AIBU to want a 4th child, is it self sabotage?

[BeeHappy12]

I'm really stuck. DH and I have 3 kids aged 6.5, 4 and 2 and have been going back and forth on whether we should have child no 4.

The thing is I find 3 quite a lot in terms of mental energy, activities for the kids and 1:1 time already. My husband and I are very equal in terms of work and family time and we would be financially fine. My husband is happy with 3 (and in balance would prefer to stop because he's pragmatic about time, money) but can also see the positives of 4 and would support me if I really want it.

It feels like 3 is manageable for me and I should stop and be grateful and then I feel this impulse to go for no.4 to have another little person to watch grow and have a bigger family. I'm worried that with 3 there won't be enough going on around the house when they're all in school, like there is now. Is this just self sabotage because things are manageable and I'm pushing myself into unmanageable territory?

Help!

Thought so… nothing to say! Dead end comment as I expected. Good luck.

So you're saying you disagree with the government? Who will look after you when you're elderly if the carer shortage worsens? Brexit has made it even more difficult to recruit workers from abroad. Think outside the box!

If they all go to university are you able to support 2 children at university at once for a decade? as that’s what you’ll be looking at.

Okay, I've listed some of the many negatives of 3+ children; please list some positives so that I am less biased.

OP: It is 'just' biology/an evolutionary drive to try to get you to have more children. In lots of ways, our innate evolutionary needs haven't caught up with modern society where every other child doesn't die before the age of five.

See also our seeking out of high-energy foods!

The thing is, no matter how much of a resource (time/energy/money) you have, you will have to divide it further with each additional child. So the existing children will end up losing out regardless. And I wouldn’t focus on the early years, I’d think in terms of the lifetime of each child. Even down to grandparenting duties. My parents are default support for myself and my brother due to where we all live. They are (delighted about the fact they are) rushed off their feet with two sets of grandchildren. They are VERY glad they never had a third (or fourth etc) child themselves as they feel they would have had to split themselves more and more and therefore not have the same close relationship. I feel the same and am stopping at 2 perfect children