Plane seats - refused to swap

[Annoyed321]

please bear with me, I really need to vent but I need advice too.

Holiday with DH, 8 year old DD and 5 year old DS. Our seats were allocated away from each other. Not even on same aisle literally scattered on different parts of the plane. DH books and sorts checking in and I don’t usually get involved. He tried to apparently check in 24 hours before the flight but there was an error (he didn’t tell me), he was unable to check in and was advised online chat to see a member of staff at airport when we were flying, we get to check in on day of flight and lady says she can’t sit us together. I pleaded with her to at least let there be one of us sat with each child, no problem about all 4 of us sitting together.

She said to ask people when we get to the seat if anyone will swap with us. When we got there everyone refused, which I don’t really blame them as they checked in and chose their seats we didn’t or couldn’t.

I got very emotional as my 5 year old was crying about not sitting next to me DH as usual was unbothered and was just standing around looking unfazed. I’m really embarrassed about my reaction but he said it’s fine and I said it’s not fine “I’m not having my kids sat in between strangers”. It wasn’t as dramatic as I’m making out as it was over very quickly as the cabin crew we spoke to on boarding were able to allocate 2 seats together. Myself and my 5 year old took it and DH sat 2 rows In front of DD who was sat inbetween 2 men, DH was also sat between 2 guys so made no difference where I put her.

I was upset the entire flight and kept asking DH to keep an eye on DD, DH kept rolling his eyes and ignoring me. I felt like a bad mother leaving my child sat there with strangers. I feel embarrassed incase anyone videoed me at the start asking/pleading with people to please swap seats to allow me to sit next to my 2 kids. I only asked about 2 people and they avoided eye contact and ignored me, again I get it.

advice: DH is old fashioned (or should say a complete knob) he won’t share the booking details of flight with me as he’s worried I will mess up the booking, like I’m a stupid child! So I need advice please how can I make sure I am sat next to my kids on flight back home? I will need a booking reference I know which I will have to keep asking him for but the holiday was booked via Expedia and I think that’s what messed up when was trying to check in online 24 hours before. How can I check in if flights were booked with Expedia? I will call them if he doesn’t share booking ref but I doubt they will speak to me due to data protection. Any advice please?

Please be kind and don’t make me feel worse than I feel. Can anyone at least relate with me about how upset I was about DD sat alone? I am a survivor of childhood SA so my feelings might be out of place but I also read a news article literally a few days before flight if a 15 year old girl getting assaulted by a fellow passenger during a flight do these things do happen.

It’s not the airlines fault he did not pay for assigned seating (and he said he did not pay as he said he tried to select seats at check-in.)

It keeps hiding my message when I type in. I’m DM you if that’s okay

TUI, I suspect, or similar.

This is because they sublet out blocks of seats to specific travel conpanies and let them get on with it. And the online systems dont cooperate properly so you have to manage everything via expedia/onthe beach/loveholidays or whoever- who want to be able to upsell seats and luggage at their own (usually higher) prices.

Again, pay for seats at booking if you have to be sat together. ain your situation your odds of randomly being allocate together for free, when everyone else pays, are even less as you are limited to the expedia/whatever travel company block of only X number of seats, not the whole plane.

I am so intrigued as to the name of the airline.
Begins with an E but not easyJet? We used to have an error message always come back on DS’s last passport with Easyjet but now he is 15 weeks had to get him a new one and it’s fine. DD is younger and we never had a problem with her passport but maybe it is a common thing. I do really feel your pain as having to be twice on standby as unable to check in online is a pretty stressful flying experience

Are you just on a wind up now???

Never had an issue and I book plenty. Including Expedia. I wouldn’t travel with a partner who withheld essential travel documents from me though. Are you allowed access to your insurance policy details?

The child was only a row in front thats what airlines mean by sat together it can be a row infront a row behind or the row at the side but this is usually under 5s. Op daughter is 8 so they honestly could have stuck her anyway.
We always book our seats while booking the flight and just see it as part of the cost. I just don't understand why you wouldn't if you had kids.

do you know your seats for the journey back?

same as mentioned Edi (strangely I can call Ryanair a bunch of absolute shitbags though 😆)

TLDR none of this is travel company or airlines fault, this was always going to happen if you didnt pay at booking.

Honestly, if the airline has a business model that separates kids as young as 5 from a parent on a flight which could be long and/scary for them, they deserve to deal with kids fighting on board themselves.

I’m disgusted it’s come to the point where we’ve all normalised paying ‘extra’ to be near our children when flying. It isn’t an ‘extra’ for very young kids to have access to their caregiver, even if not in a stressful situation - but flying is stressful for many kids and adults. I don’t blame other passengers for not moving having paid money for their seats, but honestly what has it come to that companies taking in zillions of pounds have made us all act like sitting with young children on a flight is a bonus that should be available only to those who can pay? What if there’s an accident or strong turbulence? What if the kid needs the toilet but the seatbelt sign is on and they wet themselves? My kids get travel sick - does an unrelated seat mate want to deal with that? Does this policy apply to all kids in seats? Two year olds? Three year olds?

Your husband sounds like a controlling jerk, but budget airlines are fucking obscene and we should as a society push back. The level of ‘you should have paid’ and ‘everyone knows’ on this thread. But why have we been duped into thinking this is something people should expect to pay for? If everyone stopped paying for ‘extras’ which should be standard, budget airlines would stop squeezing every last penny out of us and start providing a fair price for a decent basic level of service which includes not separating young children from their parents. Instead we snipe at each other about what we paid for, when the thing itself - sitting by your loved ones - costs the company selling it to you nothing at all. It has no worth except for the worth we let them make of it.

Sorry for the rant, OP - but I would be really upset, too. Your husband simply must sort out buying seats before check in. I agree with other posters that if he can’t you have an option to buy separate flights back for you and your kids if you have access to money. You are not being silly and it’s completely understandable for this to be non-negotiable for you.

I think your DH cheaped out, he assumed you would be sat together and when you weren't he tried to make out it wasn’t an issue and then refused to let you look at the booking.

I'm confused. When I flew recently they allocated the children next to me. I didn't have a choice of the seats on the plane when booking the ticket or checking in. They were just sat next to me 🤷‍♀️ I think your DD sitting between two men is not OK. They should have had that changed.

I think it’s rude not to move, I really do. I always move, I find it baffling that there are so many threads and sooo many people who think it’s ’their Right’ to sit in their booked seat. Yes, you chose it, but now you need to swap. Although, once my husband had someone ask him to swap, to economy..ha… which really is cheeky fuckery.

I totally empathise how stressful it is when you can't sit beside your child. I nearly had this yesterday. We'd booked our seats together but were changed to a different aircraft with completely different seats assigned. My five year old had a seat in the front row and we were in the 9th and 14th. I was lucky enough that the staff found us seats together. It happened before on a bus also I'd booked seats together but the seat was damaged and blocked off and nobody would swap so he had to sit across the aisle from me. Honestly just do the bookings yourself, check in well in advance its not worth the worry and stress.

Phone the airline, tell them the date and time of the flight coming home and ask them to help you book and pay for the seats.

Your husband is a controlling twat!!

This is an example of how your DH is not your partner, doesn't give an F about his kids wellbeing and treats you like you dont matter (cos he doesn't bother telling you stuff he should and leaves you to deal with tge fall out).

Seriously he would not be with me at all.

Hope your DD was OK.

was The airline owned by Stelios??

if so - as check in opens 7 days in advance it was likely there were no seats.

i used to work for the company you named and it really doesn’t work that they have any way to allocate seats

My god. How much do the travel company who must not be named pay to have their name hidden? I was sticking up for them 😂

People who need to (and pay for) certain seats for health reasons would really not appreciate your insinuation that we “prefer to sit near a lone child” if a family like this one messed up and wanted us to move.

Have you rang the airline directly? If you haven't I would ring them before going to the airport.

Tell us the airline so we can avoid it.

I'll go against the grain and say people were dicks for not swapping and more importantly an airline which seats 5 year olds away from any parent or guardian is unsafe for both emergencies and safeguarding and makes me doubt their procedures completely.

thats check in policy though, not pay for seats which you can do at booking time (they arent going to stop you spending more).

This ^
could be that he booked too late and there were no seats together available?
however in this situation I would (and I did in the past) go for another flight or at least book two seats or the best seats available as the middle seat is always tricky to swap.

So you think people who have paid for a specific seat should move for people who haven't

For what it's worth, I fucking hate having to pay for something that should be included in the booking price and I think airlines which deliberately seat children away from their parents are absolute arseholes, but if you have paid to choose your seat, of course you should be allowed to sit in the seat you have chosen.

These people aren't being refunded the extra money they paid.

I would move if I hadn't paid to select my seat, or if I was being offered to swap to a better seat. But if I was in the seat I wanted, having paid extra for the privilege of choosing that seat, I wouldn't swap unless either the airline agreed to refund me the fee or the other passenger agreed to give me cash for it.