, 'One always thinks that. Every, every time.'
(Nancy Mitford, 'The Pursuit of Love')

God this is horrendous.

I’m experiencing an intense case of second-hand embarrassment just thinking about OP possibly dining with this crafty man.

But the fact that he’s going ‘above your head’ to ask your dad says to me that he doesn’t really value the fact that you’re a grown adult who can make your own decisions and would in fact rather approach someone who he seems to think ‘controls’ you.

I know there are cultural differences and that this is pretty common in some countries but you’re 29 yet he’s still bypassed you because he feels that your dad should have the overall final say

There are loads of British women married to Turkish guys living out there very happily.
You seem to have your wits about you in general.
It probably will come to nothing but you could have some fun on the way.
Him asking your parents could be good or bad.
Parents in control-bad. Him having cultural respect for older generations-good.
You know the flags to look out for.
It's not likely to last but it could do. Just don't get financially involved and DON'T get pregnant.

I’ve been in one relationship. I’m new to dating.

to be honest I haven’t looked into the different nationalities etc of others because I haven’t ever needed to. I do find it really distasteful to categorise people by their nationality though.

I’m not saying that to stand up for / back up this man.. after all, I don’t yet know him and I may not want to.. I just don’t like categorising nationalities of people and tarring them l with the same brush, without knowing them as individuals first.

Are you mad???

Bloody hell, OP.

Me - aged 14, family holiday in Turkey. Accosted by various sleazy Turkish waiters, and i snogged a few - but very innocently and under the watchful eye of my very protective dad. I also nearly went off with the cabin "boy" (*aged 25!) from the gullet ship that was near ours at the time. He was really quite good looking and a bloody good kisser but definitely a sleazy perv really, who should've known better than to chat up young innocent English girls on holiday 😉 😆😳

Anyway, my point being, this isn't something new. All Turkish waiters etc are most likely to be pretty smarmy around "beautiful English ladies" and it's a tale as old as the hills.

They just want a visa, of course. And a quick shag.

Run away. And don't do a me and give them your address, or you will get a letter a decade later, declaring undying love... 😳😳😳

Yes this in spades....

But it's good to know the societal norms of people you are considering dating.

Especially if they have shown signs of adhering to those norms!

Bear in mind Turkish men would not approach Turkish women (unless there lady’s of the night) or allow other Turkish men to approach there sisters/mums. People forget that it’s a Muslim country. The men make look modern but they literally have a culture and religion that doesn’t value women for want of a better word. They may even regard you as cheap as you’re not got a hijab and think Dinner out equals sex

And the post above mine said "do not sleep with this man". To which my comment was a direct reply.

About those reading skills...?

A holiday shag is great. Many users here clearly need one.

Ok don't then.

Just categorise him as a bloke, doing a Summer job and meeting 1000s of women tourists.

That should put things into perspective here.

I have no idea what you’re talking about. 💁‍♀️
you sound confused…

You're on holiday.. go have fun! Have dinner together if you like him. But any sort of "holiday romance" I'd leave on holiday! I'd tell your family too of your whereabouts for that safety peace of mind!

This thread is nothing but a list of stereotypes and xenophobia.

As OP clarified, he isn't actually Turkish

Go for dinner! It’s just dinner! But I wouldn’t consider a relationship with him long-term, nor would I be sleeping with him While on holiday

If you don't have any interest in sleeping with him you shouldn't bother going for dinner as he'll just constantly try it on.

You're not categorising people by their nationality, though, you're informing yourself of cultural norms.
He's Kurdish, which is a whole other thing. Look it up..

The culture in Turkey is completely different to that in the UK for starters. This Turk will be asking British women out for dinner probably on a daily basis.

You're in a foreign country on holiday. Do you know how you would get out of a sticky situation, should it arise? Back home you could 'ask for Angela' at the bar if you felt unsafe, or run out and jump on a bus. You'd be among people who speak the same language, so you can't really compare, however, a fellow Brit could just as likely want to get his leg over but as I've said, without the language and cultural barrier, it's not the same.

Best you do Your research. 👍

You will be just the one from this tour . Once the next lot of people arrive he will find another.
Listen to your dad .
He will just be interested in sex