DP embarrasing me over periods

[Bluebirdies]

I’m 30 I know I shouldn’t exactly be embarrassed by them (and deep down I’m not) but this is how DP is making me feel.

I was having really bad stomach cramps last night. He was asking me what was wrong and I told him and he pulled a disgusted face. Then this morning I had come on and he said “eww”

When he says these things, I do pull him up on them but he says he’s joking but they aren’t funny to me. For a while now I have been trying to make out what this means. Is it just something he’s grossed out by? Or is it an example of not really caring about me? I can’t work it out

Oh interestingly, there is a thread just popped up, cant remember what category as I use active... about the increase in dads who are 60+

Cue lots of 'ewww' and 'gross' and 'grim'

Ewwww, older people having sex and older men being parents, how discustin'

Periods aren't a choice. 🙄

He is not a partner. He is using you. Run.

His immaturity would be a massive turn off for me. This isn't then type of man who'll make an attentive husband when you're pregnant or in post-partum.

There are better men out there, don't waste your time on this immature prick.

Your husbands comments, being ‘grossed out’ highlights his immaturity, his comments place him firmly in the immature schoolboy category, which is fine if he’s12 but he’s not!

He is an uneducated ignorant twat of man-child who needs to grow up

It’s a very important question.

it’s not unusual for a person to be so ground down that they normalise abuse to the point of not recognising it.

Sometimes women post about something seemingly minor that has caused them to flounder, and when posters ask if there’s a wider context, that can be what it takes to wake them up to see the pattern.

People don’t up and leave their perfectly nice marriages because some stranger online thought a throwaway comment was abuse. But sometimes abused women get an opportunity to recognise what’s happening and the support to get away. It’s why MNetters are called vipers.

If you’ve been fortunate enough in life not to have developed an instinct for where there might be a bigger story, I’m truly glad for you.

Meaning what? That humans having sex is a ewwww gross and grim choice?

Not shaving legs is a ewwww, gross and grim choice?

Going for a poo in a public or work toilet is a ewwww, gross and grim choice?

My 11yo DS sounds a lot more mature than your partner. He would never make jokes about periods or say they’re gross.

Ok, I can't say whether you’re being unreasonable or not because I don’t know your partner or where he’s coming from.

I got together with my partner when I was 27, 15 years ago. My DH was similarly innately disgusted. Still is. Grew up in a house where these things were hidden away and he would literally call me ‘unclean!’. Would even sleep in the spare bedroom when I was on (y’know, I so worked that to my advantage - who knew I could get a whole superking bed to myself for so many days in a row? 😂).

BUT. He has never once shied away from trying to make me feel better. I get a stomach cramp and he becomes solicitous. He will happily go and buy me all the tampons and chocolate my menstrual heart requires. He’ll deal with my wild mood swings with complete tact and no judgement. I’m a textbook PMSer. He’s so much less weirded out before, but that doesn't mean he isn’t still icked out by the whole period thing. He’s still definitely not touching me while I’m on!

I was upset when I first experienced it but, over the years, I’ve realised it’s a personal ick that’s more than made up for with the way he now thinks about how it’s affecting me during that time.

So not going to vote on your AIBU but potentially it could be more like my situation. Or maybe he’s just a proper dick! Only you can work that out.

If it helps give you the idea of the qualities of decent husband material standards……

Mine has helped me dislodge/remove a stuck, very full menstrual cup and got coated in my blood and barely batted an eyelid despite being quite squeamish naturally, because I needed help and was beginning to panic a bit. He didn’t make me feel awkward in any way and has never brought it up again even as a “joke”/to hold it over me!

He has a full understanding of periods (it’s SCARY how many men know NOTHING about periods, or worse very WRONG information!!) and has regularly supported me;
often does a check if we travel that I’ve packed what I need,
has bought me products if needed over the years,
bought me a microwave wheat thing when we had been going out for 6 months for my cramps (he was about 20 at this time!!)
has stripped and washed bedding and pj’s if i’ve ever leaked in the night,
checked when we bought our mattress protector with our new mattress that it was decent enough to actually work for that kind of stuff

Your BF is showing very icky qualities and severe immaturity 😬😬😬😫

Tell him that either you have a period or he will be a dad. What would he prefer right now, on the spot. Time’s up.

Thank goodness he's a DP and not a DH. Makes leaving him so much easier. Can you imagine how he'd react to childbirth?

Man child who needs to seriously grow up.

Isn’t he a treat.

Bin him. He’s disgusting. I hope you are ok xx

That reaction from him would give me the ick, how pathetic. He sounds like an absolute pussy. He needs to get a grip and grow up. He’s a grown man not a 10 year old boy. Tell him how babies are made, if he thinks periods are gross, that will really freak him out.

Don’t be ridiculous !! this is not abuse, a lot of men are grossed out by periods but they might not verbalise it, he needs to grow up and accept it is part of a woman or else he will stay single

I’m loving the number of mothers who have young sons that would not be making a big deal about periods. I think recent education has made a difference, my son told me his teacher told them that they would probably have to buy period items for their partners or female family

Hé sounds like a child.

@20thcenturygirlwithherhandsonthewheel mine has just finished junior school. He said some of the girls openly talk about period pains to the boys.

I’ve just gone on another thread and said the OP should tell her DP to get fucked. And tbh I can say it again here. Wtf is up with men tonight

Unfair to 13 year old school boys

People who pass off horrible comments as "only joking" are nasty bullies.

Tell him to grow up and then dump him.

Please tell me you haven't passed those idiotic ideas on to your children.

@Someone2025

Raise your standards

He called the OP disgusting

Thats verbal abuse. It will likely escalate.