Asked friend to dog sit and she said 'it was a bit inconvenient'

[Terracottafarmers]

I've asked my good friend, who’s really good with our dog, if she’d be able to look after her while we’re away for a couple of nights in December. Normally I’d ask my parents, but since they’ll be away with us, we don’t have anyone else to help.

When I asked her, she said she’d let me know, but this is already the second time I’ve had to bring it up (even though she’s looked after our dog a handful of times before). This time she made a comment I found a bit odd 'Well, you haven’t chosen dates Diana that are exactly easy'. .

I just find the comment a little strange, you either can or you can’t. To be honest, it’s made me feel like I’m being a bit of an inconvenience even asking her. The only thing is, I know if I go back and say we’ve found someone else, she’ll probably get annoyed that we chose another option.

AIBU to feel a bit taken aback?

Is it Christmas Eve or New Years Eve and as she says they are not easy nights to find cover?

This! I would take from it that she doesn't really have a valid excuse not to but she doesn't really want to. Everyone has lots on in December and it is just a bit inconvenient.

It's different with cats, you can go in once a day to feed and empty litter tray. Dogs need a walk about 3 times a day and need human interaction alot more than cats.. Having a dog often takes the same time and care as a child needs which is why I don't have one.

Not wanting to do it is a perfectly valid excuse and OP is a CF on several fronts,

1. For asking at all in December
2. For not recognising an attempt at a polite refusal
3. For.not gracefully accepting that hint as a No
4. For whinging on MN about it

Then you say no if you don’t want to do it. Lots of people don’t want to look after someone’s dog as they aren’t comfortable doing it. Completely reasonable excuse to not want the responsibility. I have looked after my friend’s smallish dog. If a friend with a large German shepherd asked, I’d say no as I wouldn’t feel comfortable that I could control a Dog that big.

In the original OP before she edited it to try to make herself look less entitled.

Not unreasonable to ask once. Unreasonable for asking a second time and for being taken aback. Unreasonable to book a holiday without sorting dog first.

Some of these responses though, some of you must hate your friends.

Yes, completely concur with you
It's just common decency to be open & honest 🙏

Yes exactly, a friend should be upfront & just say no if it's unsuitable for whichever reason
At least then with openness, one knows where they stand 🙏

If you end up booking kennels, I’d advise doing it PDQ since if it’s anything like it is around here, they get booked for busy times very early. And make sure your dog has had all their jabs, since they won’t take him/her otherwise.

And as regards the friend, she really doesn’t want to do it, so please just accept that without feeling aggrieved.

I assume a couple of nights in December isn’t the 24th and 25th 😂.

Yes she should just tell you yes or no. I’d just go with someone elder or a dog sitter. But I do think it’s unreasonable to expect people to jump at the chance of looking after something of yours, knowing that they’re saving you a lot of money. It’s just rare where it’s not inconvenient to stay in someone’s house and take responsibility for something 24 hours a day when it’s not your job and you’re not getting paid that well

I voted YANBU as I would be taken aback and upset by a friend talking to me like that and I believe that's what you were asking.
It seems from comments that people have voted YABU for expecting your friend to sit your dog when I think all you expected was a civil answer letting you know either way.

well who knows given how vague the op has been in her request

This sounds like a wind up.

OP, are you always this entitled?
You booked a long weekend away in December, at a time when many people have plans, and assumed someone would look after your dog for you, presumably for free, and staying at your house.
Then you think your friend is being unreasonable for not agreeing to your request, as if she should just drop everything to help you out.
Reading through your post, it seems you're in the habit of foisting dog care on to this friend, who is presumably feeling - quite rightly - put upon - but is struggling to say no to you.
December is still months away - book your dog into a boarding kennel or pay a dog sitter.

Strange comment. What has loneliness got to do with asking for/doing favours?

And it's not entitled to ask for favours if you do roughly as many for them as they do for you. But I'm not getting the feeling that's the case in OP's scenario.

I'm also getting the feeling that OP is a taker and not a giver when it comes to friendship and favours.

Where on earth did you get that from what the OP wrote?

Because friends help each other where they are able to. People on here think that the Op was completely unreasonable/entitled to even deign to ask the friend to pet sit for her. Her friend could have said no but it was simply the asking that was considered unreasonable. If that is how most people think in 2025 I can understand why people don’t have many friends anymore and people live solitary lives.

On the basis of the other threads this OP has started…. You’re bang on the money

Well in the original OP before she edited it she said friend only has uni 2 days so it wouldn't affect her to look after OPs dog for a long weekend. And that friend would want to stay at OPs house than at home.

Pretty big assumption that friend's got nothing better to do or wouldn't be affected having to clean up after a dog and walk it in December, or that she prefers OPs house to her own home. Makes OP come across as pretty superior.

It's not the asking that's the CFery so much as the assuming that friend will jump at the chance to stay in OPs house and the assumption that expecting friend to be responsible for, clean up after and walk a dog in December when it's cold, wet and gets dark early 'wouldn't affect' friend. That came across like OP thinks friend WBU not to do it, if she thinks it wouldn't affect her. Not like OP understands she's asking a big favour.

But OP edited the OP to take those bits out.

Ok but where does it say she wouldn’t have taken no for an answer if the friend has simply said, ‘not sure of my plans yet, I can’t commit to this’

I've just looked and can't see anything that makes her a taker. What are you referring to?

I love my best friends but still would not want to look after their dogs, even if I don't have plans. My home is dog free & I like my own routine. Staying at their house to look after them would not be a nice change either. Neither do I enjoy picking up their mess when I take them for a walk. If she wanted to do it she would have said yes. Just because she's done it in the past doesn't mean she wants to continue to do it. Pay for a professional dog sitter!