Plane seats - refused to swap

[Annoyed321]

please bear with me, I really need to vent but I need advice too.

Holiday with DH, 8 year old DD and 5 year old DS. Our seats were allocated away from each other. Not even on same aisle literally scattered on different parts of the plane. DH books and sorts checking in and I don’t usually get involved. He tried to apparently check in 24 hours before the flight but there was an error (he didn’t tell me), he was unable to check in and was advised online chat to see a member of staff at airport when we were flying, we get to check in on day of flight and lady says she can’t sit us together. I pleaded with her to at least let there be one of us sat with each child, no problem about all 4 of us sitting together.

She said to ask people when we get to the seat if anyone will swap with us. When we got there everyone refused, which I don’t really blame them as they checked in and chose their seats we didn’t or couldn’t.

I got very emotional as my 5 year old was crying about not sitting next to me DH as usual was unbothered and was just standing around looking unfazed. I’m really embarrassed about my reaction but he said it’s fine and I said it’s not fine “I’m not having my kids sat in between strangers”. It wasn’t as dramatic as I’m making out as it was over very quickly as the cabin crew we spoke to on boarding were able to allocate 2 seats together. Myself and my 5 year old took it and DH sat 2 rows In front of DD who was sat inbetween 2 men, DH was also sat between 2 guys so made no difference where I put her.

I was upset the entire flight and kept asking DH to keep an eye on DD, DH kept rolling his eyes and ignoring me. I felt like a bad mother leaving my child sat there with strangers. I feel embarrassed incase anyone videoed me at the start asking/pleading with people to please swap seats to allow me to sit next to my 2 kids. I only asked about 2 people and they avoided eye contact and ignored me, again I get it.

advice: DH is old fashioned (or should say a complete knob) he won’t share the booking details of flight with me as he’s worried I will mess up the booking, like I’m a stupid child! So I need advice please how can I make sure I am sat next to my kids on flight back home? I will need a booking reference I know which I will have to keep asking him for but the holiday was booked via Expedia and I think that’s what messed up when was trying to check in online 24 hours before. How can I check in if flights were booked with Expedia? I will call them if he doesn’t share booking ref but I doubt they will speak to me due to data protection. Any advice please?

Please be kind and don’t make me feel worse than I feel. Can anyone at least relate with me about how upset I was about DD sat alone? I am a survivor of childhood SA so my feelings might be out of place but I also read a news article literally a few days before flight if a 15 year old girl getting assaulted by a fellow passenger during a flight do these things do happen.

Pay to sit together. Only option really.

You’re not crazy. Any decent normal mother would get upset about their child sitting alone. Terrible situation. I can’t believe the air stewardess didn’t get someone to move!

Well you are bloody nasty aren’t you!!!

You have to choose and pay for the seats you want. Otherwise you are randomly allocated whatever seats are left after everyone else has booked their seats.

If you were really concerned about being separated from your kids you’d have paid for your seats. My children are 2 and 3 and I’ve paid for my even though it’s TUI policy to seat with children. Because I’m not entitled and don’t expect anyone to give you their seats for me

Your husband is being an absolute dick.

You really need to pay to choose seats at the time of booking, not just expect to be able to choose at check in. I’m guessing that’s becoming less and less available now. Airlines want to make their money!

But the big problem is that your husband is an absolute dick, as I said. Not allowing you access the booking is controlling and utterly unreasonable. Not joining you in trying to find seats together/ keeping a close eye on your 8 yo was also immensely shitty.

I couldn’t be with someone like this.

Yes. Grim.

Should have paid to pre book seats like everyone else with kids does

If you’d checked in online as soon as it opened - 30 days for some airlines - the algorithm would seat you together, or 2&2. Checking in last minute to a full flight there simply isn’t that flexibility

I am seriously losing faith in humanity reading some of these comments 🤦‍♀️

This.

No, it was a error by your husband. You book your seats when you book the flight. He was too tight to pay to guarantee you sit together.

You now need to do the online check in for the return flight and hope there are some unreserved seats together. Which you will have to pay for. If your idiot husband let's you.

But not untypical for Delta ... I try to avoid them in the US, but sometimes one just has to fly through Atlanta.

I would talk to him and get him onto it asap to make sure you are seated together coming back! He should be able to try and do that now, not necessarily at check in as usually you can book your seats before that stage. he's a bit of a twat not letting you do it when he actually messed it up!

I would advise paying to choose seats at the time of booking in future. Your husband is probably just trying to save money by not paying for this, and doesn't actually care if you're all sat together. Also your husband is very controlling if he doesn't let you have any access to the booking, and I would advise seeking advice from domestic abuse charities if this is an ongoing thing.

I book through Air France/KLM but unfortunately the US leg always ends up being operated by Delta.

I travel solo quite often and if I’ve paid for my seat, I wouldn’t want to move. It’s not fair to single out solos!

Some airlines will automatically seat you next to children so you dont. For example Tui so I never bother paying. I begrudge it as the price of travel is extortionate anyway. If you check in early there us more chance of you getting seats together but I've never had a problem. I think its a sad indictment of humanity that no one would move seats for you..surely there would be people on thar aircraft who hadnt paid for seats and it wouldn't be that big of a deal to move. Honestly it's everyone out for themselves these days. I like to think I would have moved if asked. I don't really care where I sit if the kids aren't with me.

It’s not an error. if everyone else paid for their seats there simply is nothing they can do

You usually pay to sit together when you book the flight, not wait until check in.

Depends on the airline too - with BA if you don’t pay for seats on booking they may send you special offers to tempt you, and you can go back into your booking to add them. SeatGuru is useful for choosing seats.

I remember trying to check in online with a certain Irish airline years ago and because middle child was under a certain age the online check in would not let me check him in. It would let me check the rest of us in though, so I didn't check in on line because it wouldn't include him. We got to the airport, got to the front of the check in queue and they said 'oh you will have to come out of the queue and check all of you in directly with the airline at their desk in the airport'. We did that for the cost of £150 (we had to pay because we hadn't checked in on line). Then we went back to the check in queue to be told we had 'checked in late' so they couldn't guarantee there was enough seats for us and that we would have to ask again at the gate.

So we asked again at the gate, they said we have enough seats but you won't be together.

Once on the plane they did seat us together but the whole thing was so unnecessary and such a performance just because their computer system wouldn't let a young child be checked in on line.

It took about 18 months but the airline refunded us the £150.

If it is a definite error with the booking system I would pay and then chase a refund once you are home OP.

Why would it be an error? If your husband didn’t check in until 24 hours before the flight the airline didn’t know until then you were coming and almost all the seats would have been allocated. Do you expect them to move people from chosen seats??? 100% blame here lies with your dickhead awful husband

You need to pay for seats when booking. If you leave it until 24 hours before, you are accepting that you will be seated randomly. It’s you and your partner that will need to sort this out.

How old is your daughter - I wouldn’t be happy with my 13 year old sat on her own between 2 men, a friends son a few years ago on a transatlantic trip got assaulted by someone sat next to him - because of that I’ve always paid up front for seats together - I wouldn’t risk it.

as for your husband - he’s a prick I’m afraid. Next time you take control of the situation and don’t leave him to do it.

id also have had the same response at the airport.

hugs op