To refuse a boob job after DH said mine are “wrecked” post DC4?

[Hoistraft]

bit of background first. ive just had DC4 about 6 weeks ago. total shock, was on the pill and it failed. tbh DH wasnt exactly over the moon about it, hes been a bit grumpy about the whole thing and weve been snapping at each other more than usual. im knackered, breastfeeding round the clock, house looks like a bomb site and i dont even know what day it is half the time.

so yesterday i was getting changed and he just comes out with “you should think about getting your boobs done, they’re a bit wrecked now after 4 kids”. i laughed it off at first but then he said he was serious and that “it would be good for both of us” if i sorted them. he keeps saying he’s only being honest and that it’s not a big deal these days.

i feel really rubbish now. yes theyre not what they were at 20 but i grew and fed 4 children with them and atm i actually think my body deserves a medal not a surgeon. im exhausted, hormonal and the last thing on my mind is cosmetic surgery. but part of me is wondering if im letting myself go and maybe hes right?

AIBU to flat out refuse or is it selfish to just expect him to accept me as i am now?

I think the other awful thing is that you’re a mother of 4 and no surgery is guaranteed to go entirely smoothly so the fact that he would needlessly put your health - possibly life at risk for his (lets face it) personal sexual gratification, just highlights what a massive A hole he is. I’m very sorry that you have him as your DH saying this shite when he should be being your biggest cheerleader right now and encouraging and supporting you to bounce back to health.

Urgh - just urgh! 💐

And i was thinking is he going to say about change in your vigina if you ever have sex with him again ?
Edited to say. dont let him belittle you in anyway.

I think he is lucky they are still too tender from breastfeeding so you couldn't bludgeon him to death with one. Or suffocate him.
😂😂😂

Oh my gosh I hate him so much I actually want to come and throw a brick at his head. I want to do violence to him in a way he won't like.

The only breast surgery to be considered is a reduction. My friend had awful issues with her back pain which were fixed by a breast reduction. Putting a foreign object into your body is just stupid.

I know two men who when unexpected babies were announced both rushed to book in for a vasectomy. Tell him it's time.

Please get a cleaner. Mine is brilliant I wish I'd booked one sooner instead of struggling so long

Tell him to stop getting you pregnant then.
Better still, take the decision out of his hands and tell him to get to his mother's. And stay there.

Sorry but...what a prick!!

Ask him for £20k to get your boobs done... then run off with it and your DC.

They would be on bed rest for a year while having therapy to get over the trauma

He's an idiot if can't see ur worth U brought 4 kids into this world not him!!!!!!.
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh I am soooooooo angry 😠 why is it men are soooooooo mean and hurtful!!

Wooaahhhhhhh. What an absolute idiot he is.

No offence but I’d purposely not get them… what a knob. There’s nothing that grinds my gears more than a man commenting on his partners looks, and vice versa. Especially after childbirth. DP has never once belittled my looks. He’s always trying to lift my spirits. I’m not one for compliments but it does make me feel good that he still thinks that.

I would commission someone to make a cross stitch of his fabulous quote and send it to the in-laws when they ask why you divorced.

Ask him how much he's prepared to spend on it and then spend it all on getting help around the house.

I wouldn't have sex with him again until he'd had a vasectomy. Or ever, tbh.

Thoughtless selfish fucker.

Sounds like this little dick needs one. A large one

Even as a joke his comment was unfunny and disgusting. I could never let him touch me again. This would absolutely end it for me, no exaggeration. Every time he came near me I'd be thinking - and saying - "I thought you said my tits were wrecked? Why do you want to touch them then?"

First, I would make unflattering comments about his cock, arse, sagging belly, anything possible. Regularly. Then, after I had divorced him I would get a boob job, or at least I'd tell him I had and make sure everyone knew how fantastic my plastic boobs look and how much the new boyfriend was enjoying them.

This little dick needs one. A large one

Perhaps you could try working out. Work out to tighten everything, But if the boobs are sagging, only plastic surgery will fix the issue.

I hope this man has no pot belly, exhibits some washboard abs and is fit as hell otherwise I would let him know that he looked way more handsome back in the days when you met him and encourage him to join a gym and go on a diet "for the good of both of us". Once he looks like Brad Pitt maybe you might consider going under the knife.

And the fact is, he meant it. Nobody says your boobs are wrecked if they are not thinking it.

Tell him it would be good for both of you if he shut the fuck up

I would like to volunteer to give him an at-home vasectomy using my recently sharpened bypass pruning shears

If you do it, be careful to schedule in enough time so that he's fully recovered from his penis enlargement and able to wrangle the children on his own while you're having and recovering from breast surgery.

Oh my. I'm not one to quickly say LTB. But that comment definitely deserves it.
So he'd rather you get a boob job despite the fact that they're actively in use feeding your child!!