To feel resentment that my parents are so well off

[Lissm]

I know I will get flamed for this...
My parents are in their early 70s. My father worked in a factory in a low skilled job and was made redundant when he was 56, and retired on a full pension. My mother worked on and off as a cashier and stopped working at 57.

They have a house which must be worth close to £800k, purchased for £40k, and £200k+ in savings and investments. They are able to save at least £1k each month.

We have worked just as hard as they have but we will never have their sort of financial security. We have 6 months of savings and that's it.

I feel so angry that this has happened - not at them but at the situation.

I thought every subsequent generation would at least enjoy the same standard of living. I dread to think what is going to happen to my children.

As I said, it’s highly likely to be a future mis selling scandal. Regulators aren’t there to protect the stupid or credit cards with usurious interest rates wouldn’t exist.

If you need to go into permanent care then the home has to be sold and the loan/interest paid back, yes. This is why the max is 60% of the value. A lot of people end up selling their house to pay for care though.

Some people take out equity release to put extensions on their houses and increase the value.

The bottom line is that some people would prefer for example to have 200K cash in their hand to spend now, than leave a 400K estate when they die, while continuing to live in their property.

To some people that looks like a bad deal. To others it makes a lot of sense.

I'm not going to judge either way, as it is very dependent on an individuals personal circumstances and what their life objectives are.

Yeah. A distant relative took it out when he retired and (just an example) when told on death his for e.g. 400k house would be sold, 100k loan and 25k interest paid back to the lender he was a bit like - so what?

Yes we did have dinner parties or supper parties in the 80s. Often quite homely dishes , making the most of cheap cuts; with a nice pudding. Apple tart and lemon meringue pie are as cheap as chips to make. Usually left overs for the next day. A meal for 8 was about a quarter the cost of going to a restaurant for 8. But there would be reciprocation.

We also had a party for about 30 once a year and again there was reciprocation.

There were lots of social opportunities: some sport related, some cultural, the cinema, some people went to church. Sometimes I met a friend for a walk, there are some lovely walks along the Thames, coffee and tea wasn't such a thing unless you were shopping or at a museum of gallery. But we often invited someone for coffee and cake to our homes.

If friendships require money to be spent, they aren't really friendships, are they?

This narrative of Boomers voting for Brexit really annoys me especially as no one in my social circle of Boomers actually did. 40% of over 65s voted Remain. Other more influential factors for voting for Brexit were ethnicity (white), employment status (unemployed or in manufacturing) and educational attainment (lower). So why don’t we try seeing the complexities of that situation, rather than suggesting Boomers screwed it for everyone.

I’ve said it before, but I”ll repeat myself - I am not responsible for the Global economy over the last 50 years just because I benefitted from it. Rather look at the multinationals driving out small businesses, the companies like Tesco who don’t paying a living wage, the greedy shareholders decimating utilities and the corrupt politicians who don’t think further than the next election. They are rubbing their hands that we’re blaming each other rather than seeing where the real responsibility lies. Divide and conquer indeed

There was no eating out.
When friends came round, it was crisps, salted peanuts, glasses of shandy or cups of tea.
Watched tv or played music and same when we went to theirs.
Some (including us) had outside toilets so in Winter we preferred the friends with inside loos 😁

Sometimes we would gather at the pub, just a few lagers, beers and crisps. No shots, cocktails, pub meals, but as living improved a bit, ladies drank babychams and bacardi and coke.

Amazingly, girls as young as 11 or 12 would babysit while their parents went out. And no phones to ask for help if needed, only the public telephone boxes if they were working!

64% of over-65s voted to Leave

yougov.co.uk/politics/articles/15796-how-britain-voted

Most boomers weren’t over 65 in 2016.

My post (today 15.10) was about the 70's.
Things got a bit better in the 80's and I agree with you, you don't need money for real friendships.

We had lots of fun outings and walks with our DC and friends, which cost nothing at all. Parks, sandwiches and flasks.
The good old days 😊

You sound quite selfish. My dad was certainly not poor but he worked his ass off for what he had and retired with a few million in assets. He died right after he retired at 65 and now a few years later, with a wealth manager, that money is worth about 6 million. When my mom passes it will prob be worth 10. My brother and I will inherit that but we would both much rather have seen my dad enjoy his retirement and spend that money on things he and my mom could have enjoyed together, a million times over. Be happy that your parents can comfortably enjoy their final years together.

I think it depends on the circumstances. I'm disabled and couldn't maintain my friendships without money. I don't enjoy walking and talking at the same time - too exhausting so it's not something that would help me connect with someone. I'd feel exhausted and miserable in their company if we always did that. It's also risky having people round in case they stay too long and it causes a crash - pubs/restaurants are much safer in that respect. I have sleep disorders so most cafes are closing by the time I'm up and dressed. Cinema is now crazily expensive but it's not really a social thing unless you go for food or drink afterwards. I'm not everyone though. If you can do day meetups walking I can see how it might work.

Tsk - don’t introduce facts to a thread based on identity politics, it's against the rules (or simply pointless, I can’t quite recall which).

We could deal in facts and talk about the reality of winners and losers in every generation, what could help the losers of each generation but that is so passé - much more fun to demonise a “them”, pretend they have had lives of milk and honey and then express surprise when the policies based on fact free assumptions don’t fix anything.

Debts are not inherited (in E&W, nor anywhere else I’m familiar with).

The deceased’s debts are paid out of the estate by the executors before distributing what is left to the beneficiaries according to the Will or law.

Exactly. And if there’s not enough left the debt is written off.

The previous posters who have pointed out that not all boomers have done well do have a point. Within-generation inequality is much bigger than between. If we dealt with the former, then it wouldn't matter so much that some people have selfish parents, because work would matter more than inheritance.

Selfish parents because they won't give their money away?
How dare they do what they want with their own money!!
Scandalous.....

And thanks for deciding that not all boomers have done well. Where would we be without others discussing our past work and lifestyle.

Give us your employment situation and lifestyle and we'll decide whether you're spending your money correctly.

I think someone needs to go for a nice calming bike ride... 😅

But the OP can’t be happy because she sounds eaten up by resentment and jealousy.

Being jealous of your parents, is like being jealous of yourself in 20 years. You have to compare yourself against other 20 somethings.

The vast majority of people are richer at 50 something than at 20 something because they have been saving and paying down debts for 30 years.

As are quite a few on this thread.
It's sad really.....

Nothing to add about OP that hasn't already been said. I just wanted to say I'm so sorry you lost your dad and he didn't get to enjoy his retirement. My story is similar. I hope you get to enjoy life for him now x

I hope you’re joking. Someone I knew said this type of thing about their parents. The karma came when they didn’t outlive their parents.

It was a clearly sarcastic post made as a dog at the OP!