To refuse a boob job after DH said mine are “wrecked” post DC4?

[Hoistraft]

bit of background first. ive just had DC4 about 6 weeks ago. total shock, was on the pill and it failed. tbh DH wasnt exactly over the moon about it, hes been a bit grumpy about the whole thing and weve been snapping at each other more than usual. im knackered, breastfeeding round the clock, house looks like a bomb site and i dont even know what day it is half the time.

so yesterday i was getting changed and he just comes out with “you should think about getting your boobs done, they’re a bit wrecked now after 4 kids”. i laughed it off at first but then he said he was serious and that “it would be good for both of us” if i sorted them. he keeps saying he’s only being honest and that it’s not a big deal these days.

i feel really rubbish now. yes theyre not what they were at 20 but i grew and fed 4 children with them and atm i actually think my body deserves a medal not a surgeon. im exhausted, hormonal and the last thing on my mind is cosmetic surgery. but part of me is wondering if im letting myself go and maybe hes right?

AIBU to flat out refuse or is it selfish to just expect him to accept me as i am now?

I’m just coming back again to say essentially the same thing as I did before, as I am so enraged on your behalf. But I’m going to say it more strongly this time - he is utterly, utterly disgusting and despicable. He deserves you to leave him as soon as you can practically organise to take him for everything he’s got. This man deserves to be terminally alone and to have the reasons for this broadcast as widely as possible to everyone you both know - friends, family and colleagues. He is an absolutely misogynistic cunt. I wish you well and want you to know that no man with even a scrap of decency would ever even consider saying something like this.

ETA: Please (if you feel safe doing so) do slowly read him out every single response from this thread, ideally with his mother in the room, and any other female relatives who have the misfortune to be related to him.

If you think that, report rather than troll hunting.

I think he's suffering from this.

Women put up with men beating them, raping them, cheating on them. You think this can't be real? I wish I lived in your world.

We can't keep doing this"

No we won't be you tell him - I've put up with your too small penis and saggy balls for too long , added to this your pot belly and receding hairline .....

I'm amazed he is still in one piece

I would definitely show him this thread

What a knob

I hope none of your 4dc are girls. What a fucking misogynist. Why does he want you to have the tits of a 21yo? What a dirty fucking thick weirdo.

I'd say the money would be better spent on a penis enlargement operation for him.

I'd have gone nuclear at him.
I think divorce is better than murder. Less jail time and more wine.
How effing dare he...communicate how disrespectful he is being and what a negative, draining grumpy old man he has become. Amd how unattractive that is. How upsetting his dogs and insults are. How they make you want to run as far away as possible and you need his support not his hyper -critical attitude.

Add a belly liposuction and a hair transplant. He must see himself as some sort of Adonis?

It's definitely him at fault here op. What a manchild. Does he think you are an inflatable doll. Inflate, Deflate. Inflate, deflate.

You've EARNED those breasts! Pin a medal on each one.

What is the matter with you?

she’s just had a baby, she has three other children and a massive arsehole for a husband.

The only thing she needs to work out is whether she wants anything to do with him again.

I’ve lost just over 5 stone I’ve got boobs like spaniels ears, my upper arms, upper thighs and belly look like they melted. My DH has said nothing but nice things about how well I’ve done. It seems like your DH is trying to be hurtful, the fact that he picked up on you being unhappy with his comments and dug in and said it again suggests that he intends to be hurtful. Is this unusual for him or are there deeper problems than just the generally tiredness and emotions around having a new baby in the house?

I thought the same thing: his comments were intentionally demeaning and vindictive and he sounds angry with you op.

Or he's just a big twat who places too much importance on boobs ...

Also most women ( and actually their partners too) actually grow up quite a lot after having children such that pert boobs aren't really high on their list of "Things That Really Matter In Life."

Please show him this thread.

I’m so sorry that you’re married to this sort of “man”. Ask him for the money and spend it on a divorce lawyer.

I’ll blinking slap the pr**k around the head with them. 😡

That would be the last time he saw them or any other part of me.

Suggest he gets a bollock lift and cock tightening. Just say they aren't as functional nor as fun as they used to be babe and we'd both benefit. See how he likes it, x

'Mumsnet amazes me every day, the shit people put up with in relationships and why on earth they don't instead choose to be single blows my mind. Your husband is a foul misogynist, he disgusts me.'

As a society we need to move away from teaching girls about romantic love and couples and pairing off with men as the ultimate goal. They have always damaged and destroyed and abused and they're getting worse.

If I could talk to my teenage self I would tell her to pour her energy into herself and fucking forget about men.

'I’ll blinking slap the prk around the head with them.'

There you go OP. Knock the cunt out with them. That'll shut him up for a while.

i don’t want surgery, full stop. i guess i just wanted to check i’m not being stubborn or selfish by refusing @Hoistraft

This is so crazy. You've mentioned it at least twice now that you think you might be selfish for refusing surgery.

Surgery on your own body.

You own your body. No one else does, only you.

What you do with your own body is your business,

No one including your DH has the right to tell you what to do with your body, or to expect you to do anything with your body.

I'm both sad and exasperated for you, how do you not feel this?

Please do something for you and your body, a nice body lotion, bath, new top, yoga, anything that makes you feel proud and connected to yourself 💐

So sorry he’s such an arsehole.
That is all I can really say in response to such misogynistic cruelty. I hope you get your own back one day in some form.

Reported you for such a nasty comment. Vile