To refuse a boob job after DH said mine are “wrecked” post DC4?

[Hoistraft]

bit of background first. ive just had DC4 about 6 weeks ago. total shock, was on the pill and it failed. tbh DH wasnt exactly over the moon about it, hes been a bit grumpy about the whole thing and weve been snapping at each other more than usual. im knackered, breastfeeding round the clock, house looks like a bomb site and i dont even know what day it is half the time.

so yesterday i was getting changed and he just comes out with “you should think about getting your boobs done, they’re a bit wrecked now after 4 kids”. i laughed it off at first but then he said he was serious and that “it would be good for both of us” if i sorted them. he keeps saying he’s only being honest and that it’s not a big deal these days.

i feel really rubbish now. yes theyre not what they were at 20 but i grew and fed 4 children with them and atm i actually think my body deserves a medal not a surgeon. im exhausted, hormonal and the last thing on my mind is cosmetic surgery. but part of me is wondering if im letting myself go and maybe hes right?

AIBU to flat out refuse or is it selfish to just expect him to accept me as i am now?

oh how i wish the laugh react still existed, this really made me giggle 😂

I actually think my body deserves a medal not a surgeon.

This is one of the best quotes I've ever seen on MN. So very, very true.

If all you are to this fuckwit is a pair of tits, then you deserve a great deal better, OP.

This post sums it up exactly!

Totally agree.

(Even though I prefer a Tele)

he wouldn’t even cope for a weekend alone with all 4 DC, let alone me being out of action for weeks.

You're really not selling him to us Op!

Why can't he cope with his own children, does he have a disability preventing him or does he just prefer you to do everything?

Has he shown tendancies of sexism in the past?

Tell him you'll have a boob job when he has a vasectomy or hair transplant.

What a total cunt, to blame you and snap at you for having a child you presumably both agreed to, and then verbally kicking you while you're vulnerable.

He's angry at you and blames you for having the child.

I hope you made him sleep on the sofa. For the foreseeable future.

I always had large breasts and at 44 after two children they were also saggy. My GP suggested a reduction and referred me to a reconstructive surgeon, but the waiting list for NHS treatment was very long.

i had an extremely rich brother with a wonderful girlfriend for whose breasts he had already paid to be uplifted. She told him very firmly that he should pay for my procedure too, using the same top class surgeon.

He kindly agreed and I was lifted and reduced.

My DH was supportive throughout. He managed to be incredibly loyal to the original version, was perfectly happy with them as long as I was, but if I felt like a change he would support that too. Which he did.

Thank heaven he was (and still is) a decent human being, not like poor Hoistraft‘s specimen.

Bloody men! You have taken his two puffs and a pant and grown a whole ass human, not once, not twice but four times! He had his 30 seconds and you got 9 months of organs moving, feeling sick, and turning yourself into a human oven and now a milk factory. Tell him if he is that pissed off about the fact he now has 4 children, he can take responsibility and get a vasectomy. It's a 20 minute procedure under a local anaesthetic with painkillers - more than woman get when they squeeze a human out. And that would definitely be a surgery that would benefit both of you unlike the boobs. good luck dear OP. The man is a prize clown - he is trying to hold you to standards that he cannot hold for himself. OP - you rock. 💖

Agree with pp to insult his cheese infested knob and stop wearing a bra.

I would send him a message and say at least i have a reason they are not as before ie: Kids, but would love to know what's your reason for not having a dick as big as before with Saggy Turkey balls now ?

i would then send a link for penis enlargements for him to consider saying it would be great for both of us ! See how he likes it.

Tell him you can’t see his cock as his belly is too big… and he should do something about it! But it’s ok as you’re just saying it how it is…

He’s a spunktrumpet… I hope you realise how awesome you are growing 4 humans!

Why did your GP recommend a reduction?

Were you having medical problems as a result of large breasts? Or was the GP being way too personal?

Seems a weird suggestion for a GP to make out of the blue!

What a horrible guy. My ex was pretty similar. Tell him to fuck off. Sounds vile and abusive.

First poster nails it!

My husband is no sweetly-spoken modern man but he respects women. Im not sure your husband does. Im so sorry, it sounds like he kicked you while you're down. I hope you are doing okay, please don't take anything he says to heart. You're doing a very tough job and you deserve a medal.

So true , OP tell him he should get a lobotomy , it will be good for both of you !

What an absolute fucking dickface.

My breasts were so heavy that there was no way I could, say, run for a bus. Then it got to the point that they hurt when I was just walking.
That’s when I spoke to the GP. He just said ‘Well they are very big, would you like to see about a reduction?”.
He was very good about the whole thing. After the operation I needed several weeks off work but did not want my sick note to say ‘breast reduction’ so he put ‘Chest Surgery’, much less gossip-worthy at work.

Hey lady! Your body has given life to 4 human beings. You nurtured them for nine months before the ultimate achievement of bringing them into the world. You, and all other mums are bloody amazing! Your man needs to give himself a very stern talking to! Impregnating you does not give him right to criticise your body under any circumstances! Six weeks post-partum and you are still ‘healing’ FFS……….that bloke it a total twat!

Well after that, he’d never be seeing my tits again, so whatever they looked like would have no impact on him.

I’d also be congratulating myself on shedding a monumental amount of dead weight just six weeks after birth, prob about 14-odd stone of it! What a prick.

Congratulations on your baby OP, and your bloody fabulous boobs!

That’s really horrible of him. Especially because all surgeries carry the small risk of death. Does he really want to risk raising four children alone because he can’t hack that his wife’s breasts have changed a bit?

Tell him a vasectomy and a penis enlargement would be good for both of you.

Idiot!!! Get rid,,.

I think to realise the enormity of how horrible this is, reverse it, would you ever ever suggest to him he should have his cock enlarged? How do you think that would go down if you did? Oh and add to it he’s just had an operation. I know people have already suggested this throughout the thread, but it’s been as a joke, read by you as a joke; but your husband said this to you in all seriousness as if it’s a completely reasonable request. On top of blaming you for a pregnancy which he was also responsible for. He’s horrid op. It’s a lot to process, so take your time, you probably need the help right now, but stealthily start getting your ducks in a row when you’re ready.

That’s all that needs to be said. Another pathetic specimen who is scared of a vasectomy. Practically every bloke I know about my age with DC has had it. Why can’t he? Utterly useless.