To think that paying for airplane seats has broken air travel for families?

[raggedymum]

I just get so stressed when I see anything about plane seat issues - everyone is all "you should pay" but it doesn't take into account all the things that can go wrong, and there is now zero compassion or willingness to shift from other passengers. And somewhat reasonably, as they have paid for their seats!

I'm still traumatised from 6-leg (3 each way) flight last year with DH and then-10yo DD, where despite paying close to £1K to select seats (for very tall DH to get extra legroom and make sure the family was sat together), we sat together on only 1 of the 6 legs. First leg was fine. Second leg - long haul - 2 of the 3 seats we had booked were literally broken and NO ONE could sit there. It took ages for the flight attendants to find anyone willing to move to allow me and DD to sit next to each other for the 8-hour flight. DD (probably ND, we're looking into it), not having flown since she was 4 before the pandemic, was in tears and terrified. At least DH got his extra legroom in the non-broken original seat. Then, that flight encountered weather and we missed the connection. So obviously we didn't have the seats we had paid for on the flight that left before we got off the plane. Again, massive difficulty to find anywhere to get even two seats together. I managed to get behind DD (aisle seats - yet the middles next to us didn't want to move to an aisle to allow us to sit together - I have actually seen threads from people explaining that they chose such on purpose...). Return journey they had overbooked the plane and printed boarding passes with our seats for multiple people. Again, lots of angst but we got DD and me next to each other (and DD absolutely in a panic remembering the problems on the flight over, and me not so far behind). Weather again, and despite actually making the connection, we got there so late they had removed our seats from the system and put other people in them. This time DH was crunched in a regular seat and we did manage to get me and DD together in some middle seats. Final leg the plane was a different type than planned, so at least nobody had seats they had booked, although people still insisted on their seat if they existed in this plane. Again, couldn't get three together and lots of difficulty over arranging for me and DD together. Didn't help that DD was a very tall 10yo (see tall DH...) and people seemed to think she was a stroppy teen and not a panicking possibly-ND 10yo at the end of a very long series of flights.

I'm grateful that I managed to get next to DD on all but one of the legs, but it was so incredibly stressful that I have a panic response at the thought of flying long-haul again, making me really not want to visit family overseas anytime soon...

I completely understand that people don't want to give up seats they may have paid £100+ for. But the fact that everybody pays for very specific seats now means that the gate staff can't shift people who haven't yet checked in around (while keeping groups together) like they used to, to help sort out groups broken up for various reasons. And there is no sympathy because "you should have paid" even when you DID pay (a lot!).

I wonder if instead of picking specific seats, you could pay for "3 seats together with extra legroom", "an aisle seat in cheap economy", etc. I guess that would be much harder for the airlines to sort and figure out if they even could sell that combination, instead of just showing the little maps you select from.

I think paid seat allocation creates more problems than it solves.

you start with the stress of wondering if your seat will be free or you’ll have to ask someone to move, and whether they will, even though you’d probably have been just as happy to have sat a row in front or behind if you were just getting on and picking

I often swopped seats on buses, planes and trains, sometimes to avoid people talking across me. But now, if I offer to swop, it’s not clear if I’m swopping with someone who has bought their seat, an unclaimed seat, or they’re sitting in someone else’s seat, so I hesitate to offer.

I think, on the whole, it has created hostility and difficulty unnecessarily. But because of this, it also becomes all the more necessary to pay to sit together, and all the more important to defend your territory because you’ve paid.

I do remember the early days of cheap air travel, when it was pretty much a free-for-all with everyone racing onto the plane, trying to get the seats they wanted. People who needed assistance, and families with small children did go to the head of the queue, but it was a dog-eat-dog world for everyone else.

I’m assuming that people objected to this, and wanted to be able to book a specific seat, so seat allocation was added to the extras you could pay for. But clearly that has thrown up its own problems.

I’m honestly not sure what the answer is.

Gosh what a horrible journey OP - 3 leg long haul is horrible at the best of times but especially with a nervous child being sat away from you.

We are a family of 4, fly a lot, and I have never paid for seats and we have always been in 3 & 1 or in 2 & 2. Kids have never had to sit separately.

Here’s what helps IME: for long haul, join the loyalty club of whatever airline we are flying with (as this often permits free seat selection at check in) and always check in online as soon as it is allowed (like within 30 min) - I check when online check-in opens and set a diary reminder.

It also helps that my very tall (6’3) husband doesn’t expect extra leg room, just an aisle seat.

Admittedly we would probably still run into problems with the situation you describe, with missed connections and airlines abandoning allocated seats. Sounds horrendous. You were very unlucky, but I hope you don’t let it put you off forever.

I liked the old system and hate the new one. And I say that as someone who is very tempted not to pay extra to sit next to my seven-year-old. Someone else can listen to her yack about Bluey and Minecraft for a few hours, especially if I offered to swap with them and they refused.

Next time you get stuck next to an ND child seperate from their parents it certainly will be your problem though!

The only problem I remember is that the first people to board would usually choose seats near the front, then block the aisles as they put their bags in the overhead lockers. They should have been made to sit down until everyone was seated, then they could faff about with their luggage. (I always put mine under the seat in front, so no aisle-blocking by me).

The price varies according to how popular a crossing is, which type of cabin you want, when you book, etc. but if you could travel on 19 November, in an inside cabin, with Cunard allocating the exact cabin, you would pay £1497 for all three of you.

But an inside cabin??? Isn't that rather horrible ?

Jeopardy? I work for a tour operator that sells charter flights for holidays. We don’t offer seat booking in advance except extra legroom. Seats are allocated at check in by booking reference and somehow everyone ends up sitting with who they want to, with the very rare exception when a flight is totally full and a large or odd-numbered group are the very last to check in. There’s no jeopardy and there never was.

I agree with you OP.
Airlines should not allow these situations to happen. They should either increase the price so seat selection is included. With certain seats having a premium. Or Ryan Air actually has a fair policy where at least one parent must pay for a seat and they can have the children sat next to the for free.

If I recall rightly you could pay for priority boarding then too so it was still a matter of paying to increase the probability of sitting where/with whom you want. It was horrible though - I wouldn't want to see that system return!

Thanks for stories like these. It felt like "this is how airtravel is" with not having flown long-haul for a while before that.

Also just a bit spooked overall about travelling to the US in the current climate. Keep imagining being separated from the family (both DH and DD have US passports - DD is a dual citizen) and not allowed in. DH thinks I'm being silly. Probably am as a very white woman with a family.

We've never had problems by not booking flights. We have always had seats together, even when doing the 24hr check-in.

Airlines should not allow these situations to happen. They should either increase the price so seat selection is included....

Not the worse idea but you have to make that pricing model mandatory for absolutely everyone (and it's here that a pps point about jurisdictions has some validity).

If you don't force the bundled regime onto everyone those that can stick with unbundled pricing have a massive advantage when it comes to advertising low fares verses airlines that are forced to include seat selection in the advertised base price.

Many people are incredibly price sensitive (as an example see a parallel thread running ATM about self catering on board)...so anyone able to carry on unbundling and carry on advertising low fares has a massive advantage of those that can't.

It"s pretty much the scenario that led to legacy airlines having to follow the LoCos down the unbundling route from the 90s.onwards

Apologies not RTFT.

Has anyone mentioned flying via Shannon, where there is US border control.

So if it all goes wrong, you are, happily, in Ireland. Not Trump's US.

I never pay unless it is insanely cheap <£5.
Just make sure you check in at the earliest possibility and if there are seats together that will fit your group size you will get them.
No airline will dot you all over the plane deliberately, only if there is no alternative.
Also saw a hack for Easyjet/Ryanair, etc. where you don't pay for seating and then just before you check in, go in to book the maximum number of passengers they will allow and then go through to seat selection stage and select all the solo middle seats. Then go back to your original booking and check in and hey presto you won't get any of those seats. Then just abandon the new booking. Don't know if it works, but it makes logical sense.
Good luck.

@Putneydad7 Ryanair do it deliberately, it’s well documented. None of the others do to my knowledge. I’d never ever pay for seats at time of booking with easyJet, because in hundreds of bookings that I’ve checked in for clients over the years they’ve never been seated apart. I’d check in a month ahead as soon as it’s possible and if by some fluke we weren’t seated together then I’d pay at that point.

Last time I flew I booked seats for myself and my family. I was sat next to a woman who hadn't booked seats for her family because in her experience on other airlines her family had always been sat together so she genuinely hadn't thought it was necessary.

On getting on the flight the person allocated next to her was happy to swap with her daughter. I also offered to swap with her son (despite having paid for my seat) but she was happy that he was ok just behind but said she would let me know if he got upset or needed to swap for landing. He didn't need to swap and in fact the couple in their 20's he was sat with moved around so that he could have the window seat for landing.

My experience of flying is that most people are thoughtful and help each other out of they can. Obviously that isn't always going to be the case but I think your experience plus all the stories on here are affecting your view of how likely it is to have problems.

There’s no jeopardy if you don’t mind/care where you end up sitting.
There is if you do.

I on the other hand recall. Flights forced to be in th back by the smoking rows feeling sick and a couple of times throwing up due to the smoke.

Veey happy that's long gone. I prefer the middle of the plane.

I wouldn't use the word "meltdown" to describe what my ND kid may do if separated from their parent -- that may cause the crew to put you all off the plane. It only takes a fear of something happening to cause them to choose the safe bet and remove the possibly disturbing passenger.

I agree, we did a ferry this year and it was great. We could take our own food, eat when we wanted to, walk around. On some routes you can book a cabin too, even for the daytime sailings. DS finds crowded noisy places overwhelming so it was good for him, he could go escape to the cabin when he had had enough. (Obviously this only works for short haul holidays).

Statistically the back is the safest place to be

I’m sure they’ll have an iPad to play with.

They will both need to travel to the US on their US passports not their UK ones. You’ll be on your UK one so I guess you might end up in a different queue. But no reason any of you should not be allowed in. Just have a plan of where to meet/wait eg go to the gate or what.

I’ve flown short and long haul loads with my family. I’ve never paid for seat selection and we’ve always just been allocated together so I do think you were unlucky.
Luckily it’s a problem that goes away. Mine are now 13 and 15 and would be fine seated away from me - although it’s not happened yet!