Asked friend to dog sit and she said 'it was a bit inconvenient'

[Terracottafarmers]

I've asked my good friend, who’s really good with our dog, if she’d be able to look after her while we’re away for a couple of nights in December. Normally I’d ask my parents, but since they’ll be away with us, we don’t have anyone else to help.

When I asked her, she said she’d let me know, but this is already the second time I’ve had to bring it up (even though she’s looked after our dog a handful of times before). This time she made a comment I found a bit odd 'Well, you haven’t chosen dates Diana that are exactly easy'. .

I just find the comment a little strange, you either can or you can’t. To be honest, it’s made me feel like I’m being a bit of an inconvenience even asking her. The only thing is, I know if I go back and say we’ve found someone else, she’ll probably get annoyed that we chose another option.

AIBU to feel a bit taken aback?

Exactly, it doesn't.

Totally agree. I would never and have never asked a friend to look after my dogs. Things can also go wrong with dogs that generally don't with cats, you just need to pop in and feed cats, dogs need far more than that. My parents have looked after my dogs before but that's it. I have a reciprocal arrangement with someone in my village but I look after her dogs and vice versa, totally different. There is always a risk with this that the person changes their mind though, so for big holidays I always pay for my dog walker to board them. The friend could have been straight, but some people find it difficult to challenge, particularly when they are friends and I agree that in the original post, prior to editing by the OP, she sounded like someone who it may be difficult to disagree with. Someone who assumes that someone would have time as they dont do university on that day feels like cfuckery to me. Dogs are hard work, even for those that love them!

If she's at Uni she could well be either taking exams, on essay deadlines, or having to fit in seeing everybody, Christmas shopping, travelling and working. Two days of University lectures is often a full time course, as the other 3+ days a week are for studying. December is always a busy time for everybody. Best get onto Rover or similar to find a professional who can commit to the dates.

People who think they're doing you a favour by having you look after their dog generally aren't that easy to say no to. The original OP was pretty clear that she thought friend WBU not to do what she wanted. Some people find it hard to say no, when the other person thinks they're hardly asking anything when actually they're asking a lot.

I pay a friend to feed my cats. I pay approx the going rate based on websites that offer this service. I ask if it suits her. If she said this, I'd go elsewhere. Simple.

It was like to dog sitter op from the other night asking how much to pay sitter - and going on about how basically doing an 18 year old a favour by asking him to sit her dog for 5 hours because he would be able to sit and watch Netflix with treats

almost as if 18 year olds don’t get to kick back and watch Netflix with treats looking at my 18 year old doing precisely that as I type this, and did last night and probably will tomorrow night unless sees girlfriend. It’s a hard life!

right so the OP can never ever ask anyone for help/favour in her entire life ever again because she might be asking someone who has no ability to be assertive and say no . Got it.

One for hyperbole aren’t you

Clearly this poster is not saying that.

basically just be more sensitive - that’s what the poster is saying

the overwhelming majority of us on this thread would fully and without hesitation accept that this friend is saying - I would rather not commit to this during December.

All she did was ask her! That’s literally all she did. Nothing more. How could she be more sensitive about it?

She asked the question can you dogsit? Then she chased up as she didn’t get an answer and then she had a non commital answer and came on mumsnet to ask should she get someone else to do it or does she risk offending the friend by doing this?

I rarely ask for or am asked for favours. I've got lots of friends. I think you're wrong.

And the overwhelming majority would have understood at the first response

a teeny tiny minority - the OP, you and a handful of others… would have carried on regardless and then concluded their “very good friend” was unreasonable and started a thread about her

But the first response was ‘she’ll let her know’

i say that all the time and get back to people after I’ve checked my diary.

But she didn’t get back to the op. Did she?
Which is an answer in itself to most people

Nor the OP come back to this thread. I say it's made up bollox.

This is from the first unedited OP:

we don’t have anyone else to help.

this is already the second time I’ve had to bring it up (even though she’s looked after our dog a handful of times before)

She’s starting uni on Wednesdays and Thursdays, but since we’re going away Friday to Monday, it really shouldn’t affect her.

she’d be staying at our place, which could be a nice change for her since she still lives at home.

OP isn't coming across as someone who just asked, more as she fully expected friend to jump to it and is annoyed friend doesn't seem keen. There's not much sign OP sees friend as having her own priorities, it's all about OPs pov.

Ahh @Namechangetry I thought the opening post was odd in terms of some of the responses. Obviously @Terracottafarmers edited it to take out the stuff that makes her look even more of an entitled arse.

She doesn’t want to.

just pays for a kennels /dog sitter

i have found this thread interesting

overwhelming majority of us understood this friend didn’t want to commit to dog sitting in December, and we would have left it at that.

But there’s a small minority ( @Drfosters etc ) that really do seem to need the word “NO” in a response in order for them to drop a request

This is what I thought about too. From the OP (unedited version) feels like appreciation is not up there on her list of priorities.

I've just had my partners dog for 2 weeks, it is inconvenient. I love the dog and he's no bother, but it restricts things a bit. December is a busy month for people.

Personally, take the hint and don't ask again. If she asks why you're not asking her just shrug it off and say you don't want to put her out.

OP wasn't expecting this response. After the first few comments, a humble person would say "ouch, didn't look at it that way, thanks I'll reach out and acknowledge it was a huge ask, 3 nights over a weekend in December is a lot to commit too this early in the year".

I don't get it personally, my dog has never been looked after overnight. Figured, like my daughters, my girls and dog are a "me" problem and if I can't afford a sitter, I won't be going away.

The cleaner thread the op started for example.

How was she a taker?

OP says ‘I paid her a deposit, I booked it a month in advance and then a week prior let her know it might be delayed. Not exactly mucking her about, maybe if I had booked her in, not paid a deposit and then let her know last minute.’

I think OP was trying to make the best of a situation that wasn’t in her control.

Read the thread
almost unanimous the op was unreasonable
im afraid I can’t be arsed to do it for you

I did read the thread, I just quoted from it for you. 😂 It was resolved amicably between the OP and the cleaner, with the cleaner suggesting some new dates. Sounds like you’re looking for a pile on to the OP.