To ask, politely, and seriously, if you are in your 50s, what do you look like naked?

[Dontfuckingsaycheese]

Hi.
I’ll cut to the chase. I’m 55 and single (happily for the last 15 years or so).
This year, following a rather exciting reboot, I decided to try online dating and I have been having a lot of fun. Met a few nice men. No nasty ones 🙂 I have also fallen in love with my body again and have lost over 3 stone so now just over 9.5 stone.
I am amazed at how good this 55 year-old body looks, FROM SOME ANGLES AND IN SOME POSITIONS. I’ve been making a few videos and stills and I can look damn 🔥
However, I am alarmed how I look, mainly from the front, if I lean forward. Everything prunes, falls and elongates, and it’s scary!! I have met a man online who I am absolutely obsessed by. For a few reasons, it’s been a few months and we haven’t met yet. We’re due to meet up next month. He’s seen some pics and videos of me and loved them, but of course, I’ve been able to carefully curate them. I don’t want him to be disappointed in how bits of me look. I feel like I should warn him in some way. I know it shouldn’t matter, and he should like me as a person, but things have been tres flirty and I’m very keen to make it physical 😉 I feel like just explaining I’m aware there’s parts of me that are a bit time-ravaged. He’s a little older than me, so wondering if it’s the same for him… So he’ll understand I mean, and not run for the hills. I’m thinking of explaining this in terms of wanting to feel confident in bed, so it may be that, at times maybe I may wish to wear a top or something…
I’m wondering how others feel, any pearls of wisdom, advice, reassurance, amusing anecdotes to make me feel better… 🤔

Your natural body reflects your whole life and is a map. Nobody is perfect. Gravity takes over. You cannot turn back time and would you want to? Maybe. Love your body as it reflects everything that has happened in your life.

OP there is no way on earth this is a good idea! Confidence is the sexiest thing ever, don’t go around apologising for yourself.

Also on a practical note I’d be very wary of revealing any insecurities to someone that you haven’t met. Just as a general point, it’s not a good idea.

I hope when you do meet it goes well.

To be blunt, in my opinion you’ve already given away too much don’t let him have your insecurities as well.

You're behaving like a 16 year old in the first flush of infatuation. Fallen for a sweet talker who can't be bothered to see you.

Not a woman mid 50s.

Ditch him or insist he sees you in the next 7 days or it's over.

Nasty.
Its not weird.. or obsessed...to want to feel desired.

Oh I'm definitely more saggy than I was a few years ago but, do you know what, I'm growing to love myself as I am. I couldn't give a shiny shite what a man thinks of my body so that helps.

While your thoughts are concentrated on this user, you're not open to meeting someone decent.
No good is going to come of this, even if he does show up. You will never be sitting with him in ten years time laughing at when you sent him videos.
I fear you're heading for a fall which will really knock your confidence.

I never had the body I would have liked (skinny, and not curvy enough as it happens) but I learnt in my 20s that it's confidence that makes you attractive. Believe you are attractive (sounds like you're a long way there) and act like it. You'll be fine. But don't over invest - you don't really know him yet.

Really? You don’t want someone to be attracted to you?

My attractiveness is not driven by my body. I have a partner who adores the bones of me, whatever my body looks like.

I think we owe it to ourselves, for ourselves, to keep fit, healthy and a sensible weight. Not for a man but for a healthy old age.
Things that may come with age and are unavoidable, like broken veins, or a bit of sagging here and there, that's different. But even they can be minimised if you want to spend time and money.

You are really over invested in this man and you haven't even met him. I would be concerned he has photos and videos of me (and other women) probably. You need a first coffee date and take it from there.

I'm average I think for my age but I need to lose at least a stone. I'm small so any weight looks a lot. But I'm in my 50s and I've yet to see any man in real life look as good as most women do.

You are really over invested in this man and you haven't even met him. I would be concerned he has photos and videos of me (and other women) probably. You need a first coffee date and take it from there.

I'm average I think for my age but I need to lose at least a stone. I'm small so any weight looks a lot. But I'm in my 50s and I've yet to see any man in real life look as good as most women do.

TBF this is how me and DP met. We matched on an app a couple of days before he went on a long trip abroad which lasted nearly three months. We got on so well we ended up talking every day so it was quite high stakes and nerve wracking finally meeting in person in case we didn't fancy each other IRL! Luckily he was absolutely lovely and we've been together ten years and are getting married 😁

But if you were dating now, would you still feel that way?
Most people are physically attracted to each other at least initially and it's daft to pretend otherwise.

I do keep myself fit and healthy and a sensible weight...I said my body was more saggy than it was. Nowt I can do about that...except spend a ridiculous amount on treatments that will eventually fail.

I am dating now...I'm dating my partner. We don't live together, I am dating him. I would probably feel the same, yes. I am utterly secure in what I bring to the table. I'm pretty, smart, funny, incredibly successful in my job, creative and have built myself a wonderful home and family. I do have a very sexy, strong, fit and attractive body...its just a little saggier than it used to be. Who said I wasn't physically attractive? I certainly didn't.

Soft lighting, lovely underwear, seductive smile, couple of glasses of wine...

I look okay at 51 but have lumps and saggy bits despite being quite fit. I suspect the vast majority of women are the same, with the odd exception.

Don’t warn him, for god’s sake OP. If you play small you will be treated small. Hold on to your pride in how you look, warts and all.

Do you really want a man who can’t handle the reality of a grown woman’s body, and thinks we should all look like pornstars or 21 year olds?

See the post about the man who’s grossed out by his partner mentioning that she has a period. I despair.

Hopefully this man you’re going to meet can deal with real women’s bodies.

Good luck.

Just at an appointment so will read properly later, but just to clarify.
I normally prioritise meet-up asap, but there are valid reasons for not doing here. I won’t be sharing them here.
He has never asked me to send anything. That was my choice.
There is an absolute wealth of all sorts of free porn available online. Nobody needs to pay for it if they don’t want to.

You are coming across slightly desperate and therefore making yourself vulnerable. Please dont put him on a pedestal and do get some videos of him back. You need to make this more equal with him. I hope your face wasn't in the videos.
Think about it carefully. What would you gain by telling him? I can't think of a single positive outcome except he reassures you in the short term? The alternatives are you've given him your insecurities, he blames you if he can't perform, he negs you, he feels superior and you have a power imbalance.

No harm to you but some of the stuff that comes with age might make you less fit and less healthy (as in my case). And it’s not something I could help so you need to check your privilege.

Theres nothing I can do about that. But my partner still thinks I’m gorgeous (and I think he is).

Yeh I get the prune-ing at some angles. Am currently trying to abate it by drinking plenty of water, collagen supplements and rich moisturisers. Also try microneedling at home or in a salon, it takes time apparently but some good results have been reported.
Enjoy your new found body!

Im 54. Body is not what I'd love but never has been tbh. I'm small not much of a waist and small hips. Not much of a bum but good legs. Oh and always had a tummy even whrn quite a bit lighter ! I'd like to be more womanly shaped but never have been. In reality body hasn't changed that much I think 😊

I am a woman in my 50s. When I look in the mirror critically which I do occasionally all I see is faults. When I look in the mirror appreciatively which I do normally I see beauty and strength. I hope you can do this too x