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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DP embarrasing me over periods

284 replies

Bluebirdies · 28/08/2025 16:13

I’m 30 I know I shouldn’t exactly be embarrassed by them (and deep down I’m not) but this is how DP is making me feel.

I was having really bad stomach cramps last night. He was asking me what was wrong and I told him and he pulled a disgusted face. Then this morning I had come on and he said “eww”

When he says these things, I do pull him up on them but he says he’s joking but they aren’t funny to me. For a while now I have been trying to make out what this means. Is it just something he’s grossed out by? Or is it an example of not really caring about me? I can’t work it out

OP posts:
PeloMom · 28/08/2025 23:40

Lemoncheesecake007 · 28/08/2025 16:16

I’ll put my hands up and say people might think this is an overreaction but that would give me the ick and I don’t think I’d continue the relationship. He sounds like a 13 year old school boy.

If you ever want children, a lot more happens, trust me…

That’s offensive to 13 yr old school boys. I have a boy, much younger than 13, who knows and understands the basics of periods without being grossed out. When he finds out I have mine, he comes and ask if I want a hug rather than pull a face.

Whatplanetam1on · 28/08/2025 23:40

I can't abide these man children ffs. My autistic 16 year old son has never behaved like that. I even heard him say when his younger sister started a few months back - 'oh well we better not forget that the we have extra toilet roll.' I have been in pain and on the sofa my 14 year old daughter has some SEN and and my son has gone out to the shops to buy sanitary towels, and or even tampons he's offered.

He has never once pulled a face. Am hoping that our youngish male teens growing into men will also follow suit because they have grown up in a leave headed family environment. He needs to grow the fuck up. Makes me rage.

Sunshineandblueskysalltheway · 28/08/2025 23:57

'Is it just something he’s grossed out by? Or is it an example of not really caring about me? I can’t work it out.'

It's both and it means he hates women and that this will get much worse. Also you need to leave him. When a man behaves like this there is nothing to work out apart from your exit. Nothing.

Starlight7080 · 28/08/2025 23:58

He sounds very immature. If you dont have kids then before you do i would talk to him about all the stuff he will have to cope with during pregnancy/birth.
This makes me so thankful my dh has never been fazed by them. And now we have teenager dds often nips to the shop to buy sanitary products.

dottiedodah · 28/08/2025 23:58

There seems to be a glut of man children here ATM! What sort of life has he led where he thinks periods are weird? My own Son doesn't behave like this.tell him to grow up and stop being purple.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 29/08/2025 00:01

yuck to him

AdoraBell · 29/08/2025 00:02

Get rid of him, he’s like a teenager.

whitewineandsun · 29/08/2025 00:02

It's really so very depressing that there are still men out there with this attitude. Surely, you're too put off by him now to go near?

incognitomummy · 29/08/2025 00:21

This would give me the ick and he would have to go.

buffy2025 · 29/08/2025 00:22

He’s ridiculous. My dad is late 70s, old school type. When I was diagnosed with endometriosis he went off and googled, sent me articles that looked helpful, stood up for me in a&e when he was horrified at the pain I was in and picked me up from hospital after my lap excision
bare minimum standards

OSTMusTisNT · 29/08/2025 00:31

I would say he's immature but that's insulting to kids and teenagers who take all this in their stride. So, I'll just say he's a prick.

Imagine your life in a few years when he's looking after your poonami covered baby.....

ilovepuppies2019 · 29/08/2025 01:12

I agree with everyone’s views but there is a big double standard on MN. Periods are normal but poops are disgusting. Many people complain that a person shouldn’t poop at work and demand that a windows is open and something sprayed or a person is awful. I remember a thread where a woman was so utterly disgusted because her partner pooped in the ensuite bathroom and she got ‘headaches’ from the smell. She cried over how disgusting he was and posters widely agreed with her that he had no consideration and she should leave.

Bodily functions aren’t accepted as normal on Mn and many posters think other should be shamed. It does seem there’s a double standard when it comes to periods. Both of these things are normal and shouldn’t be shamed in the slighted .

Rayqueen · 29/08/2025 01:36

Thank goodness men aren't bothered in my family, my dad was always the first to provide baths or hot water bottles for us girls and very often to many chocolate bars, never made to feel awkward as young teens. Luckily my hubby was brought up the same and will be first to pop to shop or make a nice dinner or just send me to bed etc, even our oldest son of 15 will pop off and suprise me saying he's made me a bath and hot chocolate if he notices I'm bad. So have no worries once my own girls get to that stage. Best to be open about everything and ye nothing worse than the response you got.

99bottlesofkombucha · 29/08/2025 02:07

ilovepuppies2019 · 29/08/2025 01:12

I agree with everyone’s views but there is a big double standard on MN. Periods are normal but poops are disgusting. Many people complain that a person shouldn’t poop at work and demand that a windows is open and something sprayed or a person is awful. I remember a thread where a woman was so utterly disgusted because her partner pooped in the ensuite bathroom and she got ‘headaches’ from the smell. She cried over how disgusting he was and posters widely agreed with her that he had no consideration and she should leave.

Bodily functions aren’t accepted as normal on Mn and many posters think other should be shamed. It does seem there’s a double standard when it comes to periods. Both of these things are normal and shouldn’t be shamed in the slighted .

A big poo stench is completely different from knowing a woman is on her period, which doesn’t affect you at all? If farts didn’t stink they wouldn’t be disgusting, but they do so I send my 10yo out of the room if he does one next to me. If I can’t enjoy sitting in the living room nor can he.

mathanxiety · 29/08/2025 03:57

This is a horrible man.

He should admit his misogyny, set you free, and buy himself an inflatable girlfriend - all he wants is a handy orifice after all, and not the reality of a real,.live partner.

BadDinner · 29/08/2025 04:20

Armychef30 · 28/08/2025 23:03

What an immature knobhead, when my son was 16 his female friend came on her period in college and leaked in beige leggings , my son gave her his hoodie to put round her. Then went into town bought her tampons and some new knickers and leggings and she sat on a bench outside college. I was really proud of him. Sounds like your husband has a long way to go if he's disgusted by a natural occurrence, sending chocolate 🍫

AHH🤗 he sounds like a lovely young man, well done mum!

My DS's will pop to the shops and buy my pads if I run out (which is rare because I buy in bulk) and I like to think they'd do similar if presented with the same circumstances or at the very least not act like childish idiots.

SoScarletItWas · 29/08/2025 06:11

Pistachiocake · 28/08/2025 23:19

Please don't think 17 year olds feel like this. My son is MUCH younger than that, and actually asked me the other day to give some of my products to a friend (obviously girl of his who needed some) and said should we (as in males) buy STs for girls because it's an extra expense.

Some lack of understanding can be blamed on parents who don't educate their children (and I'm judging myself because my son (and my daughter for that matter) got confused about timings-but that is not their fault. It's up to me, and my husband, to explain things better.
So OP, your partner should have been told about things, and it's sad he was brought up this way. We all need to do better-I don't know anywhere near enough about menopause, and didn't know much about childbirth before becoming a parent.
Sadly there's still shame and stigma, and he needs to be willing to change his ideas. It's unbelievable that we used to think periods turned milk sour-ask him what he thinks of such stupid ideas. Menstruating women used to have to eat separately from the family, and some still do, in other places.

Oh, I don’t really. And kudos to everyone who’s commented today their 17yo sons don’t flinch; you brought ‘em up well.

I was making a flippant comment about OP’s ridiculous boyfriend and figured it would be inappropriate to imply he was any younger!

KmcK87 · 29/08/2025 08:50

My husband does not do blood (as in will faint at the sight of too much) but he’s mature enough to not behave like that.

Unless your DP is 16 years old there’s no excuse. Even if he was brought up thinking periods were shameful, it’s upto him to change his mindset, he can adapt.

AmberGreenwood · 29/08/2025 09:06

Maybe he has never been in a relationship with someone who would feel comfortable mentioning it? How long have you been with him? It sounds a lot more like immaturity than malice to me. It takes a long time for some men to stop thinking periods are gross, farts are hilarious etc!

Moellen54 · 29/08/2025 09:31

Tell him to grow up and act his age, which I preume isnot 15

sweetpickle2 · 29/08/2025 09:39

Rosscameasdoody · 28/08/2025 18:23

I don’t think the poster is making the point that gay men find periods disgusting - I think it’s that if he were in a relationship with a man he wouldn’t have to be grossed out once a month !!

"It’s really quite odd behaviour for a straight mature man to be so disgusted by the ordinary biological functions of females"

Agree to disagree.

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 29/08/2025 10:11

Applebun · 28/08/2025 22:03

I think just saying the word "period" can make some people feel a bit sick. And also you then think of their vagina and that is a very intimate thing to think about.

A woman at work said to me the other day that she was having her period. I didnt really want to think about blood or her vagina. That was my reaction.

Edited

If the word period makes you feel sick then that’s very much a you problem.

It shouldn’t be a taboo subject or something women should be made to feel ashamed or embarrassed about.

LoudSnoringDog · 29/08/2025 10:29

How old is he? Idiot.

IHaveAlwaysLivedintheCastle · 29/08/2025 11:36

Moellen54 · 29/08/2025 09:31

Tell him to grow up and act his age, which I preume isnot 15

Unless your DP is 16 years old there’s no excuse

Tell him to grow up and act his age, which I preume isnot 15

Can posters please stop insulting teenagers.

KmcK87 · 29/08/2025 12:14

IHaveAlwaysLivedintheCastle · 29/08/2025 11:36

Unless your DP is 16 years old there’s no excuse

Tell him to grow up and act his age, which I preume isnot 15

Can posters please stop insulting teenagers.

🙄 it’s not an insult. Teenagers aren’t known for being mature. Your teenager might be but that’s not really typical behaviour.