To tell my husband to stop saying this?

[cittykat]

my 9 year old son is a massive cat lover. He has cat slippers, tshirts, pens etc etc. I got him some cat pyjamas. These ones. https://amzn.to/45XnCwa

my husband (son’s dad) keeps telling him that he has to stop wearing them as they are girls’ pyjamas.

my son has said to him “please can you stop calling them girls’ pyjamas” and my husband says that he will be bullied if his friends see him wearing them. I have pointed out that the only one bullying him is his own father.

my husband says that telling him that they’re girls’ and not appropriate is not bullying it’s “parenting”

my husband thinks the shorts on the pyjamas are too short. Like little hot pants. Sometimes when son is lounging on the sofa they ride up and some bum cheek is visible. This angers husband and starts him off on his “girls’ pyjamas” conversation again.

son likes the pyjamas. I said I would ask on here what people thought. Please vote.

YANBU - your husband should stop calling them “girls’ pyjamas” to your son and back off

YABU - your son shouldn’t wear the pyjamas and your husband is right to protect him from future bullying if son’s friends saw the pyjamas on a sleepover.

This is more of the concern. That he thinks revealing/very short clothes are for girls to wear.

He shouldn't be saying he cant wear them because its a cat print. But if they dont fit him then i agree. Thats just sensible. If something is to small for my children I buy a bigger size.
To be fair its the top thats more cat related. Why cant he wear different pj's shorts with the top?

Your husband is a bit of a creep as well as a bully.

Biologically not true. Girls tend to be slightly bigger and heavier at that age due to an earlier onset of puberty. If anything, girls pyjamas should be cut larger in the bum and hips.

Can you please show your husband this personal message to him from me?

You are a wanker.

Who needs to worry about school bullies when you’re own father does it in the comfort of your home 😒

It sounds like the shorts are too small, that's all. Why not just get some plain pyjama pants (that fit) and wear them with a cat t-shirt? We are heading into winter now anyway so just get some long pyjama pants.

I have mo problem with people wearing whatever they want, my DS is right now the same size as me and he wears lots of my clothes (and me his). But teeny pyjama shorts on a boy is really not a good look. Nothing to do with stereotyping.

I'm the one who posted the link. So I did 'say that'. I haven't hidden what the pyjamas are, I'm not ignoring that 🤨

And my post says (quote) "the difficulty is that it seems hard to find “boys” short sleeved summer pyjamas with a cat print. Otherwise I would have bought them in the first place."

It's fine for your son to wear what he wants, inside or outside the house.

If there is an issue with an item of clothing - i.e. slightly more revealing than would be ideal in social situations, then the answer to that is to keep them for home and not sleepovers.

My DS went through a phase when he was about 4 wanting to wear some fairy wings. He wore them a lot for about a month. The only time DH made him take them off was when he was taking DS out in the car and he couldn't wear the wings in the car seat. Once they got to where they were going, the wings were back on. So I feel your DH is unreasonable and is sending a message to your son that he has to conform to stereotypes.

DS would have worn similar if the picture was of a different animal.

Maybe the shorts don't fit quite right as they are designed for girls bodies not boys. But that's more about the style and shape than the actual picture.

For something loose fitting like pyjamas, what's the difference?

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Mnsruu-Colorful-Short-Sleeve-Sleepwear-Pajamas/dp/B0F7PKRFFT/ref=mp_s_a_1_11?adgrpid=50728474222&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.p-IWdimb0uzGxbC9Jq6z_8pKGj_ewIaeLQ2v95Dt302uWG9PM9WBtvhCfV0LsIfOJFSdbf1WDJGU-3v3dOLLlBGZnor0ZqLUCyJ4owihfk6AbqNIdx0CYjVTr2IbPLjAoFKJ2542lyAWH3LOL9S_w35K7DeQN868VSrHG__hMGVuEyQD6vt63StbKYdYIXzDlqCgsG82GZjuhfgVcR9lhD3RywlR3hd7iRKN0T-m80rbQzeBn4iNmAICesIOAYJSUeTbMkqbpibvAJY-152B9uDXA_qxLK373oWQG9hp8Pc.H2SiGTkPuGAdoT756__s2PIdG2L99vCQGsFVUWjiLTA&dib_tag=se&gad_source=1&hvadid=578555495717&hvdev=m&hvexpln=0&hvlocphy=9045791&hvnetw=g&hvocijid=12435353720159030236--&hvqmt=e&hvrand=12435353720159030236&hvtargid=kwd-316909410393&hydadcr=17347_2155003&keywords=boys+cat+pyjamas&mcid=5ab971857fdf3b0d8e7803d4cab4c4e7&qid=1756452321&sr=8-11

These are cute for a Xmas present!

They are advertised as unisex.

Hard to tell if your DH is being unreasonable re cut but his language and delivery is awful and I would be telling him to stop.

Surely it’s not a good look on a girl either?

Black Fluffy Cat Dragonfly Pyjamas Set 2 Pieces Sleepwear Nightwear Long Sleeve Pajama Tops Pants Girls Boys : Amazon.co.uk: Fashion

It’s not about the pyjamas but how the father is talking to his child.

They are girls pjs but so what? He will be growing and summer is nearly over so they won’t be worn for much longer.

If the father really had a problem with them, he could have hidden them, said they got ruined in the washing machine, bought different ones, but he didn’t he chose to take the piss out of his own child, constantly.

Absolutely this!

My thought exactly. Why is it ok for a girl to accidentally show a bum cheek but not a boy?
Twat dad.

Does your husband think he will catch gayness if he wears girls pyjamas? You need to laugh him out of it.

I would agree with your husband if they were girly but when I looked at them they aren’t! They look unisex to me and I am very traditional about girls and boys things.

I do think though that it’s reasonable not to have your bum cheeks hanging out so I would buy plain shorts that fit him better to wear with the cat top.

My dad used to say obnoxious things under the same guise of 'but she'll be bullied' it just meant I was bullied at home by my dad - as well as at school for entirely different things. It taught me that I deserved to be bullied.

Why on Earth would a child be bullied for their PJs that their friends do not see. Also, since when are cats only for girls?

I'd happily put my own 9yo DS in them, but in terms of "winning the argument" you don't really have a leg to stand on if the advert states "girls'", so your DH could simply revert to questioning that. In fact that might even be what's happened, and his disapproval of eg the shorts is just confirmation bias.

You can see the shorts on the link. They aren't unusually short. Just in husband's opinion which is what this whole thing hinges on really.

Son wears a size 9-10 or 10-11 normally and owns these pyjamas in a size up, he has the 11-12 size.

Better not show your husband that link then, OP, since it will only confirm his idea that they are girls' pyjamas.

I agree he needs a size bigger if his bum is hanging out. The most concerning thing is that your husband appears to think its okay for girls to expose their bum cheeks but not boys.

Do you have any daughters?

Your marriage Op… otherwise ok?

I wonder if his dad is uncomfortable about the fact that the PJs are so revealing and is clumsily trying to turn your son off them?

So if you had a daughter wearing spiderman pj's would he say they are boys pj's. I think not.