Plane seats - refused to swap

[Annoyed321]

please bear with me, I really need to vent but I need advice too.

Holiday with DH, 8 year old DD and 5 year old DS. Our seats were allocated away from each other. Not even on same aisle literally scattered on different parts of the plane. DH books and sorts checking in and I don’t usually get involved. He tried to apparently check in 24 hours before the flight but there was an error (he didn’t tell me), he was unable to check in and was advised online chat to see a member of staff at airport when we were flying, we get to check in on day of flight and lady says she can’t sit us together. I pleaded with her to at least let there be one of us sat with each child, no problem about all 4 of us sitting together.

She said to ask people when we get to the seat if anyone will swap with us. When we got there everyone refused, which I don’t really blame them as they checked in and chose their seats we didn’t or couldn’t.

I got very emotional as my 5 year old was crying about not sitting next to me DH as usual was unbothered and was just standing around looking unfazed. I’m really embarrassed about my reaction but he said it’s fine and I said it’s not fine “I’m not having my kids sat in between strangers”. It wasn’t as dramatic as I’m making out as it was over very quickly as the cabin crew we spoke to on boarding were able to allocate 2 seats together. Myself and my 5 year old took it and DH sat 2 rows In front of DD who was sat inbetween 2 men, DH was also sat between 2 guys so made no difference where I put her.

I was upset the entire flight and kept asking DH to keep an eye on DD, DH kept rolling his eyes and ignoring me. I felt like a bad mother leaving my child sat there with strangers. I feel embarrassed incase anyone videoed me at the start asking/pleading with people to please swap seats to allow me to sit next to my 2 kids. I only asked about 2 people and they avoided eye contact and ignored me, again I get it.

advice: DH is old fashioned (or should say a complete knob) he won’t share the booking details of flight with me as he’s worried I will mess up the booking, like I’m a stupid child! So I need advice please how can I make sure I am sat next to my kids on flight back home? I will need a booking reference I know which I will have to keep asking him for but the holiday was booked via Expedia and I think that’s what messed up when was trying to check in online 24 hours before. How can I check in if flights were booked with Expedia? I will call them if he doesn’t share booking ref but I doubt they will speak to me due to data protection. Any advice please?

Please be kind and don’t make me feel worse than I feel. Can anyone at least relate with me about how upset I was about DD sat alone? I am a survivor of childhood SA so my feelings might be out of place but I also read a news article literally a few days before flight if a 15 year old girl getting assaulted by a fellow passenger during a flight do these things do happen.

It’s not that much. We are travelling with our 16 and 18 year olds but it’s their first time flying. Dd wanted to sit with me, ds and DH not bothered however jet 2 wouldn’t seem to let me only choose 2 out of 4 seats so ended up paying for all of us and if was only £106 for both flights. Not too bad really.

I think you should automatically get to choose at time if booking and then if you are not bothered where you sit you can untuck and get a reduction. I think if people see it more as a saving to not choose, rather than a cost to choose, it might change people’s mindsets about it.

💯

Don't book through 3rd party vendors, check the price and then book through the airline. While booking, pick your seats. Might cost a bit more but you won't be begging or looking for a hug on social media

We choose our seats when we book, leaving it until 24 hours before is very risky as what if everyone else has checked in and there are actually no seats left together anyway by the time you check in? If you are this upset about it you need to get your husband to help you sort it for the way home. I wouldn’t want to sit away from my kids either but then I’ve always pre-booked my seats well in advance of checking in so………

You know, the other thing that fucks me off is having to select hold luggage or no hold luggage for everyone in your group. We're flying long haul next year and I wanted to have just two hold bags between four of us, but it was four or none. When I tried to find out how much it would cost to just add two hold bags to the booking later I went round the houses with their chat bot before concluding that it wouldn't save us any money. So we've paid for two hold bags we won't be bringing because our 3 and 5 year olds won't be able to carry their own luggage anyway.

This was my thought too, I’ve never paid for specific seats and have no issue being sat away from my DH. I’ve always found that they sit a child with a parent - I’m sure the airline don’t want the safeguarding risk either.

I paid £8 each for me and DS's last time we flew. That's hardly "hundreds of pounds"

Your cheeky. Pay for the seats, which you would have if you were so bothered. Stop asking people to help you out. You deserved it but not the husband who sounds awful

I have bladder issues. I pay to have an aisle seat. I also pay to sit with my family as I like that.

So no, I am not moving because you didn't want to pay for your seats. Sorry. If there was an issue and you were moved flights or what ever, I would swap for another aisle seat, but if it was purely down to your husband refusing to book seats like everyone else, then that isn't my problem.

I booked with Ryanair to fly up to Edinburgh from Bournemouth, me and our 15 yr old DD, it looked a great price initially-then realised we wouldn't be sat together, didnt want that so paid for allocated seating , the cost shot up,
I hadn't flown for 26 years so it was a steep learning curve for me,
On the flight a family with young children asked to be sat together, a lady moved for them straightaway, I would move if I was on my own.
Hope the flight back works out for you.

Which airline is this? When we flew to America me, my partner and my mum and step dad all bought our seats next to each other on the same row and when we checked in they had moved all of our seats to seperate ones to accommodate a family with 2 small children who hadn’t paid for the seats but under 11’s couldn’t be sat on their own without a parent… well you can imagine how livid we were.

You can book the seats at the point you booked the trip! That is how I do it to make sure I sit next to my kids. Depending on the airlines- but usually you can log in and book the seats in meantime.

Up to 8 they will sit you together, but together can mean adjacent / in front etc. Only way to guarantee for return is to call airline or go online and pay now to do this - if avail. You will need booking ref though, so you will have to get this off hubby. If it’s a package maybe speak to rep in resort. If you put it all together you will need to do this yourself. My children would be very distressed alone so I always pay now, but every child is different. So sorry your hols started like this, f do not worry about being upset - travelling is stressful and things going wrong make even v calm people upset! Enjoy the break and hopefully you get sorted for the way home. Xx

Normally airlines are as accommodating as possible (sometimes not the case with the likes of Ryanair). Explain the situation at the gate ASAP

It’s not an error at all. Seats are given to people who pay and you get whatever is left over!

I can feel your stress through your post.

To posters saying children should be seated with parents - if every other person on the flight paid for their seats and single ones were the only seats left why should people give up theirs?

Hope you get sorted before heading home OP

No you weren’t wrong in your reaction and anyone would feel upset leaving their child alone. Yes we know you can pay to sit together and you’ve said you would do, so obviously this was an anomaly. Your husband is the issue, one for not checking on her and rolling his eyes and two for not telling you the details to ensure this doesn’t happen on the way home. I would be tempted to tell him you refuse to fly if he doesn’t let you sort it out.

Why didn’t you pay extra to ensure you sat together? Surely that’s non negotiable when travelling with young children otherwise you can’t complain when you don’t get your way when others have paid for their seats

To ensure tell sit together, you have to at for allocated seats. It has nothing to do with the airline or check-in.

So, you need to get the booking reference and buy your seats for the flight home.

I don’t understand why your husband with small children wouldn’t pay for you all to sit together.

I wouldn’t go away again with your husband. His behaviour is absolutely ridiculous. You need to tell him about his controlling behaviour. He’s a right dick!

Lol, crazy ha! Who are these people? What happened to them? 🤣

I can totally understand how distraught you were... The problem is definitely booking through Expedia as because it's a third party you can't book your seats in advance because you have an Expedia reference number not an airline one. These days I always buy directly with the airline. I would try contacting both Expedia and the airline you'll be flying with directly to explain the problem you had on the way out and see if there's anyway they can book you seats together for the return journey

Because if you read the OP, you'd know her DH booked the trip

It's because the budget airlines spotted a way to maximise income by offering paid seat selection and so they monetised it.
Some airlines (national flag carriers, perhaps) may automatically seat minors with adults on the same booking but it's not guaranteed, unless it's spelled out.
With older children you might be prepared to take the gamble but they know full well that parents flying with under 12s, say, will not be willing to take that chance. And will cough up.
I am flying with BA next month and yes, I've paid to select our seats. I went online to have a look at how they were selling and there was precious little left for 2 adults to sit next to each other. So I coughed up too. We're almost literally a captive market.

She literally didn’t blame them at all?

You shouldn’t feel embarrassed by your reaction. I used to fly for an airline - there were rules in place including young children not being sat next to a male stranger. I would check online about this, and question it if you are faced with a similar situation again.