Plane seats - refused to swap

[Annoyed321]

please bear with me, I really need to vent but I need advice too.

Holiday with DH, 8 year old DD and 5 year old DS. Our seats were allocated away from each other. Not even on same aisle literally scattered on different parts of the plane. DH books and sorts checking in and I don’t usually get involved. He tried to apparently check in 24 hours before the flight but there was an error (he didn’t tell me), he was unable to check in and was advised online chat to see a member of staff at airport when we were flying, we get to check in on day of flight and lady says she can’t sit us together. I pleaded with her to at least let there be one of us sat with each child, no problem about all 4 of us sitting together.

She said to ask people when we get to the seat if anyone will swap with us. When we got there everyone refused, which I don’t really blame them as they checked in and chose their seats we didn’t or couldn’t.

I got very emotional as my 5 year old was crying about not sitting next to me DH as usual was unbothered and was just standing around looking unfazed. I’m really embarrassed about my reaction but he said it’s fine and I said it’s not fine “I’m not having my kids sat in between strangers”. It wasn’t as dramatic as I’m making out as it was over very quickly as the cabin crew we spoke to on boarding were able to allocate 2 seats together. Myself and my 5 year old took it and DH sat 2 rows In front of DD who was sat inbetween 2 men, DH was also sat between 2 guys so made no difference where I put her.

I was upset the entire flight and kept asking DH to keep an eye on DD, DH kept rolling his eyes and ignoring me. I felt like a bad mother leaving my child sat there with strangers. I feel embarrassed incase anyone videoed me at the start asking/pleading with people to please swap seats to allow me to sit next to my 2 kids. I only asked about 2 people and they avoided eye contact and ignored me, again I get it.

advice: DH is old fashioned (or should say a complete knob) he won’t share the booking details of flight with me as he’s worried I will mess up the booking, like I’m a stupid child! So I need advice please how can I make sure I am sat next to my kids on flight back home? I will need a booking reference I know which I will have to keep asking him for but the holiday was booked via Expedia and I think that’s what messed up when was trying to check in online 24 hours before. How can I check in if flights were booked with Expedia? I will call them if he doesn’t share booking ref but I doubt they will speak to me due to data protection. Any advice please?

Please be kind and don’t make me feel worse than I feel. Can anyone at least relate with me about how upset I was about DD sat alone? I am a survivor of childhood SA so my feelings might be out of place but I also read a news article literally a few days before flight if a 15 year old girl getting assaulted by a fellow passenger during a flight do these things do happen.

Well for one, my seat would be next to DH. Who is the other side of us; I couldn’t give a toss. Makes no difference to me if it’s a child, it’s not my child, it’s not my responsibility.

Not really. Young kids panic about things. They are at risk of not being treated well by adults around them and not old enough to be assertive. If something had gone wrong with the flight it would make things more serious and dangerous and terrifying for the children on their own especially if they were surrounded by self centred types.

But it doesn't really matter does it, because you wouldn't know or have the time to discern whether they were grumpy or disabled 🤷‍♀️

Well I think that indicates which 50 percent you'd be in!

Goodness, what a society we live in! Perhaps one day you will need the kindness of strangers, would you want peop to walk by and say "not my responsibility"?

In the plane scenario, the responsibility is always with the parents to do what’s best and in the context of this thread and that scenario, pay to sit together (if that helps). If you don’t pay for your seats, why would you take the chance upon booking of something stressful happening as a result of you all not sitting together?

Absolutely not true. I am
the first to jump seats for an elderly person or
aomeone with visual disabilities. It doesn’t seem you are aware that people with invisible disabilities wear lanyards now.
so spare the lecture please. I also can ask them kindly first if there was a particular reason for them to be seated there. 9 times out of 10, most individuals I have come across have been kind and courteous to the point they help us with our bags or try to entertain the kids.
Im guessing you are the other 1 in 10!!! Presuming you have never travelled woth young children and don’t understand the complexities of it.
But saying all that, I usually travel business or pick my seats wisely.

I find it odd that their where 4 single men sat together on a flight to a holiday destination during the school holidays. It isnt a mistake their is a thread on here every week about this exact same situation

Im disabled and i don't wear a lanyard their a disgrace to disabled people.

Well maybe the parents should have thought ahead and paid for their seats?

Edited to stay polite. I am out now!

Oh good God 😂

I have a 3 year old. I travel with her regularly on public transport. We are about to take her second trip on a plane. I know how stressful it is!

I have a disability - for which I have just obtained a sunflower lanyard. It's a developmental disability (i.e. I've always had it) but I've never had a lanyard before - and I've probably flown 50 times in my life. I haven't worn one before because I didn't particularly want to be singled out for my disability, but I've given in and gotten one for this trip. Not all disabled people wear them. There's a reason you see posters about invisible disabilities on trains!

As my disability isn't physical, I will always offer a pregnant woman, elderly person or disabled person a seat during the (minimum) 8 trips a week I take on public transport.

You know nothing about me.

Maybe they should. But this does effectively make children's seats more expensive than adult seats, which is rather difficult to justify from a moral standpoint.

I’d sit in the aisle for 4 hours for £100 🤣

Uh? Easyjet charged me £50 pp per flight, so £200 to chose seats for me and my dd.
These things aren't free, why exactly should i move for someone who is a cheapskate?

The £200 was almost twice the cost of the flights

If it is one of the budget airlines your only option is to pay extra to book specific seats together. If you wait til 24 hours before, some holidays will have been sold as packages with booked seats included and the only unbooked seats may be random ones scattered through the plane, leaving the airline no choice but to separate you.

Apparently overnightoats thinks anyone without kids should write off their loss because it makes "no difference" to them - and hell, if they're not wearing a sunflower lanyard they also expect the other person to disclose their private medical information!

If they asked me if there was a reason to sit in my sit (as they stated they would) I'd simply reply yes!

It's not the same at all. Because in your train situation, I haven't paid £50 extra for my seat that I now must forfeit. And the pregnant person hasn't made a deliberate choice not to pay for a seat, but will instead expect someone else to move at a direct cost to themselves! I have no problem moving in any of your train examples, but the sense of entitlement to expect someone to give up something they have paid extra for on a plane because you didn't, is ridiculous.

@teksquad Yes, you can pay for seats at booking or at any time up to check-in.

My point was that check-in only opens 24 hrs before the flight, and if you read the Ts & Cs your seat choice isn’t guaranteed.

I wouldn't expect anyone who has paid to swap. I was just saying when I flew recently I didn't prepay for seats but the children were sat next to me. Also I do think if there are children on the flight they should be sitting next to their adult or near them (same row) but that really is up to the booking system. But I wouldn't expect the flight to have a young girl sit between two men. They always moved me on flights when I flew alone when I was younger (even though then I didn't understand the problem!)

Who says I didn’t pay for my seat. I don’t fly budget airlines so all our seats are equal dear. So in these situations, these people are just rude.

EasyJet’s online check-in opens 30 days before the flight.

I think you should take a look in the mirror. I see you haven't bothered to reply to me because you got it horribly and completely wrong 😂

Well obviously you are not the target audience here. It’s childless single people travelling that it makes no real difference to if it’s 20D or 24D, whereas to young families this would cause separating them.

Well, as a member of your "target audience" @Overnightoatsareyummy, I like to sit where I have chosen & paid for. If you haven't, that's your issue not mine. Thank goodness, I fly Business class mostly, so don't have to deal with entitled cheapskates. Even though I'm one of those awful childless people whose comfort is of no account, according to you.

As said you can't always choose your seats at the time of booking. My DD was travelling from Liverpool to Dublin, then onto Chicago. I had to phone the airline directly, quite close to travel, to book seats. Because it's third party.
I booked last minute to go to Alicante for a four day break, I booked seats that you didn't have to pay for. On the way back the airline had separated a family. Even though they'd checked in weeks ago and the seat next to mine was empty, then the aisle seat occupied by a person on their own. We both swapped, after realising what was going on, but why the airline couldn't have easily sorted it out, is anyone's guess.

@ParmaVioletTea not all seats are an extra cost and sometimes they are only £5-£10.
It becomes everyone's issue if there are crying children all the way, because they are sat away from a parent.
When the Japanese aircraft caught fire, everyone only survived because the Japanese follow orders, but also because the airline sit families together.