To tell my husband to stop saying this?

[cittykat]

my 9 year old son is a massive cat lover. He has cat slippers, tshirts, pens etc etc. I got him some cat pyjamas. These ones. https://amzn.to/45XnCwa

my husband (son’s dad) keeps telling him that he has to stop wearing them as they are girls’ pyjamas.

my son has said to him “please can you stop calling them girls’ pyjamas” and my husband says that he will be bullied if his friends see him wearing them. I have pointed out that the only one bullying him is his own father.

my husband says that telling him that they’re girls’ and not appropriate is not bullying it’s “parenting”

my husband thinks the shorts on the pyjamas are too short. Like little hot pants. Sometimes when son is lounging on the sofa they ride up and some bum cheek is visible. This angers husband and starts him off on his “girls’ pyjamas” conversation again.

son likes the pyjamas. I said I would ask on here what people thought. Please vote.

YANBU - your husband should stop calling them “girls’ pyjamas” to your son and back off

YABU - your son shouldn’t wear the pyjamas and your husband is right to protect him from future bullying if son’s friends saw the pyjamas on a sleepover.

Husband dislikes the pyjamas because the shorts are very short and to him the style should only be worn by girls
@cittykat
Surely if they're too short for a boy to wear they'd be too short for a girl to wear? I don't understand your husband's "logic" there.

Clothes being gendered is a social construct rooted in misogyny.

Why is your husband so bothered anyway, is he worried your son might be gay? That's a red flag right there.

No, they don't fit him, the shorts clearly don't.
This is all very odd. He should only be wearing pyjamas just before bed anyway.

They are PJs that your son is wearing in the house. I don't see an issue. He should be able to wear what he wants in his home without the worry of criticism.

However, clothes are cut differently for boys and girls. Girls shorts are shorter. I actually buy my girls' clothes from the boys' section because of this.

You can get some lovely cat stuff from the RSPCA and the Cats Protection League. They cost more than supermarkets but at least the money goes to charity.

He should only be wearing pyjamas just before bed anyway

Says who? Why do people think their opinion is fact?

I wonder how your OH would have coped with my lovely GS who used to lounge about in his sister's sparkly fairy outfit! - and plastic high heeled mules!

He is now a stereotypical adult male.

Now is the time to teach your son about resilience and to stick up for himself

dad might be an idiot but son needs to just say, well I like them so it doesn’t matter what you think dad.

and should DH stop bullying son over it now son has asked husband to stop mentioning it. @cittykat

A father should never bully his own child or any child for that matter, regardless of the issue, regardless of who's asked him to stop.

But even more so as it's obviously distressing your son, so of course he should stop bullying (abusing) his child.

They fit him absolutely fine. They are a size bigger than he normally wears.

They clearly do not fit him absolutely fine if they're showing his bum. It's a weird hill to die on but you do.

Why?

Only when he sits in certain positions! When women sit or stand in certain positions wearing short skirts and dresses you can see arse, should short dresses and short skirts all be banned?

To me this is two things

To let him wear those PJs as they are, YABU. They sound awful and I am not surprised your husband is uncomfortable.

To object to your husband treating your son like this, bullying him and potentially even making him feel bad for who is he now and who he may grow up to be, YANBU.

Can he wear the cat top with joggers?

Can you go online to one of the many companies that do bespoke t-shirts for quite cheap and get him a load of cat themed things?

I am surprised that your husband hasn't just waited until he has left for school, chucked the shorts in the bin (at work, so so would never be able to find them) and then claimed ignorance. That's what I would have done. And yes, I am very scheming.

Did your son ask for this specific pair or did you choose to buy them?

Your husband is being an arse.

My son also loves cats. It is difficult to find cat stuff where they don't have bows in their hair etc. which he wouldn't have liked because he doesn't like cartoons. When he was younger, I would get him plain pyjama bottoms and the you can find some cat t-shirts that aren't prettied up. I'll try and find some, although it has been years since I bought any.

I also made him a pillow out of cat fabric. I'll try and find it

Sounds fab. 🤩

OP it does actually say on the link that these are girls’ pj’s. Not that l think that excuses your DH’s behaviour, but a quick google reveals plenty of cat designs for boys. Maybe a compromise would be for him to wear the top with different shorts. I think the priority here is to shut down the comments, and maybe have a quiet conversation with your DH to point out that he’s subjecting his child to bullying behaviour in his own home.

Complain to the supplier that they should not label them as "girls" just as childrens.

Would your dick of a husband be any happier with these? https://www.marksandspencer.com/pure-cotton-surf-cat-pyjamas-1-16-yrs-/p/clp60736421

and I'd buy him a set of these to wear - they are blue and long www.amazon.co.uk/Girls-Black-Pyjamas-Print-15-16/dp/B07FTSFHDF/ref=pd_day0fbt_thbs_d_sccl_2/257-1363191-8062547?pd_rd_w=ZJ3sE&content-id=amzn1.sym.11a4d54e-1e50-4bfa-9630-b6658636e953&pf_rd_p=11a4d54e-1e50-4bfa-9630-b6658636e953&pf_rd_r=NBAKDXK5VR8EG9RX4M9B&pd_rd_wg=hPfR9&pd_rd_r=e8e7e1aa-32de-445c-8800-2591aedff67a&pd_rd_i=B07FTSFHDF&th=1&psc=1

This talk of being cut differently for girls is it a bit ridiculous at that age. Why would girls need a shorter short for their bodies?

I doubt people would have any issues if there was a 9yr old girl buying pjs from the ‘boys section’.

Your husband sounds like a revolting bully, is this really the role model you want your children to grow up with?

Clearly this is not marketed at boys and is not a design most boys approaching senior school would be interested in wearing. Personally I think the husband is more concerned at his son being babied although it's interesting how opinion swings because we all know what things people would be saying to OP about how he's being damaged and it is causing him to be bullied if he was still wearing these in another year or two. Such are the double standards of the MN massive.

Grown women can wear what they want and expose what they want. But not little children in my opinion. Of either sex.

I like the boys one. Might be tempted to get a pair myself if I thought there was any danger of me being able to fit my fat (female) arse into the size 15-16.

But if they are riding up to expose his arse they don't fit him absolutely fine do they

Unfortunately they probably don’t. Boys are only allowed to wear sports, gaming and superhero themed clothes it seems.

I agree that they’re clearly girls pyjamas and designed as such. I think your DH may be right to be concerned about bullying. It’s all well and good making a point about gender stereotypes but don’t expect your DS to have the courage of your convictions, keep the top but get some more appropriate bottoms as a compromise. (It’s most likely the top it he loves anyway).

Tell your dh he can shell out £55(!) for these more ‘boyish’ cat pyjamas, if he likes! (Photo will have to be approved, I think, before you can see it).
As for the current pjs, I can imagine that at a sleepover, unfortunately he might get some comments - kids can be brutal, but your ds should feel comfortable wearing what he wants to, in his own home.

Unless he’s wearing his pyjamas out on the street, who is going to bully him?

It's depressing that so many men believe in regressive gender nonsense, especially for their sons; and that so many women don't see this as a red flag, or even check what he thinks, before having kids with him.