Asked friend to dog sit and she said 'it was a bit inconvenient'

[Terracottafarmers]

I've asked my good friend, who’s really good with our dog, if she’d be able to look after her while we’re away for a couple of nights in December. Normally I’d ask my parents, but since they’ll be away with us, we don’t have anyone else to help.

When I asked her, she said she’d let me know, but this is already the second time I’ve had to bring it up (even though she’s looked after our dog a handful of times before). This time she made a comment I found a bit odd 'Well, you haven’t chosen dates Diana that are exactly easy'. .

I just find the comment a little strange, you either can or you can’t. To be honest, it’s made me feel like I’m being a bit of an inconvenience even asking her. The only thing is, I know if I go back and say we’ve found someone else, she’ll probably get annoyed that we chose another option.

AIBU to feel a bit taken aback?

She isn't obliged to do it just because she's done it before

There's literally nothing in the OP to suggest that OP does more favours for her friend than the other way round, where are you getting that from?

In the original OP you can see how entitled OP is, staying staying away from home and looking after a dog over a long weekend in December 'won't affect' the friend and even suggesting friend should be happy to stay in OPs house rather than her own home.

I highly doubt the friend will be pissed off if OP finds someone else to clean up after a dog and walk it in the cold and dark, that's not a treat.

Haven't read the thread so im sure many have said this but December is really busy for most people. For us, pretty much every day in the calendar is booked up with one thing or another. There's no way I'd be able to dog sit and I have my dog booked in already at the boarders for days I know we will be away. Look for a boarder or kennels now and book them in. It's not fair to ask someone to miss out on events around Christmas, you must realise that

"'Well, you haven’t chosen dates Diana that are exactly easy'. ."
She's right. All sorts of things come up in December, some at short notice, so I don't think I'd want to commit 3-4 months ahead to caring for your dog in December.

She hasn't given you an outright 'no' because she wants to help a friend. It would be better if she just said a straight 'no', but she's torn - so maybe you should behave like a friend to her and remove the problem by telling her you understand the issue and you've made other arrangements. And start looking to book a kennel for your dog for the couple of nights you need covered.

My son and his boyfriend have three cats and have asked me on a few occasions to go and house sit them in their apartment. I've always said no because I'm not really a cat person and I'm at the age where I don't want any responsibility for anyone or anything. Your friend likes your dog but doesn't want to look after him/her and you shouldn't expect this. Either pay for doggy to go into boarding or choose a UK dog-friendly holiday property. Good luck.

It's near Christmas. She is probably busy. Just put your dog in kennels. She doesn't want to do it but is too nice to say no.

Everyone is busy in December. At least everyone I know, as there are multiple meet ups, Christmas shopping/planning, family commitments, seasonal illness...

There is also a massive difference between the first week of December and the last two weeks.

You are inconveniencing her, obviously. It would inconvenience anybody in December.

@VickyEadieofThigh

Oh yeah totally if you stick ‘em in kennels. But you read here about people being total wet wipes and saying their precious mutt couldn’t cope in kennels and therefore they expects friends/family to dog sit for them. Those are the people who shouldn’t go away and should just stay home.

December is a month for socialising, especially over the weekends. So while she may not have plans yet, she knows that things will crop up and she’s doesn’t want to miss out on fun because she agreed a few months back to dogsit.

perhaps the dates are days she has plans that don't involve dog sitting. you have asked before and this time she is responding differently so i feel something about the arrangement makes her feel uncomfortable.

That’s how I read it. She asked her friend. If the friend said ‘no sorry’ then she would have looked elsewhere. Instead her friend said maybe and so the OP wasn’t sure if she should ask someone else. It then gets awkward as the friend might want to do it after all and get offended you asked someone else. I get this all the time when making arrangements, particularly with my children. I just want a yes or no. If it’s a no, absolutely no problem but the ambiguity and then you aren’t sure if you should ask again is so annoying.

Absolutely. Never mind if your friend is put upon and stressed as long as your dog is happy. Who would put a mere human before a dog.

@Viviennemary

totally agree! People come first over dogs - always

Then the friend should say no. It’s a 2 letter word, quite easy to say! Why all the stalling and ambiguity? Just say ‘sorry I can’t commit to that time as don’t know my plans’. Very simple and clear.

She said she'd let you know, so wait for her to let you know. I often carnt commit to something straight away because I have to take my own life into consideration. Looking after your dog isn't high on her list of her own priorities. If she can do it she will let you know when she knows what's happening in Her Own life.

Its not convenient for her. That's your answer

Get a dog sitter you rude, entitled user. Looking after someone else’s pets is NOT enjoyable at all and you act like you’re doing her a favour.

And in December? Are you away for Christmas?! I wouldn’t pet sit anyone in December and it pisses me off when friends ever ask, I never want to do it and they act like you’re being awful if you say no. I don’t have my OWN pets as I don’t want that stress of getting someone in when I want to go away, it’s literally your issue to solve. You’re being a nob. STOP ASKING.

Read the room; “A bit inconvenient” means no!! You’re friend obviously isn’t saying a direct no for some reason, maybe a people pleaser, but just move on no hard feelings, and don’t ask again

Sorry but who would want the faff of looking after someone else’s dog in December. She’s already said the dates aren’t convenient! Op does need to find a different dog sitter and asap if it’s December she’s going away. She knew this when she booked tbh and was just rudely expecting the friend would do it.

Sorry but who would want the faff of looking after someone else’s dog in December. She’s already said the dates aren’t convenient! Op does need to find a different dog sitter and asap if it’s December she’s going away. She knew this when she booked tbh and was just rudely expecting the friend would do it.

You can’t ever ask your friend to help you? Wow. I’ve asked friends to help feed my cats on a number of occasions. Sometimes they can do to, sometimes not. They just say yes or no. I had no idea I was being entitled just by the mere fact of asking them. And we wonder why people are lonely these days…

Watch OP say it’s Christmas week or NYE 😆

I have looked after my friend’s dog in December.

I don’t have pets so don’t need to ask people. But no when we had a dog we never asked people, we took dog with us on dog friendly breaks or booked a dog sitter. Lots of people do this. And I can’t stand being asked to look after people’s pets as it’s nearly always over a bank holiday, Christmas etc when I want to be doing my own plans with my own family/other friends. Asking me to feed cats isn’t the same as asking me to watch a child in an emergency or to help a friend cover a medical appt. I do help friends with their children but I don’t enjoy looking after other people’s pets, that isn’t weird? I’m also very allergic to cats and so I had to take antihistamines the entire bank holiday I last agreed to feed a friends cats and so won’t be doing it again. It’s not unreasonable to not want the responsibility of someone else’s animals and some pet people are bonkers.

Ok? That doesn’t make her friend unreasonable to not want to do it. This thread seems a split of pet owners who don’t mind doing it, maybe as you share dog sitting back and forth and those of us who have been asked and hugely inconvenienced by it and don’t have our own pets so looking after others isn’t exactly fun. Being asked to care for someone’s dog adds a burden to me and OPs friend has said dates aren’t convenient for her. So time to find a dog sitter or kennels.