Plane seats - refused to swap

[Annoyed321]

please bear with me, I really need to vent but I need advice too.

Holiday with DH, 8 year old DD and 5 year old DS. Our seats were allocated away from each other. Not even on same aisle literally scattered on different parts of the plane. DH books and sorts checking in and I don’t usually get involved. He tried to apparently check in 24 hours before the flight but there was an error (he didn’t tell me), he was unable to check in and was advised online chat to see a member of staff at airport when we were flying, we get to check in on day of flight and lady says she can’t sit us together. I pleaded with her to at least let there be one of us sat with each child, no problem about all 4 of us sitting together.

She said to ask people when we get to the seat if anyone will swap with us. When we got there everyone refused, which I don’t really blame them as they checked in and chose their seats we didn’t or couldn’t.

I got very emotional as my 5 year old was crying about not sitting next to me DH as usual was unbothered and was just standing around looking unfazed. I’m really embarrassed about my reaction but he said it’s fine and I said it’s not fine “I’m not having my kids sat in between strangers”. It wasn’t as dramatic as I’m making out as it was over very quickly as the cabin crew we spoke to on boarding were able to allocate 2 seats together. Myself and my 5 year old took it and DH sat 2 rows In front of DD who was sat inbetween 2 men, DH was also sat between 2 guys so made no difference where I put her.

I was upset the entire flight and kept asking DH to keep an eye on DD, DH kept rolling his eyes and ignoring me. I felt like a bad mother leaving my child sat there with strangers. I feel embarrassed incase anyone videoed me at the start asking/pleading with people to please swap seats to allow me to sit next to my 2 kids. I only asked about 2 people and they avoided eye contact and ignored me, again I get it.

advice: DH is old fashioned (or should say a complete knob) he won’t share the booking details of flight with me as he’s worried I will mess up the booking, like I’m a stupid child! So I need advice please how can I make sure I am sat next to my kids on flight back home? I will need a booking reference I know which I will have to keep asking him for but the holiday was booked via Expedia and I think that’s what messed up when was trying to check in online 24 hours before. How can I check in if flights were booked with Expedia? I will call them if he doesn’t share booking ref but I doubt they will speak to me due to data protection. Any advice please?

Please be kind and don’t make me feel worse than I feel. Can anyone at least relate with me about how upset I was about DD sat alone? I am a survivor of childhood SA so my feelings might be out of place but I also read a news article literally a few days before flight if a 15 year old girl getting assaulted by a fellow passenger during a flight do these things do happen.

I know 🤦‍♀️ have asked for my post to be deleted

Thank goodness I fly business and First class too. But you know airlines can move you in these seats too if they need to….

My reason would be simply that i had paid for it.

I need an aisle. If you want me to swap for another aisle seat that's fine but not a chance am I sitting in the middle seat when i had the foresight to pay for what i want.
We're going away soon and I've booked aisle seats for both of us. I don't care if we're not across from each other as we'll likely have headphones on but I've paid because that's my preference.

If I can pay so can they

You can be moved by the airline as it is their duty to keep young families together for safety reasons. If you paid for your particular seat then the airline can put you in a comparable seat or refund you. But you are all high and mighty if you think you are untouchable even if you have paid for your particular seat.

But people in the same party only tend to get separated on budget airlines. People only try to save money by not paying for seat selection on budget airlines. So there is no equivalent of your hypothetical train passenger on your flights, so nobody needs to move. So what you're saying still doesn't make sense! Darling.

They can do this, but let’s face it, it rarely happens. Probably because they don’t want to risk any hassle before take off. Much more common is cheap or disorganised parents asking other passengers to swap seats.

You would be surprised it happens more than you think. On some non budget airlines this practice is common on busy flights at half term. It is nothing to do with being cheap or disorganised. More often these people are swapped to comparable seats which most people accept.

Not everyone with an invisible illness wears a sunflower lanyard. The thought of wearing one makes my husband feel exposed and uncomfortable. That’s why we pay for seats together. If he has a seizure I deal with it, no one else needs to know! Especially if it’s partial seizures etc.

Most airlines ensure that younger children (usually under 12) are sat with an adult even if you do not book the seats. Check what the airline's policy is.

It’s a flight during the summer holidays where most on board will have children they want to sit by.

I accept that most of the time you may get lucky, but it’s worth noting that seating a child next to an adult can also be in the row in front of or behind.

I get booking seats can push up the cost if the flight, but from my perspective it’s a non-negotiable.

Learn your lesson and make sure your husband books the seats together next time.

Yep I don’t wear one but I need a companion to assist me with certain things. If I was asked I’d say I paid for it, if the flight crew asked I’d tell them my disability and ask what their process was for dealing with it.

Fair enough, but you couldn’t blame the crew for asking you if you choose not to wear a badge. The crew will just ask someone else instead if they couldn’t work around your disability. Obviously it doesn’t work like that as in forcing you to move if that’s what you are thinking from these threads.

I doubt they could work around it and they really don’t want the hassle if I get injured. I’m sick of people assuming I’m ‘fine’ because I ‘don’t look disabled’. I’m not marking myself out with a lanyard as it’s nobody else’s business.

No one is being high and mighty and of course I'd have to move if the airline said so.

My point is they could have booked (well the controlling husband could have booked) the seats when they booked the trip. Just like it looks like the majority of the other passengers did.... hence the lack of seats together. I factor it in to the cost of my holiday. Just like the taxi from the airport or the airport parking or the checked in bag.

Yes yes if an airline insisted but they don’t insist for frivolous reasons. Like disorganised or cheap parents who haven’t booked seats

How arrogant of you to assume we all wear sunflower lanyards.
lesson to you. We don’t.

I guess it also depends on how reasonable the fee is for booking seats.

Plus you need to be aware that if the aircraft type is changed for operational reasons, your seat bookings and cabin class can be changed without notice.

WRT to EasyJet, I always check in as soon as possible and the family has always been sat together at no extra charge.

If I've paid extra for the seat I've chosen I don't think I "need" to swap.

That's a shame I LOVE Ryanair!

We've had so many family holidays all over the world that there's no way we could have afforded on another airline. Also we've never had a delay or had lost luggage unlike BA who are the worst airline ever.

Long live Ryanair! 🏆

If the aircraft had been changed in this situation it would have been mentioned
That's not what happened here.
Other people paid
They didn't
That's what happened here

Is this the Ryanair Twitter/X feed? 😃

If we’re just reviewing airlines now I’d like to weigh in that of the ten flights I’ve had in the past 2 months (work)… the three easyJet’s were the ones that were cancelled. And terrible customer service. So annoying.

It’s more of a reminder to check the Ts and Cs of your booking, because you can book your seats well in advance in a specified cabin class and still get royally fucked over at check in for ‘operational reasons’.

Won’t be flying BA ever again.