Plane seats - refused to swap

[Annoyed321]

please bear with me, I really need to vent but I need advice too.

Holiday with DH, 8 year old DD and 5 year old DS. Our seats were allocated away from each other. Not even on same aisle literally scattered on different parts of the plane. DH books and sorts checking in and I don’t usually get involved. He tried to apparently check in 24 hours before the flight but there was an error (he didn’t tell me), he was unable to check in and was advised online chat to see a member of staff at airport when we were flying, we get to check in on day of flight and lady says she can’t sit us together. I pleaded with her to at least let there be one of us sat with each child, no problem about all 4 of us sitting together.

She said to ask people when we get to the seat if anyone will swap with us. When we got there everyone refused, which I don’t really blame them as they checked in and chose their seats we didn’t or couldn’t.

I got very emotional as my 5 year old was crying about not sitting next to me DH as usual was unbothered and was just standing around looking unfazed. I’m really embarrassed about my reaction but he said it’s fine and I said it’s not fine “I’m not having my kids sat in between strangers”. It wasn’t as dramatic as I’m making out as it was over very quickly as the cabin crew we spoke to on boarding were able to allocate 2 seats together. Myself and my 5 year old took it and DH sat 2 rows In front of DD who was sat inbetween 2 men, DH was also sat between 2 guys so made no difference where I put her.

I was upset the entire flight and kept asking DH to keep an eye on DD, DH kept rolling his eyes and ignoring me. I felt like a bad mother leaving my child sat there with strangers. I feel embarrassed incase anyone videoed me at the start asking/pleading with people to please swap seats to allow me to sit next to my 2 kids. I only asked about 2 people and they avoided eye contact and ignored me, again I get it.

advice: DH is old fashioned (or should say a complete knob) he won’t share the booking details of flight with me as he’s worried I will mess up the booking, like I’m a stupid child! So I need advice please how can I make sure I am sat next to my kids on flight back home? I will need a booking reference I know which I will have to keep asking him for but the holiday was booked via Expedia and I think that’s what messed up when was trying to check in online 24 hours before. How can I check in if flights were booked with Expedia? I will call them if he doesn’t share booking ref but I doubt they will speak to me due to data protection. Any advice please?

Please be kind and don’t make me feel worse than I feel. Can anyone at least relate with me about how upset I was about DD sat alone? I am a survivor of childhood SA so my feelings might be out of place but I also read a news article literally a few days before flight if a 15 year old girl getting assaulted by a fellow passenger during a flight do these things do happen.

Sorry if I've missed this but surely he could have paid for the seats when he booked?

Yep, and wanting your child sitting next you doesn’t trump those reasons.

The error may have been when he tried to check in he couldn’t get seats together. @Annoyed321
I always pay at the point of booking to ensure our seats are together. I even do this if it’s just me and my husband. He has epilepsy so if he has a seizure I am there and know what to advise the flight attendant. We wouldn’t explain his medical history to random people who didn’t book seats with their children. I would just decline.
If I was travelling alone I would just wait till check in.
Its a massive risk waiting till check in especially in the height of summer holidays!

Come on now, we know most peoples reason to not move is self entitlement and grumpiness.

Check in for lots of flights only opens 24 hours before. We have flown with BA three times over the last year and for all of them it was 24 hours before departure. Also used 3rd party for all of them and apart from actually buying the tickets, everything was directly with the airline.

No if people have paid for a seat their will be a reason they've chosen that seat whether that is to sit with a partner a certain area of the plane or like me will only sit in an aisle seat. This is why I pay so I will not move for anyone.

@Overnightoatsareyummysee my post above the one you have just quoted regarding not swapping…….. it’s not self entitlement and grumpiness…it’s being prepared

Not for a specific airline that starts with E and J and is orange… it’s 7 days

I am really quite shocked and alittle appalled that none of the four men either side of your dh or dd would swap with your dh or dd, if they were single.

I have experienced this before years ago when dc were much younger, and i was as upset as you were, I am sure most people would be with you. But I asked a few people if they'd mind moving while we were waiting to board and I think it was the third person I asked who said they'd be happy to.

Definitely try to sort this out now with the airline if you can rather than wait until the day.

But we all make mistakes. If I were on my own or with adults I'd move.

by the sounds of it if they would swap it would have been to a middle seat. Meaning they would have had to give up their aisle or window seat that they would have had to pay to book.

But its not a single mistake its what a lot of entitled parents do on a regular basis as they know their will be some mug on the plane who will swap with them and then when nobody does they cry and have a tantrum about it

Those men were in aisle and window seats, so very likely paid to avoid the dreaded middle seat. The fact they were by themselves is irrelevant.

Yet nothing self entitled in expecting them to move?

Its 30 with E J

Ahh yes you are right!!

I doubt that. It is mistakes. Parents who are worried about sitting away from their dc are not going to take the risk.

I think what it comes down to is that around 50 percent of the population would move, 50 percent wouldn't or couldn't I am just surprised that all four of the men were in the wrong 50 percent!

The computer will first allocate seats to those who have actually paid to book them. Then, it'll start allocating children next to parents - depending on seat availability. Sounds like no such seats were available on your flight as they had been booked by others. Maybe book them properly next time?

I am getting really annoyed about the number of posts concerning aeroplane seating.
There are multiple options to sort this, depending on the "grade" of flight you have chosen.
To give an example. my husband, step-son and I flew to St Lucia some years ago. We wanted the equivalent of business class, but clearly as a 3-threesome, this was not going to happen. We got 2 business seats and 1 right at the back of the plane. No issue, as my husband and I alernated.
Either book all seats together when first booking or suck it up?

Exactly. It’s social etiquette. Like moving seats for a pregnant or disabled person ir mum with a pram on a train. You move to make all
passwngers lives easier. Unless the single person would prefer to be in the middle of a crying toddler who can’t equalise or have my elbows in their face while I breastfeed, fine by me! It’s of no benefit to them, meanwhile a young family is struggling. But if you are
one of those rude people I hope you enjoy your journey!

100%, lots of people I know who have children proudly say so. "Why should I pay to book a seat? I don't want to". Quickly followed by how they don't want to seat away from their children. Put those together and it's painfully obvious that in most cases it's cheeky entitlement.

There’s nothing special about a young family struggling on a plane journey - all they had to do was to pay for seats, like everyone else.

But they have!! That’s your judgment thinking they haven’t!!!’

This is true too. I found that some people moved immediately when they saw I was pregnant and others didn't even when I asked and when I was absolutely huge - though someone else usually overheard and got up instead. Which was kind of them. In fact, what I found a bit amusing was that when I was not pregnant, suited and booted, looking fabulous, men would always get up for me even when I didn't want them to, to offer their seat, yet when pregnant and not looking my best, some men wouldn't move!!