Asked friend to dog sit and she said 'it was a bit inconvenient'

[Terracottafarmers]

I've asked my good friend, who’s really good with our dog, if she’d be able to look after her while we’re away for a couple of nights in December. Normally I’d ask my parents, but since they’ll be away with us, we don’t have anyone else to help.

When I asked her, she said she’d let me know, but this is already the second time I’ve had to bring it up (even though she’s looked after our dog a handful of times before). This time she made a comment I found a bit odd 'Well, you haven’t chosen dates Diana that are exactly easy'. .

I just find the comment a little strange, you either can or you can’t. To be honest, it’s made me feel like I’m being a bit of an inconvenience even asking her. The only thing is, I know if I go back and say we’ve found someone else, she’ll probably get annoyed that we chose another option.

AIBU to feel a bit taken aback?

Pet sitting is a big ask. She hasn’t said yes - which is a no.

Pay for someone to do it

Your friend has mastered how to say no!

Read between the lines OP. She doesn’t want to tell you no outright, but she doesn’t want to do it. So you’ll have to make alternative arrangements.

I'm sure your friend will recover if you find someone else. Break it to her gently. 😆

Typical dog-owner entitlement. I swear you are all narcs.

She’s already dog sat for you “a handful of times”, Sounds like she is sick of doing it.

The only thing is, I know if I go back and say we’ve found someone else, she’ll probably get annoyed that we chose another option.

Really? doesn't sound like that to me, sounds as if she'd be glad to not do it. Also I thought the whole reason you were asking her is because you didn't have anyone else to help?

Proof that the word narc has lost any true meaning.
Calm down, approximately 70% of posters who responded to OP are dog owners.
Entitled feckless pooch lovers.

She would be doing you a favour, not the other way around!
She clearly isn't keen, so accept the hint. December is a busy month. Just because she's not at uni those days doesn't mean she has to make herself available to you.

Find someone else and pay them properly.

She doesn't want to do it.

Do.you pay ? She doesn't want to mind your dog and doesn't want to be rude. Find alternative arrangements and get the hint.

You chose to get a dog so you need to pay for a dig sitter and not put your friend in an uncomfortable position by asking them. Get the hint. The friend has been polite in the past but clearly now had enough of being asked

I cannot stand freeloaders like the OP. They take advantage of good nature and people who find it hard to say no/feel awkward saying no

If it’s around Christmas / holiday season then that will be the reason. Or she just doesn’t want to do it. You’ve got time to find a dog boarder or someone to come to your house. You’ve asked twice, you can’t ask again. As she has said, dates are not convenient to her, for whatever reason.

She said no.

Get a dog sitter. She’s doesn’t want to do it. Stop asking her.

youre a CF

She won't be annoyed you found someone else. She clearly doesn't want to. Nor should she have to if she doesn't feel like it. It doesn't matter if she's busy or not. Just tell her you're getting someone else and not to worry about it.

Sense the friend does not want to commit as they are not sure what they might be doing - completely fair. Would be better if they just said this but I also sense this OP may not be easy to be open with as they seem to regard this dog sit as an ‘opportunity’.

I also wonder whether it may be tricky to get Kennels etc for around the Christmas period at this point ( if it is then) as they get booked well in advance or are closed.

*I know if I go back and say we’ve found someone else, she’ll probably get annoyed that we chose another option.
*

Really?! It sounds like she'll be quite relieved.

You say she's already dog sat for you a handful of times as if this means its her job to do it again.

How about just being grateful for the number of times she's already helped you out.

She's just started Uni and will probably have lots of end of term assessments due in December and after that a few social events.. so its clearly inconvenient for her.

Why not just accept that and ask someone else. I note you haven't mentioned anything about paying her.

I get that you just want her to be straightforward about it. It would save all the agro if she would say “Sorry, not that weekend.” Or even “I love your dog, but there’s no way in hell I’m going to look after him for you while you’re away.”

Instead she’s umming and ahhing and making a meal of it. Maybe she has something on but thinks it’s difficult for you to find someone and is trying to move things around. But that’s the best case I can come up with.

But you aren’t doing her a favour here. Of course it’s inconvenient for her and she may be feeling obligated but not really want to do it.

It’s frustrating that she’ll likely feel offended if you look elsewhere but I think you just need to bite the bullet and be straightforward with her. Something along the lines of “Hey Mary, thanks for thinking about helping Fido and me out, I realise it’s a big ask and you needed to think about it, but I don’t want to put you out at all or have you stressing about it and I need to get it sorted, so I’m going to look elsewhere.”

She doesn’t want to do it or she would have said yes. Pay a dog sitter or kennels. YABU.

She nicely telling you no

Take the hint and pay for kennels or a dog sitter.

Maybe she is also annoyed if you haven’t paid her for doing so before

Your dog is not her problem or responsibility. Dog ownership comes with the knowledge that is it very restrictive when it comes to holidayss

so, yes YABU