Plane seats - refused to swap

[Annoyed321]

please bear with me, I really need to vent but I need advice too.

Holiday with DH, 8 year old DD and 5 year old DS. Our seats were allocated away from each other. Not even on same aisle literally scattered on different parts of the plane. DH books and sorts checking in and I don’t usually get involved. He tried to apparently check in 24 hours before the flight but there was an error (he didn’t tell me), he was unable to check in and was advised online chat to see a member of staff at airport when we were flying, we get to check in on day of flight and lady says she can’t sit us together. I pleaded with her to at least let there be one of us sat with each child, no problem about all 4 of us sitting together.

She said to ask people when we get to the seat if anyone will swap with us. When we got there everyone refused, which I don’t really blame them as they checked in and chose their seats we didn’t or couldn’t.

I got very emotional as my 5 year old was crying about not sitting next to me DH as usual was unbothered and was just standing around looking unfazed. I’m really embarrassed about my reaction but he said it’s fine and I said it’s not fine “I’m not having my kids sat in between strangers”. It wasn’t as dramatic as I’m making out as it was over very quickly as the cabin crew we spoke to on boarding were able to allocate 2 seats together. Myself and my 5 year old took it and DH sat 2 rows In front of DD who was sat inbetween 2 men, DH was also sat between 2 guys so made no difference where I put her.

I was upset the entire flight and kept asking DH to keep an eye on DD, DH kept rolling his eyes and ignoring me. I felt like a bad mother leaving my child sat there with strangers. I feel embarrassed incase anyone videoed me at the start asking/pleading with people to please swap seats to allow me to sit next to my 2 kids. I only asked about 2 people and they avoided eye contact and ignored me, again I get it.

advice: DH is old fashioned (or should say a complete knob) he won’t share the booking details of flight with me as he’s worried I will mess up the booking, like I’m a stupid child! So I need advice please how can I make sure I am sat next to my kids on flight back home? I will need a booking reference I know which I will have to keep asking him for but the holiday was booked via Expedia and I think that’s what messed up when was trying to check in online 24 hours before. How can I check in if flights were booked with Expedia? I will call them if he doesn’t share booking ref but I doubt they will speak to me due to data protection. Any advice please?

Please be kind and don’t make me feel worse than I feel. Can anyone at least relate with me about how upset I was about DD sat alone? I am a survivor of childhood SA so my feelings might be out of place but I also read a news article literally a few days before flight if a 15 year old girl getting assaulted by a fellow passenger during a flight do these things do happen.

Exactly this I pay for our seats and I will not move for someone who hasn't. People think airlines won't seat kids alone so don't have to pay but they absolutely will.

Your dh could have sat between the two men two rows behind him where your DD sat and her sit in between the two men your dh sat with. At least then he could've seen her better without craning his neck round which some men/their partners would find hard not to find insulting because of the obvious reason they were being watched. I'm not suggesting people shouldn't watch their kids amongst strangers but maybe it would have been better to be a bit less blatant., especially with you keep telling him loudly to keep an eye on her.

If flights are booked with Expedia it does not matter - you still check in and select seats via the airline direct.

i did have this recently on easyJet where there policy is under 5s need to be seated next to the parent - but also can be seated in row behind or in front of. Luckily I was able to make a swap.

I pay for my seats as soon as I book next year's holiday as I want us all together and at the front of the plane.Your dh messed up big time.

This is outrageous! Question why they want to sit next to a small child? Really? Maybe they booked to be on an aisle or a window seat as they have anxiety, need loo access, want to be at the front vs the back of the plane etc. Who would they have even swapped with? I’d rather sit next to a child than be next to a toilet tbh.

If flights are booked with Expedia it does not matter - you still check in and select seats via the airline direct.

i did have this recently on easyJet where there policy is under 5s need to be seated next to the parent - but also can be seated in row behind or in front of. Luckily I was able to make a swap.

if it’s easy jet - their check in opens 7 days before flight

I’m confused they let a child sit alone. We always pre book seats, but I am
sure an airline once told us young children have to sit near their parents anyway? Maybe look that up. So basically, even if you didn’t pre book at least a child would be with either one of you, even if you didn’t all sit together (all four)

Sorry, you want to accuse someone of being a pedophile in order to get them to move?! Bloody hell, I've heard it all now 😳

It said this when I booked our long haul flights too as soon as I put in the ages of my children, but mine are much younger than 8. Maybe there is a cut off? Seems odd.

Airline Policies

• Most airlines strongly recommend that children under 12 sit next to a parent or guardian for safety and convenience.
• Some airlines require it if the child is under a certain age (often under 2 for lap infants).
• If seats are full or purchased separately, a child may end up sitting elsewhere, but the airline usually tries to keep families together if requested.

This came up after a quick search

I thought children under 12 were meant to be sat with at least 1 parent. I'm a single parent ans travel frequently, but I pay extra to sit together to ensure we are not separated.
I think it sounds more like you have a DH problem. I also think its a bit mean spirited of other passengers not to swap.

I think all the issue happened as we booked via 3rd party. Any one with experience of this? Why are they asking us to come to airport and sort out face to face why not over the phone or online? Sorry for my ranting earlier but DH I know didn’t skimp on the price. This is the cheapest holiday we have ever been on and money is not an issue. He’s never booked 3rd party before. He’s not perfect in anyway but I think I wrongly blamed it on him, apparently it’s a well known issue with the site. I will name the airline when I get home safely!

Having usually paid a fair bit of money to choose seats, I point blank refuse to swap and I don't care who it pisses off. However it does sound like your DH made an utter balls up of the booking OP. Can you get someone back home to log in and see if they can select seats, pay on a credit card then sort it when you get back?

if you look at the guidelines, 'near'is defined as sonething like 'within 4/5 rows'. And Ryanair give no fucks.

We also pay to sit WITH our children and I’d be mightily pissed off of someone asked my DH to move so they could then sit with their child (and as airlines are usually 3 across yes this could happen).

And this is why we book direct with the airline. Third party booking sites are often rubbish at sorting out issues.

And for those saying that leaving it until 24 hrs before the flight to check in is too late, that’s policy with some airlines unless you’re a frequent flyer with them (looking at you BA).

But he didn’t pay to have you sitting together did he? So he did scrimp. Sounds like a lot of blaming others and not twat DH taking responsibility goes on.

An “error” ha! More likely there was something he was meant to do to book assigned seat and he forgot and yet he’s being all patronising acting as if you’re going to mess things up.

I feel a bit guilty for blaming it on him. He’s really trying to sort it out. I’m appalled at Ex*a and the airline.

I’ll update once we get home.

Hahah yes re Ryan air! My nine year olds seat was double booked 😝 the other passenger just about accepted to move from near me

I would be equally upset and refuse to go on further trips with him if he can not share details. My DH shares bookings and sometimes I book and he is a very traditional husband. He opens the car door for me, he carries the heavy shopping and he empties the car. I don't strain or lift a finger but he isn't toxic. Your husband is not traditional he is just a horrid miserable uncaring man child.

We book via a 3rd party and they always check us in and sort our seat numbers. Who was your 3rd party?

Sorry you were so upset, but really your DD was in very little danger. Most men don’t assault small children in public places where paid staff and the parents are close by. Next time insist on booking the flights yourself.

I used to work in travel and this is not the case. Expedia is the vendor. Even if you book the holiday as a package if you look at your bank statements you will notice that there is a transfer that takes money directly from airline. Your booking is exactly the same as if you had booked directly

OP please read this message.