Plane seats - refused to swap

[Annoyed321]

please bear with me, I really need to vent but I need advice too.

Holiday with DH, 8 year old DD and 5 year old DS. Our seats were allocated away from each other. Not even on same aisle literally scattered on different parts of the plane. DH books and sorts checking in and I don’t usually get involved. He tried to apparently check in 24 hours before the flight but there was an error (he didn’t tell me), he was unable to check in and was advised online chat to see a member of staff at airport when we were flying, we get to check in on day of flight and lady says she can’t sit us together. I pleaded with her to at least let there be one of us sat with each child, no problem about all 4 of us sitting together.

She said to ask people when we get to the seat if anyone will swap with us. When we got there everyone refused, which I don’t really blame them as they checked in and chose their seats we didn’t or couldn’t.

I got very emotional as my 5 year old was crying about not sitting next to me DH as usual was unbothered and was just standing around looking unfazed. I’m really embarrassed about my reaction but he said it’s fine and I said it’s not fine “I’m not having my kids sat in between strangers”. It wasn’t as dramatic as I’m making out as it was over very quickly as the cabin crew we spoke to on boarding were able to allocate 2 seats together. Myself and my 5 year old took it and DH sat 2 rows In front of DD who was sat inbetween 2 men, DH was also sat between 2 guys so made no difference where I put her.

I was upset the entire flight and kept asking DH to keep an eye on DD, DH kept rolling his eyes and ignoring me. I felt like a bad mother leaving my child sat there with strangers. I feel embarrassed incase anyone videoed me at the start asking/pleading with people to please swap seats to allow me to sit next to my 2 kids. I only asked about 2 people and they avoided eye contact and ignored me, again I get it.

advice: DH is old fashioned (or should say a complete knob) he won’t share the booking details of flight with me as he’s worried I will mess up the booking, like I’m a stupid child! So I need advice please how can I make sure I am sat next to my kids on flight back home? I will need a booking reference I know which I will have to keep asking him for but the holiday was booked via Expedia and I think that’s what messed up when was trying to check in online 24 hours before. How can I check in if flights were booked with Expedia? I will call them if he doesn’t share booking ref but I doubt they will speak to me due to data protection. Any advice please?

Please be kind and don’t make me feel worse than I feel. Can anyone at least relate with me about how upset I was about DD sat alone? I am a survivor of childhood SA so my feelings might be out of place but I also read a news article literally a few days before flight if a 15 year old girl getting assaulted by a fellow passenger during a flight do these things do happen.

But as I said upthread (down thread?) I wouldn't move because it would mean splitting up me, DH and DD (3). I've paid so neither of us have to sit with her alone, so I'm not going to move. Is that OK or should it only be childless people that have to move to (probably) a crappy middle seat? I think it's lovely you'd be prepared to move, but I don't think it's fair to judge others who won't. Everyone has their reasons, whether you think they're worthy or not 🤷‍♀️

I won't use third party sites to book flights anymore due to numerous problems in the past. Your third party confirmation number for the flights is often not the reference number that airline needs for you to select seats and check in with them. Read all your booking docs carefully and hopefully you can find the booking number that is the airlines reference number. With that you should be able to access the airline website and pay to book seats. This works for the majority airlines, not sure if it will work for the cheapest. Good luck.

In your situation I would have sat the children together for take off and landing. During the flight I would have got my 5 year old to sit on my lap and the 8 year old on the seat.

When I have paid £40 for a seat I want, next to my child (who I have also paid £40 for) - then yes I do believe its my right to sit in the seat I have paid for - and no I won’t move just because someone didn’t want to pay!?

Who was the flight with? I recently booked a holiday with Loveholidays, and they book your flight with Ryanair. Then you have to verify your booking with Ryanair using the reference code in your booking confirmation from Loveholidays. Then the flight is totally separate from Loveholidays, and that is where you can add luggage allowance and choose your seats and check in for your flight. I assume Expedia works the same way, and your DH didn't bother to verify the flight and that was why he couldn't check in. So what you need is the booking confirmation email. You can ask him to forward it to you, if he won't let you log in. I'm sorry it was so stressful OP, and I hope you don't have any more holidays with him again, he sounds awful. Enjoy your holiday.

@Zonder I think the 3rd party is Expedia but according to their site, you can book seats. Never booked this way myself so I can't be sure.

If you book with Jet2 they have a policy where you have to sit with your children and they keep seats spare for this. I booked a last minute getaway and there were only random seats dotted around the plane left (there and back). They reassured me that we would all be sat together and we were. 8 and under always with a parent and 9 to 12 I believe it’s on the next row max distance away and any age above that, 2 rows max.

Depends on your Expedia-Airline- destination combo, but we flew Easyjet this summer booked through Expedia and had no difficulty with online check in to Crete or Canary Islands.

Id happily swap to an equivalent seat. But if ive paid for an aisle seat (becasue im claustrophobic) theres absolutely no way id swap for a middle or window seat.

Ryanair do not let you not buy an alocatted seat if your booking with a minor on the booking. You have to pay for the seat but you can not randomly alocate a minor.
I fly with them 40 or 50 times a year on random seat alocation and it is pretty even between window, middle and aisle. But if people have bought all the windows then there is much mire chance you will not be getting one, obviously.
But if you use a 3rd party they can book you as random wirh a minor. That is tge ussue if it is Ryanair.

Thank you everyone. I’ve PM’d some of you the 3rd party name and airline! I will post once I get home. Thank you for taking your time I hope this will be sorted now. DH is going there early tomorrow to sort out. I can’t check messages now as I’m going out for dinner. I will definitely update soon. Thank you.

@Zonder MN seem to hide any posts mentioning Exped1a so I'm guessing it's that one. I've read that you can book seats in advance through them. Personally, I only ever book directly with the airlines.

I don’t think they’re expecting anyone with children to move so their child can sit next to them. They a referring to adults without children.

I booked through a 3rd party (travel company) recently and you still have to check in with the airline yourself. Your DH will have been sent an email from the airline 28-30 days prior to your flight stating that check-in was open. At that stage, if you need seats together, you go on line and ‘check in’ at which point you select your tickets… and pay. Sorry, but this is still a DH issue.

If you need paired seats you do NOT leave it to 24hrs prior to departure to select your seats. Doesn’t matter whether it is BA, Easy Jet etc… check in is done by the lead passenger as you have to enter passport details and confirm whether visa are needed/obtained.

I do feel sorry for you OP, however this came about. Hopefully you can choose your seats for the return flight but if not, encourage the DC to think of it as an adventure sitting alone. Make sure they know where you and DH are sitting and that you can make eye contact with them. If you aren’t stressed about it, they won’t be. You don’t have to stay seated for the flight, you can get up and talk to them once the seatbelt sign goes off.

Once you’re in the air the cabin crew will be more able to help you find seats together, if they haven’t already on boarding.

seems more your dh

So you booked a package of flights and accommodation with E-pedia? Because you didn’t book direct with the airline it’s causing an issue I guess.

Do you not think there's a compromise?

Like knowing how many people have booked with DC under 12, and pre-allocating seats for these families ensuring they don't sell certain seats in formations that would make it impossible for them to sit together in advance.

BA manage it, plenty of other airlines manage it.

I think it’s different when you’ve paid. I would happily move, if there was a cash reimbursement plus a bit extra that would be paid to be there and then. People need to be organised at the time of booking and have the money to pay the extra to sit together, if they want to. The airlines are businesses, not charities.

I thought it was an aviation requirement that U12s must sit with a parent, therefore the airline's responsibility to ensure that, therefore no point in paying to reserve seats for children?

I’m sorry, that sounds really upsetting. Hope it was a short flight

I have booked a cheap KLM ticket via Expedia and not been allowed to checkin online. So I understand this happening to you, OP.

When I try to checkin electronically the message says not allowed, go to counter at airport to checkin. It might have to do with checking ID, I don't know.

I am allowed to go into my booking on the KLM site soon after booking, and I can choose meals and pay for seats in advance, just not the checkin and getting the free seat choice at checkin time.

So maybe your husband thought he could as usual checkin online but that wasn't possible. But it should be possible to go online and pay to choose tickets days before the flight back. So do try to get the 6-letter code from your husband, use your wiles!

(Did you keep the boarding pass from your flight over? It should have the code on it.)

Sometimes check in only opens 24h in advance.

Not all airports allow online check in.

OP, in probably the last 15 to 20 years of "budget" airlines I have always booked and paid for my allocated seats at the time of booking the fliight/holiday. Why on earth don't you and your husband do this? Yes, the price is shown separately, but you know it's part of the cost of the trip, so just suck it up, ie Flight £500 plus Seat reservation £25 = £525....this is what your trip actually costs!
I really have no sympathy with people who can afford a foreign holiday, but still persist in trying to cut corners.

I find it baffling that if people are that desperate to sit next to each other, they don't book seats together. I've paid extra so why should I move for someone who has decided not to?