To tell my husband to stop saying this?

[cittykat]

my 9 year old son is a massive cat lover. He has cat slippers, tshirts, pens etc etc. I got him some cat pyjamas. These ones. https://amzn.to/45XnCwa

my husband (son’s dad) keeps telling him that he has to stop wearing them as they are girls’ pyjamas.

my son has said to him “please can you stop calling them girls’ pyjamas” and my husband says that he will be bullied if his friends see him wearing them. I have pointed out that the only one bullying him is his own father.

my husband says that telling him that they’re girls’ and not appropriate is not bullying it’s “parenting”

my husband thinks the shorts on the pyjamas are too short. Like little hot pants. Sometimes when son is lounging on the sofa they ride up and some bum cheek is visible. This angers husband and starts him off on his “girls’ pyjamas” conversation again.

son likes the pyjamas. I said I would ask on here what people thought. Please vote.

YANBU - your husband should stop calling them “girls’ pyjamas” to your son and back off

YABU - your son shouldn’t wear the pyjamas and your husband is right to protect him from future bullying if son’s friends saw the pyjamas on a sleepover.

Your husband should get over it. He’s not really worried about your son but he feels his own masculinity is threatened in some way.

amzn.eu/d/0YiZSlm

Well he’s not wrong in that they are girls PJ’s, and I would probably agree that other boys his age would pick up on that so I would be wary of him taking them to a sleepover but I don’t see what difference it makes what he wears in his own home

For everyone saying she shouldn’t have bought “girls pyjamas” - When on Amazon people tend to search “girl pyjamas” or “boys pyjamas” etc in order to narrow down the search. Sellers know this and even if the items are unisex, putting a specific gender in the title gives them more chance of their products being returned on searches. Amazon product titles are created to catch the search, not always to relay actual details. Having “girls” in the title does not necessarily mean they were designed for girls.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Anantty-Pyjamas-Kitten-Nightwear-Teenagers/dp/B0CCCWQ4NS

These are billed as boys pyjamas but would be fine for girls as well so most things are unisex these days!

Your son is 9, not 5 so I can see where your husband is coming from here.

You are correct the only person bullying is your husband. However i wouldn't have my 9 yo wearing shorts that I could see his backside i would swap the shorts for a pair of generic pj shorts

So do I!

DS loves cats and has cat pyjamas from the girls section of John Lewis, and a sparkly black cat onesie. I wouldn't buy a 9 year old of either sex pyjamas that show their bottoms

My concern here would be arounf this: my husband thinks the shorts on the pyjamas are too short. Like little hot pants. Sometimes when son is lounging on the sofa they ride up and some bum cheek is visible. This angers husband and starts him off on his “girls’ pyjamas” conversation again
Like he thinks young girls should be showing their arse in clothes. Not boys. Rather than wtf are girls clothes so short.

can you get a pair of matching colour but plain longer pj shorts?

Are you a man.

Yeah why?

I have SILs they don’t want their sons in ‘girls’ clothes however politically incorrect that is

Your DH sounds like a dick. But children shouldn't have their bums hanging out of their pjs. If the shorts are too short he needs bigger ones, without cat print if need be. Just get him a plain pair of shorts that actually fit him.

You’re right that girls are shaped differently too, but in terms of the length of the shorts, boys are generally taller by that age.

It sounds like the pjs aren't appropriate because of the way they fit. Those other ones linked won't risk your ds flashing accidentally!

Then they aren’t appropriate. If they don’t cover him then they aren’t appropriate and would not be appropriate for a girl either.

The question isn't really are the labelled as girls or not. We can see they are (although I don't know why they are)

Husband knows they are. That's what has started this whole thing.

The question is should son be allowed to continue wearing them, and should DH stop bullying son over it now son has asked husband to stop mentioning it.

They fit him absolutely fine. They are a size bigger than he normally wears.

If hes only wearing them at home and to bed then who cares if there’s a bit of cheek or the shorts are a bit small. It’s about him being comfortable in his own home. Unless your husband has him involved in some sort of school pyjama fashion show where he could have an inbetweeners style incident, who cares!

One of my sons loves cats.

He's had a cat themed birthday party in the past. He's had cat t-shirts from the girls section and cat pyjamas.

None of his school friends bat an eyelid.

His dad embraces it wholeheartedly.

My son also likes nail varnish on his toes sometimes and his dad will just say "cool colours!".

Because he's not a misogynistic bully.

The misogyny in the gendering of kids clothing is quite an eye opener. Boys get "tough" animals like lions, dinos, wolves/dogs, etc. Girls get cutesy animals like cats and bunnies and butterflies. 🙄😡 Girls clothing is also more closely fitting and shows more skin eg shorter shorts, more open collars, shorter cap sleeves on tees etc. I shop in both girls and boys sections for my kids depending what they like or need.

I like scandi clothing as it's more gender neutral. Brands like maxomorra or duns have made some cat prints.

OP your husband is a bully who needs to think why he's so bothered by this. His hatred is showing and he's directing it as his own child! 😢

Is your husband insecure in his masculinity? A bit of a homophobe? Fairly unreconstructed?

They are pjs. They are typically marketed to girls, but at that age they aren't going to be cut with a narrow waist, wide hips or contain a bralette, so in reality they are unisex.

The only reason for your husband to be uncomfortable is because he feels worried by the idea of your son being feminine or associated with something 'girly'. That an prejudice for him to address. He needs to stop being a wanker to your son about it.

They don't fit him fine if his bum is exposed.

Ah that well known symbol of girlie's, the cat! Your husband's an arsehole.Get some PJS that fit your son and stitch some cat motifs on them.

No one is contesting that they are girls pyjamas. We are incredulous that this boys dad cares one way or the other. A company has decided to market their pyjamas for girls, thats it. They are just pyjamas.

They are girls pyjamas, it says so on the link. Yes, the shorts are feminine and designed for a girls body.

I'd probably let my son wear the top and by him some more appropriate shorts. They're riding up his leg so you can see his bum? Yeah, I'd just get him some different shorts.

Surely they sell cat pyjamas for boys?