To feel resentment that my parents are so well off

[Lissm]

I know I will get flamed for this...
My parents are in their early 70s. My father worked in a factory in a low skilled job and was made redundant when he was 56, and retired on a full pension. My mother worked on and off as a cashier and stopped working at 57.

They have a house which must be worth close to £800k, purchased for £40k, and £200k+ in savings and investments. They are able to save at least £1k each month.

We have worked just as hard as they have but we will never have their sort of financial security. We have 6 months of savings and that's it.

I feel so angry that this has happened - not at them but at the situation.

I thought every subsequent generation would at least enjoy the same standard of living. I dread to think what is going to happen to my children.

Honestly, I get sick and tired of people showing utter contempt and jealousy of their parents.
Grow up and be thankful your parents are comfortable in their retirement.

I'm glad my boomer parents own their own home and pensions that enable them a decent standard of living in retirement. Neither ever earned a lot of money but they worked hard and scrimped to get where they are now. Even so, it has been far harder for me and my siblings to get on the property ladder and they have tried to help us where they can.

I disagree that the silent generation had it easier than us. Many of them were born in wartime and lived under facism and / or experienced the Great Depression. I'd rather have the challenges of a Millennial. The Boomers are really the anomaly in terms of demographic good fortune.

Also OP a lot of posters on this thread will be the age of your parents so don't expect much sympathy!

How did they buy a £40k house on those salaries? My parents same age and annular jobs and their house was 8k

@FrenchandSaunders It's interesting and shocking to me that that would be your reaction. I can't fathom the sort of person you must be...

What, in their early 70s?

I am in a similar position in that I own a house worth approx £600,000 although I pain £400,000 for it 15 years ago. I also have in excess of £350,000 in savings and a drawdown pension pot. My savings were initially accrued through careful saving once my children were financially independent and an inheritance from my Mum. I also downsized from the family home when I moved back to my home town which released some cash to invest.

However there are two differences between me and the OPs parents. I no longer save anything as my pensions from working plus the State Pension do not cover my current outgoings. My retirement plan was to use my pensions for basic needs and dip into my savings for holidays, car expenses, home improvements etc. So my savings depleted for a few years then my mother died.

I also appreciate how fortunate I am and regularly gift money to my three children so they can have a better life. I give them a large sum of money for Christmas and their birthdays each year as well as the permitted £5k for a wedding gift to the one who is now married. I am also planning to pay for a family holiday next year when my daughter gets married and cover my sons flights from Canada.

I hope they are not bitter about my situation and enjoy the gifts they get. They do encourage me to treat myself and are currently nagging me to get my bathroom remodelled to help me as I now have mobility problems. If one of them was in need, I would not hesitate to bail them out and would downsize my house if needs be.

Ive worked hard as a single mum to three children and sought promotions at work even though it meant long hours working in a pressured job to improve my income. I paid my mortgage off early but continued to put the monthly payments into investments which greatly increased my savings. I lived through the days of huge mortgage interest rates, only just managing to keep the house.

I do not consider that I’ve had an easy life but I’m certainly enjoying an easy retirement and enjoying treating my children now I can afford to.

When you get older, no childcare, no mortgage. House value rises, suddenly you’re well off. I am but I struggled massively when I had a young family.

Do belueve that it’s possible to work in an unskilled low paid job x 2 your entire life to be able to buy a home and raise a family and stay still in those unskilled low paid jobs and then retire with a million in assets, with no handouts from relatives, likd the OPs oarents did (who were born somewhere between 1945 and 1965ish)

Do your honestly believe that has been possible for the generations after them, as a normal standard way of life here ij the UK? If you do, you've bedn living under a rock (or have been incredibly sheltered by your own parents)

How sad to be so jealous and resentful that your parents are having a secure and enjoyable retirement.

Younger generations are fitting the bill & yet looking forward to a poorer retirement but heaven forbid they get a bit resentful 😆

Early 70s! .... heaven forfend!

funny that my post has been quoted above a post which has absolutely zero relevance to what I wrote!

They’ve been very fortunate, and it’s true that subsequent generations probably won’t have the financial security your parent’s generation enjoyed as it wasn’t sustainable. But honestly, give your head a wobble. The time and place we are born is just dumb luck, you have still been born in the UK and it sounds like you are comfortable with savings and parents you no doubt intend to inherit from too. You could have been born in Ukraine and had to flee your country with nothing, could have been born in Gaza and be trapped in a war zone with your kids and family dead, could have been born in Afghanistan and be unable to leave your house or even stand at the window. If 90% of the world’s population thought like you, saw what you have and how fortunate you are they would resent you. It’s completely unreasonable to resent your parents because they have more than you when it’s not through any nefarious actions of their own, unless you expect to be and are okay with being resented for your own good fortune?

I was lucky enough to buy my first home in the mid-70s - mortgages easily available and house prices not too high - mind you the interest rates were eye-watering!
Mortgages weren't easily available. There was no click-of-a-mouse. You had to save with the Building Society for several years, to show them that you could meet the mortgage payments.

I bought my first house (terraced 2 up 2 down) in 1980 on a nurse’s salary with a mortgage. It cost me 28,500. Zoopla tells me it was sold in Jan 23 for £450k with no extension built. Nearly 16 times its value so yes, I can believe OP’s parents house has gone up that much

It has every relevance.

It’s impossible to be able to do today what so many of the boomer generation were able to do.

How are they able to save 1000 a month when their pensions can’t be much? On/off cashier work and low paid factory labourer work can’t have a pension paying out that much? And how did they manage to save 200k in savings etc from those jobs?

Actually that was not my experience .... we just provided income evidence and away we went. We had a very tiny deposit.

I think you’re talking about a later generation than the OP?

This. And I'm one of the "lucky" ones - own a house, both in above average paying jobs.

But we just can't live a reasonable standard AND save enough to mean we'll not be in poverty when / if we retire. The thought of being able to retire at 56 is absolutely wild.

I pointed out that with parents whose assets are a million pounds, the OP stands to have the sort of financial security many people could only dream of. She’s highly likely to inherit one day. Unless she returns with a massive drip feed that her parents have written a will leaving everything to the cats home!!
When she inherits, I hope she doesn’t mind her own kids being utterly resentful at her good fortune.

Unless they need full time care. Then you can pretty much wave any inheritance goodbye.

I once read that boomers are unique in being the only generation that handed on a worse world than the one they inherited.

usually society works together to improve things for the future, Boomers didn’t.

That only works if you 1. Have kids young and 2. Get on the housing ladder young.

Most people can't afford to buy until their mid 30s and will be paying their mortgage until their 60s. Professionals are having kids later too.

Because the cost of living wasn’t anything like it was today. It was perfectly possible to have a decent standard of living and do all of those things if you had two wages coming in, because the norm in those days was one.