Asked friend to dog sit and she said 'it was a bit inconvenient'

[Terracottafarmers]

I've asked my good friend, who’s really good with our dog, if she’d be able to look after her while we’re away for a couple of nights in December. Normally I’d ask my parents, but since they’ll be away with us, we don’t have anyone else to help.

When I asked her, she said she’d let me know, but this is already the second time I’ve had to bring it up (even though she’s looked after our dog a handful of times before). This time she made a comment I found a bit odd 'Well, you haven’t chosen dates Diana that are exactly easy'. .

I just find the comment a little strange, you either can or you can’t. To be honest, it’s made me feel like I’m being a bit of an inconvenience even asking her. The only thing is, I know if I go back and say we’ve found someone else, she’ll probably get annoyed that we chose another option.

AIBU to feel a bit taken aback?

Honestly it’s not doing anyone a favour getting them to go out of their way to take responsibility for another persons animal. Certainly when it is not reciprocated. It’s not a nice change for her, it’s entering into cf territory. Just pay for a kennel.

Find a dog sitter- I find trying to use family so difficult I’ve not done so for many years. Good dog sitters are worth their weight in gold.

Use a kennels , stop taking the piss.

I don’t see anything wrong with asking a friend for help.
The friend should have answered. I hate when people don’t just give you a direct answer.
That said she obviously doesn’t want to do it so I’d head to Plan B.

My friend's DH admitted they didn't want to pay for it. Didn't care if it was inconveniencing others. If we says no, his DM (who hates pets) 'will just have to do it'.

If she lives at home and is starting university, I imagine she is still reasonably young and is finding her feet on ways to say no. Good for her not immediately saying yes and then being inconvenienced.

Where did uni come into it?

Ignore. Just seen op edited that out

She can’t do it. Find an alternative.

Hilarious 🤣. You except her to commit now to dog sitting in DECEMBER! And seems annoyed she won't. The mind boggles with entitlement. This must be a wind up.

You are an inconvenience I expect. Why expect friends to help you? So entitled! Pay for a dog sitter

The sense of entitlement, OP!

I’m a dog walker/sitter currently on a house sit. This is my business and my income and even so I still desperately want to go home.
This is someone else’s house and pet, the responsibility and inconvenience is enormous.

I find myself thinking about askers and guessers on a lot of MN threads. Such an interesting framework and totally relevant here I think. Friend is saying no.

It’s probably because it is near Christmas?

I can't get my head round why you think it's acceptable for someone else to be inconvenienced because you own a dog. Next, I can't get my head around the fact that you don't think it would inconvenience her because she won't be at uni on the days you've asked her to look after your dog.

As other posters have said, in future, just pay someone to look after your dog!

If someone likes dogs but doesn't own a dog, one of the main reasons will likely be because they don't want to have to make arrangements to have the dog looked after while they're on holiday, or because they are too busy to have a dog.

So why would your friend want to look after your dog? And for you to think she's outnof order - baffling attitude!

I do hate when people don’t just give straight out answers. I also don’t see an issue with asking a friend if she’s done it before and presumably liked it. I do think taken aback is a bit strong. It’s a favour you’re asking for afterall. If it was me I’d just tell her that as it’s inconvenient I’ll look for another option. If she really wants to do it which I think she doesn’t then she’ll get back to you.

She's trying to be polite and wants to say 'No'. It would be better if she were more direct, but she obviously doesn't want to. Find someone else.

It is December, the month of shopping, parties, meeting up with friends. Why would anyone want to dog sit that month? Why not put it into kennels? Also, your friend may use her weekends for study and does not want to be walking and amusing a dog when it is cold outside and she has work to get on with. It's your dog!

Maybe the friend isn't very keen on dogs or your dog? I quite like dogs but hate the responsibility of looking after one. And I don't like having a dog following me around the house, wanting to be stroked, looking at me pleadingly when I'm eating my dinner etc.

You need to pay to put your dog in a kennel

You have time to find another paid option. Lots of people dog sit in their own houses, if you don't want kennels.
I wouldn't want to commit to this in December. I like to be free for Xmas activities.
She already knows she has the extra commitment of UNI. Her studies aren't confined to her UNI days - most work gets done on your "free" days. She might have assignments due in during December or January.
You are not being a good friend by pressurising her into this.
Stop asking!

It sounds like the friend struggles with saying “no.” Maybe it’s because, while she might be happy to help, she doesn’t want to commit so far in advance and risk losing the freedom to decide what she actually wants to do—especially over Christmas. At other times of the year, she’s dog-sat without much hesitation because it didn’t mean giving up anything significant.

The OP, meanwhile, is understandably frustrated at not getting a clear answer. But she also seems surprised that her friend isn’t brimming with gratitude for the amazing opportunity she believes she’s offering. It almost reads as though the OP thinks her friend should feel lucky she’s going away—because it supposedly gives the friend a chance at a better lifestyle.

Looking after someone’s pet is a huge responsibility and yes an inconvenience.

Pay a pet sitter.

Have you checked it’s not a date like her birthday, anniversary etc? That you should have remembered anyway? Or maybe it is just the proximity to Christmas that’s the issue? TBF we have something on most weekends in the run up to Christmas.

Dog sitting in December can be inconvenient. People are busy, lots tend to socialise more and out the house more so YABU. Use the kennels or ask someone else, she is obviously inconvenienced by being asked and she doesn’t have to do it.