Page 7 | Can’t stop this affair

HallieConstancex · 2025-08-29T18:32:30+00:00

I have been seeing a man for over a year and a half. He has a family (partner & 2 children). I’m not here for sympathy, I know I need to let go. his reasons for not leaving are his oldest daughter has a severe disability so his partner has given up work and he provides everything for them, so can’t just leave. he knows me better than anyone, yet I know I deserve to be taken out, showed off etc, instead of someone’s secret. I can’t do no contact, I have to see him every month at work. It’s not a situation where either of us can leave but I won’t get into it as it’s outing. How am I ever supposed to move on when he has to be in my life for atleast another year?

CNDflag · 29/08/2025 20:45

PiggingBastardPigs · 29/08/2025 20:43

And with a quick conclusion, all at the behest of mumsnet.

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I know! Who would have thunk it eh??!

MNBlip · 29/08/2025 20:45

TwistedWonder · 29/08/2025 20:39

Because using swear words is worse than fucking a married man - right ho

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Both are disgusting and crass.

Tangerinenets · 29/08/2025 20:45

Don’t you feel guilty at all? Ffs whilst I’m fully aware he’s the one that’s married so he’s the one who is cheating women like you make me sick. You’re both beyond disgusting.

SeptaUnellasBell · 29/08/2025 20:45

HallieConstancex · 29/08/2025 20:39

I get the message, I have blocked him.

Yeah course you have! You’ve gone from ‘can’t stop won’t stop’ to ‘I’ve blocked him’. Sure thing sugar!

arcticpandas · 29/08/2025 20:45

HallieConstancex · 29/08/2025 20:39

I get the message, I have blocked him.

I hope you realise that he's lying to everyone. Even with a disabled child he could get a divorce without abandoning the child. If there is such a child?

Anyway @HallieConstancex fast forward a couple of years. You're pregnant with a disabled child (could be genetic from his side) and while you have stopped working to care for your child your dh is out fucking affair partners giving them sob stories..
I am a sahm to a disabled child. My DH would never do this to me. I know this because he's got a moral compass, one of the reasons I fell in love with him. He's loyal to his family and friends and basically a decent human being. Could you say that about your love interest? Would you like to live with someone like that? Have his children? Think very hard OP.

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 29/08/2025 20:45

PiggingBastardPigs · 29/08/2025 20:43

And with a quick conclusion, all at the behest of mumsnet.

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🤣 Absolutely.
I'm all for the power of MN but that is record breakingly quick. Maybe the OP got bored or their mum's told them it's bedtime and the wi-fi's going off.

Original poster

HallieConstancex · 29/08/2025 20:46

AnnaSunshine · 29/08/2025 20:43

You are asking here for strength and support. That is a really good first step!

You have been clear with what you want (even though I’m sure you still feel a lot of emotions).

You need to share this with him and ask him to cease contact.

I would also suggest talking to someone. I don’t know if your friends are aware of the situation, but perhaps choose someone that you trust and share your decision to end this with them. This is the accountability. You are telling others.

It is going to be hard. You are ending a relationship where you still have feelings for the other person.

At the same time, you have a relationship with yourself and you want your actions to align with your values.

It is going to be one of those day at a time processes, but you can do this.

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Thank you so much 😭

OP posts:

Userifysysfiv · 29/08/2025 20:46

MNBlip · 29/08/2025 20:45

Both are disgusting and crass.

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But nowhere near the same, op is behaving appallingly

PiggingBastardPigs · 29/08/2025 20:46

AnnaSunshine · 29/08/2025 20:43

You are asking here for strength and support. That is a really good first step!

You have been clear with what you want (even though I’m sure you still feel a lot of emotions).

You need to share this with him and ask him to cease contact.

I would also suggest talking to someone. I don’t know if your friends are aware of the situation, but perhaps choose someone that you trust and share your decision to end this with them. This is the accountability. You are telling others.

It is going to be hard. You are ending a relationship where you still have feelings for the other person.

At the same time, you have a relationship with yourself and you want your actions to align with your values.

It is going to be one of those day at a time processes, but you can do this.

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Perfect. But you’re too late as the OP has come to her senses.

CarterBeatsTheDevil · 29/08/2025 20:46

How crap for his wife. He gets to go out and have a life separate from his daughter's and time to have a lovely affair with someone who treats him like he's God whilst her entire life is going to be caring for her daughter, and he's using the daughter whose care is delegated to his wife as an excuse for this unbelievable disloyalty.

PiggingBastardPigs · 29/08/2025 20:46

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 29/08/2025 20:45

🤣 Absolutely.
I'm all for the power of MN but that is record breakingly quick. Maybe the OP got bored or their mum's told them it's bedtime and the wi-fi's going off.

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I suspect much older than that…

MNBlip · 29/08/2025 20:47

Itsanewlife · 29/08/2025 20:43

I'm not going to jump on the bandwagon and take the moral high ground here. Life is complicated and messy, and sometime folks snatch moments of happiness where they can. However, it is clear this is not going to end well for you. This isn't a situation that is going to make you you feel happy, fulfilled and loved, as I'm sure you deserve, so maybe time to bite the bullet and end this.

Perfect answer. People need to take note on how to articulate themselves correctly.

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 29/08/2025 20:47

PiggingBastardPigs · 29/08/2025 20:46

Perfect. But you’re too late as the OP has come to her senses.

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And on the plus side fictitious wives usually get over affairs quite quickly.

PiggingBastardPigs · 29/08/2025 20:48

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 29/08/2025 20:47

And on the plus side fictitious wives usually get over affairs quite quickly.

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😁

Neemie · 29/08/2025 20:49

He hasn’t left his wife and children because he loves them, the status quo and his current financial situation more than he loves the idea of being with you. Unless his wife leaves him, he won’t leave her because he doesn’t want to.

TwistedWonder · 29/08/2025 20:50

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 29/08/2025 20:47

And on the plus side fictitious wives usually get over affairs quite quickly.

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And what’s the odds the OP finds a completely made up perfect man to show her off like she deserves?

PiggingBastardPigs · 29/08/2025 20:50

MNBlip · 29/08/2025 20:47

Perfect answer. People need to take note on how to articulate themselves correctly.

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Or articulate themselves at all…

Still, I can see you’re too busy playing the vicar to answer reasonable questions.

Buildingthefuture · 29/08/2025 20:50

MNBlip · 29/08/2025 20:40

The swearing is uncalled for. Adults should be able to conduct themselves without using vulgarities.

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Adults should also be able to conduct themselves without doing vulgar things. If they do vulgar things, people aren’t going to be polite about it and I can’t see how that is unexpected?

Userifysysfiv · 29/08/2025 20:50

MNBlip · 29/08/2025 20:47

Perfect answer. People need to take note on how to articulate themselves correctly.

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Ever been the betrayed spouse ? Because I have and completely understand that level of anger. A few swear words doesn’t destroy lives, but shagging about does

PiggingBastardPigs · 29/08/2025 20:50

TwistedWonder · 29/08/2025 20:50

And what’s the odds the OP finds a completely made up perfect man to show her off like she deserves?

Edited

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He was just waiting in the wings, scene 2, act 1.

PiggingBastardPigs · 29/08/2025 20:53

MNBlip · 29/08/2025 20:15

I read the thread I know. Naming calling is pretty childish. At least respond in an adult manner.

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Or don’t respond at all?

Original poster

HallieConstancex · 29/08/2025 20:53

@PiggingBastardPigs I know you think this isn’t real, but unfortunately it really is. My family and friends know and all obviously tell me it’s wrong however they love me and wouldn’t tell me as abruptly as strangers on here, hence why I did this post. To have this many replies ALL saying the same thing HAS made me see differently and you can believe that all you want, but it really has helped, including you.

OP posts:

MNBlip · 29/08/2025 20:53

Buildingthefuture · 29/08/2025 20:50

Adults should also be able to conduct themselves without doing vulgar things. If they do vulgar things, people aren’t going to be polite about it and I can’t see how that is unexpected?

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Yes they should. But throwing stones is just hypocritical unless you’re perfect. I doubt many people on here live perfect lives.

PiggingBastardPigs · 29/08/2025 20:54

Anyway, I’m feeling all religious now, I believe in goad, our kingdom come etc.,

PiggingBastardPigs · 29/08/2025 20:55

HallieConstancex · 29/08/2025 20:53

@PiggingBastardPigs I know you think this isn’t real, but unfortunately it really is. My family and friends know and all obviously tell me it’s wrong however they love me and wouldn’t tell me as abruptly as strangers on here, hence why I did this post. To have this many replies ALL saying the same thing HAS made me see differently and you can believe that all you want, but it really has helped, including you.

How do you know that you poor, defenceless child?