Taylor Swift engagement - puzzled

[LouisaJG]

I’m in my 30s and so unreasonable to be posting/caring about this on every level. BUT. I didn’t see a post. So…

AIBU to be puzzled that the man Taylor Swift has finally decided to settle down with is so different to the type she has seemed to date pretty consistently through her 20s and 30s up to then? She seemed so keen on soft, arty, mainly British boys - and now she’s gone for the direct opposite. Is it because her previous long relationship with a soft, arty British boy (Joe Alwyn) didn’t go the distance and so she decided she really needed to change her type if she wanted marriage and kids? Is it a fairly cynical marketing reaction to the current political situation in the States (no idea if TK is actually a Republican but he looks like someone who could appeal to Republicans, very much unlike Joe Alwyn)? Is it just a return to her American, country roots? What gives? I’m her age and I just can’t imagine my tastes changing as dramatically as that.

We used to like the same type of man, and now I feel like I don’t know her any more (I know, I know, I know) 🤣

I don’t know the woman so haven’t a clue!

This article nails it.

https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2025/08/taylor-swift-travis-kelce-engagement/684015/?gift=SKtFP-7gCBnFn1bNJdqPMgUMzwwKvf8I4sQgo-nuLAM

This is so beyond anything I could remotely care about really 😂 but I don’t think it’s that odd at all.

Before I met Dh, my type was big burly urban types with lots of tattoos, likely had a band or other edgy hobby. My friend used to say ‘biker gang’ was sort of the look I went for. Quite a few of them had serious drug problems. As it turned out, it was just assholes I was attracted to. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Dh is a country bumpkin, grew up on a farm, had 2 pigs when I met him, no tattoos, no edgy hobbies, went to boarding school, businessman, as stereotypically middle class as you can get. Like when I was in my tattooed bass player phase, if you had showed me in a crystal ball the sort of man I’d marry and spend my life with, I would have fallen off my chair in hysterics and not believed you. He couldn’t have been more completely different - and christ, thank god!

Well, your initial post said
Even if the footballer isn’t a republican a lot of his circle are and while she was dating Joe Alwyn, associating with people like that seemed a complete impossibility.If she’s genuinely happy, I’m happy for her, but I would never trust him.

That doesn't sound like you're striving not to judge tbh. It sounds quite like you think no one should 'associate with' a Republican voter or even anyone who spends time with them. Not sure who Matty Healy would vote for but some of his views are pretty off putting as has been posted here.

I think he's fantastic!
A big old hunk of a man, a quarterback, funny, successful, rich, loves fashion & crucially is happy to play 2nd fiddle, let her shine & is completely comfortable in that role.

I think as people get older and have more experiences they grow and learn about what they want and deserve. I always went for tortured artist types who were 'cool' but emotionally unavailable, and I got tired of it, had some therapy. My mother said I deserved someone who was 'devoted to me'. Having low self-esteem, I'd never considered that this was something that I deserved or that was even possible to find. In my 30s I met a completely different type of man, someone I would never had considered before - stable, sensible, nerdy but very intelligent and made me laugh, and I could just tell that he was a fundamentally good and decent person who would treat me well. We've been together for 10 years, married for 7, and he is my biggest cheerleader.

Well the last lot, other than being so emotionally retarded in many cases that she could fill albums about them, were clearly not working!
Maybe she's showing you the way to eternal happiness by changing it up a bit.

Taylor is 35, an age at which a woman's baby making hormones may start calling the shots ...Gynacologists call the years up to, and including the early forties: "The ovaries last party". Just as, while ovulating, women tend to go for hyper masculine men, the same is true of these years. My worry is that, post baby making, she will begin to miss the intellectual prowess of her previous 'type'.

He briefly lost the head once, in the biggest game of his life, when the whole world was watching and his team were losing. Not his finest moment, but he isn't the first of us to act a bit silly and he won't be the last.

Every other thing I've ever seen from him has been positive. He's always very respectful of her, in a very sweet way. They are obviously madly in love.

In contrast Joe Alwyn seemed ashamed of her, never spoke about her, saw her fame and popularity as an entirely negative thing (I'm sure it's difficult at times but she's massively famous because she's ridiculously talented, she means so much to so many people). She had to change herself to be with him. I think one of the most revealing songs about their relationship (even though it's claimed to be about matt Beringer's relationship with his wife) is one of the ones she wrote with the National - The Alcott. If you aren't familiar, please listen, it's beyond beautiful.

I think Travis lets her be herself. I don't believe he's a republican, but that he can work with them and show people with other beliefs respect. Whether we like it or not, others are entitled to their views. But he hasn't displayed any obviously republican views. He featured in a Pfizer advert during covid for example.

My dh wasn't anything like my usual type. And he's my polar opposite personality wise. Not that they are opposites but they are very different talent wise. No matter who she married, she was gonna be the more intelligent one in the relationship. I think they'll go the distance.

And yes, i firmly believe she wants marriage and kids. Yes, she has complained about it being regressive to only see women as a one night or a wife, because it is. But at the same time there's no shame in wanting those things. I did. Most women do, on some level, because it's a normal thing for humans to want. Taylor has been writing love songs for over 20 years, she's obviously a romantic.

I have nothing but respect for her, especially after TTPD. She admitted things on that album that you couldn't have waterboarded out of me. I just think fair play to her. She was angry and gave zero fucks.

The comment you're replying to was my first on this thread. The comment you're referring to was from a different poster.

I don’t think he is that different from her usual type in some fundamental ways. Yes very different physically. But she seems to go for guys who are close with their families and he is very close with his.

Plus he has a very public career which involves a lot of PR and so understands that side of it. I think perhaps that prior to this she felt that she wanted someone to write songs with her and who understand that part of her job but now sees that simply having an interest in her work and supporting her in it is enough

I watched the podcast interview and she talks about how various people she knows already knew him and encouraged her to give him a go so she clearly wasn’t sure to start with

They seem very happy and devoted to each other.

Tight end, if we want to get technical about it😄

Maybe her type isn't physical and TK aligns perfectly with her "type".

Five minutes max.

He just looks aggressive/arrogant to me but I'm only judging from pictures, don't know the guy. Not my type anyway. I'm just bemused this actually made the BBC news. Engagements are ten a penny anyway, the actual wedding I maybe would expect to make the news!

I am not surprised he is different.

None of her previous pattern led to long-term commitment. If your pattern is not working for you - change it.

This sounds like pseudoscience.

My late Medical consultant husband would be offended

It certainly reduces women down to simple minded animals controlled by their uteruses, unable to see reason, doesn't it?

So according to MN lore at least, men have the monopoly on being simple minded animals controlled by their penis's, yet we are completely above that kind of thing.

I'm a couple years older than Taylor and my ovaries are not having ANY sort of party yet 😆and that includes having the slightest bit of attraction to certain American football (is that what he does?) players! I do get what OP means, he is a specific "type"-I've never yet gone for burly, bearded men despite liking quite a broad range of guys. I don't even get the rugby thing, but maybe I'm missing out there!

I see a lot of “it’s fake” type posts on social media but am utterly baffled by what either would stand to gain from such an arrangement. She is beyond wealthy and famous, and he’s not doing too badly himself either.

Controlled by their penis's [sic] what?

If she wants children, it's probably better to have them with somebody who actually wants them with her than not. You're also ignoring that for the majority of women in relationships, they will be using contraception, so the incel cod psychology about their ovaries falls down at the first fence, even before you take into account that she may not want children, may not want to give birth or may not be able to conceive.

Give it time op 😅My generation all know someone who ; having completed their family, suddenly found them selves welcoming an 'accidental late lamb ' in their late thirties/ early forties... As an English teacher myself, I may well have secretly fancied the Gym teacher, but chose to marry an intellectual peer instead.