To refuse a boob job after DH said mine are “wrecked” post DC4?

[Hoistraft]

bit of background first. ive just had DC4 about 6 weeks ago. total shock, was on the pill and it failed. tbh DH wasnt exactly over the moon about it, hes been a bit grumpy about the whole thing and weve been snapping at each other more than usual. im knackered, breastfeeding round the clock, house looks like a bomb site and i dont even know what day it is half the time.

so yesterday i was getting changed and he just comes out with “you should think about getting your boobs done, they’re a bit wrecked now after 4 kids”. i laughed it off at first but then he said he was serious and that “it would be good for both of us” if i sorted them. he keeps saying he’s only being honest and that it’s not a big deal these days.

i feel really rubbish now. yes theyre not what they were at 20 but i grew and fed 4 children with them and atm i actually think my body deserves a medal not a surgeon. im exhausted, hormonal and the last thing on my mind is cosmetic surgery. but part of me is wondering if im letting myself go and maybe hes right?

AIBU to flat out refuse or is it selfish to just expect him to accept me as i am now?

What a nasty piece of work - he should be bending over backwards to support you right now and being grateful you’re putting yourself through more hard work feeding the baby, not making disgusting digs. What a piece of shit. He clearly has no respect for you, sorry to say it.

I think he's saying he doesn't believe you about the pill. It's all about trust really and I think he's too wet to say what he really thinks, just neg you instead.

It definitely needs a big conversation and some home truths his way too.

Oh he can fuck all the way off.

That boob job money would also pay for a lovely new patio you know...

Your boobs are just perfect as they are. Your body has done amazing things which cockfaces body never could. He has got no idea.

(Also, after years of breastfeeding and yoyo diets my boobs look like ping-pong balls stuffed in socks and they are just fine too)

Edit to add: Been a long time since I breastfed, is it still at the point you get stupid over supply and could consider shooting him in the eye with milk from across the room?

It would be good for both of you if your DH (dick head) was less of a twat.
You're freshly post partum. The very last thing on your to-do list should be pleasing him in any way.

What a dick

From experience, please don't get your boobs done. I had cosmetic implants for 10 years and had them removed as they made me so unbelievably unwell.

Tell your husband that he doesn't have to worry what your boobs look like, because he just talked himself out of seeing them again. I repeat, what a dick

I'd sit him down and show him this thread and the responses.

You don't need a book job.

You need a partner.

Or alternatively to just give this sad excuse for a man his marching orders.

Tell him you’ve always wanted him to have a bigger penis, it’ll be good for both of you….

Quite possibly the worst thing I've read on here.

He’s just signalled and signed his end-of-sex-life papers.
How big is your patio?
You, unlike him, sound amazing. Have absolutely no doubts about yourself and your body.

He also needs to be asked what he was doing about contraception, or is he one of those twats who 'don't do condoms'?

So he thinks a completely unnecessary cosmetic procedure under general anaesthetic, with all attendant risks (up to and including death) plus all the possible following complications of an operation and having foreign objects in your body long-term is absolutely fine - nay, 'good for' - for the mother of his children and wife whom he presumably professes to love.

But the very notion of him having a small day procedure under local anaesthetic to ensure your family doesn't grow beyond what you can cope with is actually laughable?

Send him to me, I'll give him the vascetomy. Do I have any anaesthetic? Why, no. Medical training of any description? No, I do not. A single fuck about his comfort or general well-being? Fresh out.

But I do have an extremely rusty set of garden shears and I'll be damned it if that doesn't sound like considerably more than he deserves.

Please leave this absolute waste of space when you're ready.

“The divorce came out of nowhere.”

or, depending how much he bugs you:

“He ran into my knife. He ran into my knife ten times.”

Seriously, what a knob. Your boobs were fine enough for him to make 4 kids. I couldn’t sleep with someone who thinks I’d need surgery.

Fucking hell OP. To say that is one thing, but to say it to you when you've practically just given birth to a 4th child is so low.

It's not loving behaviour, and not the words of a man who is afraid of upsetting or losing his partner. He feels enabled to just come out with a big statement like that so casually because he's grown quite cocky and thinks you're loyal or dependent enough on him to tolerate being spoken to in a way that would make most women want to dump him.

Stupid man. It's men like this who throw away their marriages and wonder why their wives wanted to divorce them.

Was he present at the birth? Does he understand what you just heroically went through? I’m not one for violence usually, but I’d say his comments definitely deserve a punch in the nuts!

Huge congrats on your new baby, sorry about the man baby x

Probably cheaper to get him castrated.

Congratulations on your new baby. Your husband is a complete moron.

Your response should have been that it would be good for both of you if he left. what a twat.

No words for this post….
sending you a massive hug and I’d be planning on building a patio with the boob job money with a little bonus in the foundations of it…. What a total complete arse…
Definitely time for the ✂️
“Whilst we are on the subject of surgery darling, when are you going in for the snip?!
Obviously birth control isn’t 100% foolproof and you’re right I’m very tired at the moment looking after 4 of your children, we really can’t risk having another”
You’re a better person then me, if my DH had said anything other then ‘you go for a nap’ or ‘would you like me to bring you another cuppa’ 6 weeks post birth with 3 other children I would have probably ripped his head off.

We all know that your boobs are not the problem here. He is your problem and he’s baggage you could do without especially having had another baby.
Why not suggest that he go get the snip because that would be good for both of you and while he’s there to get his sack tightened up too. Once that’s done you can talk about your boobs by which time you can just say nah feck it. Unless you want them done of course!

Ask him when he's getting his penis enlargement.

Vagina. Clamped. Shut. No chance would he be getting near ever again.

You could tell him the baby seems to have no issue with them! So you’ll be keeping them as they are, thanks.

He’s vile

OMG my heart goes out to you OP, that’s such a cruel thing to say. I’m not sure I’d ever recover from that.