When I was in secondary school I was bullied on the school bus. It was a group of boys, including one who was a bit younger than me who I will call Simon. They would hurl footballs as hard as they could at my head (which hurt a lot), verbally abuse me, and one incident which particularly lives in my memory is when Simon poured a bottle of juice over my head and I had to walk home from the bus stop humiliated with wet sticky hair.
A few years later, Simon, who was in the same year as my little brother, became good friends with my brother. He used to bring him over to our house and although by this point he was no longer bullying me I found it very stressful to have him in my home. I told my mother about what he'd done but she didn't ever seem to care. Simon was the kind of teenager who is polite and chatty with mums and my mum loved him, always saying what a nice boy he was.
I have no reason to think he's a horrible man today but Simon has never apologised and I still feel that rush of adrenaline and all the horrible memories come back when I see him, which thankfully isn't often but he's still a good friend of my brother and it does happen occasionally, e.g. my brother will have him over when we're both at our parents' house.
It really hurts to see my brother and my parents have no problem at all with Simon, saying he's such a lovely guy, after how he treated me. Especially my mother. I think that if something similar happened to my child, the bully wouldn't be welcome in my house, even if he was friends with my other child and was polite to me. My kids are still primary age though.
I have to see Simon again soon at my brother's wedding and I feel horrible thinking about it. It was over 20 years ago now so I know I should be over it and honestly I think I would be if I hadn't seen him since. But it all gets stirred up again every time.
Obviously I'm not about to make a scene at my brother's wedding but AIBU to think at least my mum should have been on my side and should stop telling me how lovely Simon is?