To think that paying for airplane seats has broken air travel for families?

[raggedymum]

I just get so stressed when I see anything about plane seat issues - everyone is all "you should pay" but it doesn't take into account all the things that can go wrong, and there is now zero compassion or willingness to shift from other passengers. And somewhat reasonably, as they have paid for their seats!

I'm still traumatised from 6-leg (3 each way) flight last year with DH and then-10yo DD, where despite paying close to £1K to select seats (for very tall DH to get extra legroom and make sure the family was sat together), we sat together on only 1 of the 6 legs. First leg was fine. Second leg - long haul - 2 of the 3 seats we had booked were literally broken and NO ONE could sit there. It took ages for the flight attendants to find anyone willing to move to allow me and DD to sit next to each other for the 8-hour flight. DD (probably ND, we're looking into it), not having flown since she was 4 before the pandemic, was in tears and terrified. At least DH got his extra legroom in the non-broken original seat. Then, that flight encountered weather and we missed the connection. So obviously we didn't have the seats we had paid for on the flight that left before we got off the plane. Again, massive difficulty to find anywhere to get even two seats together. I managed to get behind DD (aisle seats - yet the middles next to us didn't want to move to an aisle to allow us to sit together - I have actually seen threads from people explaining that they chose such on purpose...). Return journey they had overbooked the plane and printed boarding passes with our seats for multiple people. Again, lots of angst but we got DD and me next to each other (and DD absolutely in a panic remembering the problems on the flight over, and me not so far behind). Weather again, and despite actually making the connection, we got there so late they had removed our seats from the system and put other people in them. This time DH was crunched in a regular seat and we did manage to get me and DD together in some middle seats. Final leg the plane was a different type than planned, so at least nobody had seats they had booked, although people still insisted on their seat if they existed in this plane. Again, couldn't get three together and lots of difficulty over arranging for me and DD together. Didn't help that DD was a very tall 10yo (see tall DH...) and people seemed to think she was a stroppy teen and not a panicking possibly-ND 10yo at the end of a very long series of flights.

I'm grateful that I managed to get next to DD on all but one of the legs, but it was so incredibly stressful that I have a panic response at the thought of flying long-haul again, making me really not want to visit family overseas anytime soon...

I completely understand that people don't want to give up seats they may have paid £100+ for. But the fact that everybody pays for very specific seats now means that the gate staff can't shift people who haven't yet checked in around (while keeping groups together) like they used to, to help sort out groups broken up for various reasons. And there is no sympathy because "you should have paid" even when you DID pay (a lot!).

I wonder if instead of picking specific seats, you could pay for "3 seats together with extra legroom", "an aisle seat in cheap economy", etc. I guess that would be much harder for the airlines to sort and figure out if they even could sell that combination, instead of just showing the little maps you select from.

This. I pay specifically for window seats (and on long hauls I wish I could buy the middle one, too) and am not moving.

I read your OP thinking you were extremely unlucky to have this experience, then I noted you are flying in US and think this is very typical of the shoddy airline services in that country.

Unfortunately people suck these days. Nothing wrong with a polite 'no thank you' if they really didn't want to move. Don't see why you wouldn't though, a seat is a seat and I find it hard enough next to my own kid let alone someone else's stressed child with no parent in sight.

I hear you on the 3-4 leg flights - I don't think people who haven't had to travel to small town USA realize the faff it is. Last trip we chose direct flights with a night in a hotel for each stopover - 3 direct flights, each a day apart, explore a bit of each of the 3 cities before the next flight, then after the last a good night's sleep then up to drive 4+hrs to the teeny tiny hamlet. I reckon it's the only way to go with a family traveling in those circumstances. Takes longer but so much less stress, and you get to see places you might not otherwise.

Also quick tip for within-US travel we discovered - they overbook flights, and on full flights there's not enough room for everyone's carry on in the bins. If they ask for volunteers to check bags at the gate, do it - you then get priority boarding. You can still take a small personal item bag so that takes care of headphones, phone, passports, chapstick etc. We just wore extra clothes on, things in pockets. Was gold for the airlines where there's no assigned seating, we all ended up together no problems, and even the assigned ones it really helped. Direct flights = less chance of bags being lost too.

Im aware... I still prefer the middle and the window seat not the middle.
The middle seat is also is statistically the safest.

I don’t understand why the people who complain don’t just pay to book the seat. I bet they’d still book if the seat cost more and it had free seat booking.

We have a panicky ND child who hated the last flight we took him on aged 6. So we had a break but then it was much much longer than we anticipated.
So we went to Manchester airport and went round the static plane.
Then we went to Jersey, then Spain. Finally we were ready for long haul.
He did really well - and has been fine since.
It IS possible to build up to it and it does work. That's how anxiety works.

I don't disagree to some extent but the problem is in the real world a couple might choose to allow themselves to be split if they can save, say £60 on the fare...

Maybe the airlines can do the exact opposite of what they do now. The fare advertised includes everything, hold luggage, seat choice and food then during the booking process these can be deducted and the fare reduced, so someone wanting to fly alone with hand luggage, not wanting food, would pay a lot less, those wanting the whole package pay for it.

@JudgeJ

Maybe the airlines can do the exact opposite of what they do now. The fare advertised includes everything, hold luggage, seat choice and food then during the booking process these can be deducted and the fare reduced,

That's sort of how it used to work, problem is the LoCos broke that model way back and a lot of the general public helped them do it.

Fundamentally it has been shown that the public like low fares.

So if airline A has:

"lowest fare of £100 but if you book with us you may be able to reduce"..

whilst airline B has:

"lowest fare £80, extras cost more"

The vast majority of people will opt for airline B and then maybe argue about paying the extras later on.

FWIW I know I've made that point before but it"s based on having worked at a legacy airline right through the arrival of the LoCos.

Our sales/marketing gurus, using focus groups, surveys and god knows what else belatedly realised what the likes of MOL had already worked out:

(a) That you have to unbundle fares to survive..because.

(b) The paying public will tell you to your face they like the idea of an all inclusive fare but when it comes to holiday booking season and actually putting money on the line if they have an option they tend to gravitate towards the airline that offers up front, plastered over their website, the lowest base fare.