Asked friend to dog sit and she said 'it was a bit inconvenient'

[Terracottafarmers]

I've asked my good friend, who’s really good with our dog, if she’d be able to look after her while we’re away for a couple of nights in December. Normally I’d ask my parents, but since they’ll be away with us, we don’t have anyone else to help.

When I asked her, she said she’d let me know, but this is already the second time I’ve had to bring it up (even though she’s looked after our dog a handful of times before). This time she made a comment I found a bit odd 'Well, you haven’t chosen dates Diana that are exactly easy'. .

I just find the comment a little strange, you either can or you can’t. To be honest, it’s made me feel like I’m being a bit of an inconvenience even asking her. The only thing is, I know if I go back and say we’ve found someone else, she’ll probably get annoyed that we chose another option.

AIBU to feel a bit taken aback?

She doesn’t want to do it and doesn’t feel able to say no. Just sort something else out. Don’t go back and say you’ve arranged something else, just don’t mention it to her again at all.

You mean your good friend, Cinderella?

A Friday to Monday in December is a ball ache. She might have her Christmas Do, her DH might have his, she might get a last minute invite to a party. You mention uni and living at home. Is she fairly young?

December is peak going out season. She probably doesn’t want to commit in August to tying up a whole weekend in December.

Arrange to pay a dog sitter , your friend doesn't want to do it.

Why don’t people just pay for their dog to go into kennels if they don’t have someone who actually wants to look after it?

When you ask people for relatively large and inconvenient favours don't be offended by a no or the person expressing that it is inconvenient or a tall ask

This can’t be real. Of course it’s an inconvenience even asking her, she would be giving up her time to look after your dog, how can you not see that? Stop being tight and pay for a kennel.

Quite!

Pay someone to look after your dog. Your friend doesn't want to do it this time, regardless of having looked after the pet previously. This is an entirely valid position. You should have taken the hint and not asked her twice.

The only thing is, I know if I go back and say we’ve found someone else, she’ll probably get annoyed that we chose another option.

I can personally guarantee that she won't be the least bit annoyed. But it's unlikely that you will find another mug friend willing to take on this task in the immediate run-up to Christmas. Your best option is kennels, but you need to crack on and book now.

Yeah all dog owners are all “narcs”, this thread really proves that.

Meanwhile, in the real world…

@Terracottafarmers you know Christmas is in December and some people get really busy as it's seasonal.
Probably not the time to be taking dogs out in the rain and frosts either. As if you don't have enough to worry about.
You didn't give her the dates either.
Don't blame her.

Are you serious @Terracottafarmers ? Your friend has said the dates are inconvenient. Yet you keep asking. Just what is going through your head ?

I don't think friend is keen.

Can you find a sitting kennel?
Can you make it more simple - say, just feeding the dog and walking it once per day or taking the dog in a cage to her home?
Would next door neighbour be available?
Could a local dog walker add your dog to her daily schedule?

You are taking the piss. She clearly doesn't want to do it and she doesn't have to.

Your dog, your responsibility. You need kennels or a dog sitter like everyone else.

She's starting uni presumably this September.... And you want her to look after the dog friday-monday. Is this also the weekends close to Xmas? Yeah she doesn't want to commit yet and I don't blame her. She may have new friends she wants to hang out with, or doesn't know her plans yet and doesn't want to be tied. Just ask someone else as you've already said that you have others you can ask.

"A bit inconvenient" is an excellent summary. There are a range of variables (Christmas socialising, uni deadlines, end of term energy levels) which mean that she is unwilling to commit.

If she said "I might have an essay due/ Christmas party/ be burned out" you'd be annoyed that she was being flaky.

Far better that she's declining now while you can find alternative solutions than gives a people-pleasing "yes", then bails when the situation changes/ becomes clearer and leaves you in the lurch.

This

I’m genuinely surprised the majority are saying you are being unreasonable. I don’t think you are. I think your friend is.

Its perfectly reasonable for you to ask and it’s perfectly reasonable for her to say no. However, she’s stringing you along. As you said rather than fucking around with non answers, can’t she just be a grown woman and say no? You’ve now asked her twice and she still won’t give a straight answer.

My DM used to do this whenever I asked something. It was always ‘we’ll see’ etc with no expressed date for when the confirmation would come. This meant I couldn’t ask the next person because if I did she’d be offended because she hadn’t said no. After a while I just stopped asking her for anything because it was stressful having loose ends and running out of time.

OP ask the next person or find a dog sitter and don’t ask her again. She’s entitled to not want to do it but she needs to stop the hinting, grow up and say so.

I don't think her comment was unusual. December is a very inconvenient time to take 4 days out of your life to mind someone's dog. Its the run.up to Christmas. People may have shopping, parties, baking, decorating, cleaning, family evenrs. And the weather might make the dog minding harder.
Your attitude to your friend isn't very kind or grateful for her help other times.

YABU. She’s told you the dates aren’t convenient for her. Presumably that means she could do it if you can’t find anyone else but it would be difficult for her.

Why don’t you just say to her "Would you rather I find someone else to look after Rover this time?"

It's very inconvenient. It's December, she's starting uni, it's very likely she will be looking for Christmas seasonal work to top up her spending money before Christmas. As of now she doesn't know for sure sure what will he happening. She also won't know yet what uni plans for parties are arranged for a December. It is inconvenient and she's telling you this. Take the hint.

Thos can't be real. Im beginning to think aibu is full of creative writers or bored people looking for entertainment.

Couldn’t have said better myself @Laserwho